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Can someone repost "What if?" question (by Kevin)

 
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gabrielle



Quit Date:
October 14, 2008

Posts: 21
Location: Hudson Valley, New York

PostPosted: October 21, 2008 8:11 AM    Post subject: Can someone repost "What if?" question (by Kevin) Reply with quote

I hope someone knows what I am talking about! I read a post from Kevin somewhere that he suggested to the person to keep asking "What if?". I cannot find where I read it. It struck me as really important and I remember the idea of it, but definitely want to read it again. I don't really know how to search and find it myself...
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chilly101



Quit Date:
October 10, 2008

Posts: 75

PostPosted: October 21, 2008 8:32 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi Gab


i have just copy and pasted this , think this is what u mean :

time to get digging - and don't settle for the easy answers, either - ask yourself, "why did i smoke those cigarettes?" - and whatever the answer is, start playing "what if?" - for instance, if your answer is, "because i was tired", ask yourself, "ok, but what if it wasn't because i was tired? why did i do it then?"

keep going with this process until you start to get answers that make you feel a bit uncomfortable; then you know you're getting close. keep going until you can't get any further answer when you ask "what if?" and you're there. now figure out why you feel that way, and decide if it's valid for you any more. if not, let it go and move on.

here's an extreme example of what i mean: someone i know was trying to change her life, and was using the affirmation, "i deserve to be happy". after affirming this for some time without seeing any change in her life, she decided to play "what if?" with her affirmation, and she discovered something about herself that she didn't realize before:

one of the variations of the affirmation she explored was "i deserve to be", and when she did, she realized that she still felt guilty that she was alive when her sister wasn't (her sister had died many years before, when they were kids - i don't remember how - and my friend had thought at the time, "it should have been me" - and this thought had followed her into adulthood, buried way beneath the surface). once she found that thought and brought it up into the light, she could decide whether it was valid for her any more. it wasn't easy, but she was finally able to let go of that thought and go on with her life.

hopefully, your "what if?" session won't have such a traumatic ending, but there's something in you that's allowing you to believe that it's somehow ok to start poisoning yourself again, and until you know what that is, it'll continue to sabotage your efforts to stay free. the first step to dealing with it is to dig it up and look at it.
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gabrielle



Quit Date:
October 14, 2008

Posts: 21
Location: Hudson Valley, New York

PostPosted: October 21, 2008 8:43 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's it! Thanks a LOT Chilly!!! Hope you are doing great today.
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: October 21, 2008 8:44 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morning Gabrielle,

Is this the post you were looking for?
http://quit-smoking-support.woofmang.com/viewtopic.php?t=10270&highlight=yourself
Located in the Introduction forum Titled "Conned Myself"

I'm re-posting it here instead of just listing the link, because it's awesome some advice he gave and it would also benefit others too. Wink

Kevin wrote in the thread the following:

welcome back, kate!

time to get digging - and don't settle for the easy answers, either - ask yourself, "why did i smoke those cigarettes?" - and whatever the answer is, start playing "what if?" - for instance, if your answer is, "because i was tired", ask yourself, "ok, but what if it wasn't because i was tired? why did i do it then?"

keep going with this process until you start to get answers that make you feel a bit uncomfortable; then you know you're getting close. keep going until you can't get any further answer when you ask "what if?" and you're there. now figure out why you feel that way, and decide if it's valid for you any more. if not, let it go and move on.

here's an extreme example of what i mean: someone i know was trying to change her life, and was using the affirmation, "i deserve to be happy". after affirming this for some time without seeing any change in her life, she decided to play "what if?" with her affirmation, and she discovered something about herself that she didn't realize before:

one of the variations of the affirmation she explored was "i deserve to be", and when she did, she realized that she still felt guilty that she was alive when her sister wasn't (her sister had died many years before, when they were kids - i don't remember how - and my friend had thought at the time, "it should have been me" - and this thought had followed her into adulthood, buried way beneath the surface). once she found that thought and brought it up into the light, she could decide whether it was valid for her any more. it wasn't easy, but she was finally able to let go of that thought and go on with her life.

hopefully, your "what if?" session won't have such a traumatic ending, but there's something in you that's allowing you to believe that it's somehow ok to start poisoning yourself again, and until you know what that is, it'll continue to sabotage your efforts to stay free. the first step to dealing with it is to dig it up and look at it.
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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chilly101



Quit Date:
October 10, 2008

Posts: 75

PostPosted: October 21, 2008 9:15 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
That's it! Thanks a LOT Chilly!!! Hope you are doing great today.



Im doing fine thanks. Today is day eleven of my quit so im proud to have got to this stage and im still as determined as i was on day 1 to see it through .
ive had no end of goodwill , support and education from this forum which has helped me along the way .
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nicfirth



Quit Date:
July 17, 2008

Posts: 383
Location: England

PostPosted: October 22, 2008 5:13 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done Chilly,

Keep it up, its worth it.

Maintaining the resolve, can be hard at times so its good to hear that its just as strong now as on day 1. If you can keep it there throughout you are home and dry.

All the best,

Nic
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nicfirth



Quit Date:
July 17, 2008

Posts: 383
Location: England

PostPosted: October 22, 2008 5:16 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, gabrielle

Hope you are doing well today,

That post is a great read.

I see you are into your 2nd week now that's great.

Keep up the good work.

Nic
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chilly101



Quit Date:
October 10, 2008

Posts: 75

PostPosted: October 22, 2008 10:20 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Nic and thanks Smile
Day 12 now , I have the cold today Sad its made me realise how bad i was with cigarettes ...i would smoke through any cold i had...crazy to think when your coughing away that you would have happily reached for a cigarette and lit up! And then ofcourse after you had finished your cigarette you would feel so much worse but it would never stop you having your next one anytime soon!!
Im cringing just thinking about it. I feel so much cleaner and fresher as a non smoker even though today i have a docked dup dose!!
Keep up the good work peeps!!
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