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Snowlover
Quit Date: -
Posts: 566 Location: Northern California
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Posted: April 10, 2008 11:31 AM Post subject: Tough Night |
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Oh my gosh, my youngest son pushes every button I have and some I didn't know I had.
That kid has learned from a very young age how to whine, feel sorry for himself, mope, mess up and be extremely stubborn. He's terrible with money, he's suffering from depression and says he can sleep at night without getting drunk.
I'm trying so hard not to buy into all the drama and yet be there for him emotionally. He got his divorce papers this week, think that is what pushed him over. Pretty bad when you're so unhappy, bored (& without a vehicle) that you call your mother to talk.
Anyway, he's also honest, hard-working,outgoing and very smart. He wants to go to college now. I just have to find a way to help him with that.
I love him so much.
I guess it would help if I stay healthy for him.
Thanks for letting me go over the edge.
My oldest son is my rock. He is the total opposite.
K |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: April 10, 2008 12:00 PM Post subject: |
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i get the sense that he's used to being able to manipulate you with his whining, self-pity, drinking, etc.; what if he couldn't do that any more? what would that do for him? more importantly, what would that do for you? _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: April 10, 2008 12:30 PM Post subject: |
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Be thankful for the son who is your "rock." He can probably help you out with some logical advice since he's closer to the age of the son who is giving you problems. _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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Snowlover
Quit Date: -
Posts: 566 Location: Northern California
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Posted: April 10, 2008 1:12 PM Post subject: |
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I keep finding more ways that I'm enabling him and I'm trying hard to steer clear of his drama. I forget when I'm talking to him that he is just venting. I need to stop picking up his problems and carrying them when he drops them on me. He doesn't even expect that.
K |
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pinkpearl
Quit Date: June 30, 2007
Posts: 1667 Location: Illinois
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Posted: April 10, 2008 9:42 PM Post subject: |
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Snowlover wrote: |
I keep finding more ways that I'm enabling him and I'm trying hard to steer clear of his drama. I forget when I'm talking to him that he is just venting. I need to stop picking up his problems and carrying them when he drops them on me. He doesn't even expect that.
K |
I do that with my daughter too.
Hopefully everything will work out, with his divorce that may be why he is worse lately. _________________
My avatars name is moon ray |
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Cowgirl UP!
Quit Date: July 26, 2004
Posts: 5029 Location: Ala
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Posted: April 10, 2008 11:35 PM Post subject: |
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I can really relate...I had to learn how to help and establish boundaries too....that way, you feel you are getting them to the bridge and then you can step back and let them crossover....The main thing that helped me was to take a deep breath and believe I had done a good job and the right choices would be made.
Kay _________________
All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP |
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Snowlover
Quit Date: -
Posts: 566 Location: Northern California
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Posted: April 17, 2008 1:03 PM Post subject: |
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Yah,
What if my son couldn't manipulate me any more? What if?
Would he be able to accept what is happening to him? Would he be closer to finding contentment and happiness within himself? It would be a start.
K |
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