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This sucks! Why is it getting harder?!!!

 
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gabrielle



Quit Date:
October 14, 2008

Posts: 21
Location: Hudson Valley, New York

PostPosted: October 30, 2008 10:36 PM    Post subject: This sucks! Why is it getting harder?!!! Reply with quote

I am on day 17 of my quit. Nicotine is out of my system, breaking old habits, all the right stuff, right?! So why is this getting so much harder???? I don't remember any of my past quits being like this. I remember a few days of temper tantrums and misery then it getting easier gradually. The past 2 days I am playing games with myself- daring myself to just go buy a pack and smoke one because F it- I want one. I do not want to be a smoker. I really want a f*ing cigarette, though. I have not had one, but I am ready to get changed out of my pjs and run to the corner store for a pack. Just one. I was doing so great, too. Felt so proud, clean, powerful. Now I feel like a drug addict, which is what I know I am. What the hell? I am so furious with this addiction. Life is not this hard!!! I am a good person. I do good things for other people. I am kind, thoughtful, blah blah blah. I am not a skanky junkie! Why can't this feeling just go away?! I want to just NOT want one. This sucks. I feel like the more I "deny" myself one, the stronger the desire for one gets. And I know I am not denying myself anything! I am very confused and pissed off right now! (Can ya' tell?! Smile Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Smoking sucks. Wanting a cigarette sucks. What the hell is so attractive about a stupid little stick with smelly toxic chemicals in it? Oh, let me run out and get one and make myself sick and stinky. I feel like a 2 year old being told she can't have a piece of candy- gonna fling myself on the floor and start wailing in a minute!!! Well... I guess this one really did belong in the rant section, but someone has GOT to tell me this is normal and is going to get better soon.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: October 30, 2008 11:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is pretty normal - and it will get better.....Old Laughing Demon will continue to want try trip you back into feeding the addiction. You get to choose - freedom or addiction. Think through what comes AFTER you smoke just that one....how do you feel? How do you smell? how much money did you burn? And what comes next? You'll probably find yourself wanting to quit agqain...and wonder why did you smoke? finish the day smoke free - and decide again tomorrow...just one day at a time....

Choose LIFE and FREEDOM!! you can do it....
_________________

Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: October 30, 2008 11:42 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Gabrielle,

Hold on sweetheart!! It does SUCK sometimes!! But just stand your ground. Take some deep breaths. Now, instead of dwelling on that "one" smoke, think of something you really enjoy doing. Do some jumping jacks...I know sounds stupid, but get the body moving to help distract from the constant thought of that smoke. Punch a pillow, scream if you can...if you live in an apartment do it in a pillow so the neighbors won't call the police Shocked Laughing Laughing Come on, trying to lighten the mood a bit there for ya. Wink And speak of...got any good comedy's on hand to watch. It's hard to dwell on it when you're laughing your butt off.

Remember Scowling Demon knows exactly what buttons to push to drive you to the edge. Those flooding thoughts of wanting one are just thoughts...yes, they are driving you crazy right now, but they can not force you to light up. Only you have the power to actually go to the store, buy a pack, and smoke. You can put your foot down right now, and tell it...no! No waivering back and forth....want one, don't want one, want one, don't want one...you're not picking off daisy petals here looking for an answer of true love. Wink You have to say and mean it....I am not going to smoke, I don't want to smoke and I have no "desire" to smoke. I don't want the whole ball of wax of the whole addiction...which just one will lead to.

There are two articles at whyquit that may help
Free Relapse Insurance http://www.whyquit.com/whyquit/A_FreeRelapseInsurance.html

Fixating on a Cigarette http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_04_18_fixating.html

If nothing else read these and then just go to bed and get some sleep. Wink Things will look better in the light of day....just don't smoke no matter what!!

Big Hugs Gabrielle!!! {{{{{{Gabrielle}}}}}}
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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gabrielle



Quit Date:
October 14, 2008

Posts: 21
Location: Hudson Valley, New York

PostPosted: October 31, 2008 8:37 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

THANK YOU!!!!! I made it through the night without my head spinning around and turning into the monster that I thought I was going to if I didn't have a cigarette Laughing Rolling Eyes That never really does happen, does it?! Hee hee... The 2 articles were so helpful. I do like Joel's site a lot- these were exactly the things I needed to be reminded of. I got into that ridiculous battle of "Just one would be so great, then I can quit again" (huh? duh!!!) and "No!! Don't do it! Its not worth all you've done so far! How can you even be having these thoughts?". Well, now it makes sense, and when things make sense, it is easier to cope. So thank you both. 18 days smoke free. 18 days since I kicked nicodemon butt. I'm gonna keep on kickin'!!
Hai- yah!!! (that is supposed to be the stereotypical karate sound...)
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: October 31, 2008 8:53 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morning Gabrielle! Very Happy

WTG!! Knowledge is power. Wink You are sounding very chipper and confident this morning. Yeahhhh!!! Keep kicking it, for sure Smile Love the karate chop Cool

Boogie! Boogie!

Big Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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nicfirth



Quit Date:
July 17, 2008

Posts: 383
Location: England

PostPosted: October 31, 2008 8:53 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad you saw it through OK.

There are good days and bad days and the further into the quit you get the more good days there are and fewer bad ones!

I also think it re-enforces the fact that you have achieved a fantastic thing, despite all the attempts Laughing Demon has made you refuse to let it back into your life.

Well done

Nic
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chilly101



Quit Date:
October 10, 2008

Posts: 75

PostPosted: October 31, 2008 9:42 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi gab...glad you overcame the urge. I know if i was a nicodemon i would be running from that Karate chop Rolling Eyes
Well done for getting over it and staying with your excellent quit .
Im bout the same as you in quit terms ...im 3 weeks now - 21 days...it is wierd how it tries to sneak up on you and make you believe that you are missing out...and that you always liked smoking!!
like those two articles also. Smile
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popsiesgirl



Quit Date:
October 6, 2008

Posts: 7

PostPosted: November 2, 2008 7:10 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done Gabrielle on not giving in to temptation. You've proved your stronger than your addiction and that you CAN beat it into submission!

I'm just a week ahead of you (4 weeks clean today) and I still get quite intense cravings every now and then. I think the worst thing about them is that they seem to come from nowhere and catch you when you are ill-prepared.

The 2 articles mentioned above are really helpful-especially the one about just wanting 1 cigarette-I know there is no such thing for me now and to have just one puff will mean signing up for the whole package again-something I definitely don't want.


My personal way of dealing with cravings now is to mop the bathroom floor (if I'm at home) or take loads of really long deep breaths (if I'm out). Don't know why but these seem to be enough of a distraction to help the feeling pass and my bathroom floor has never been so clean!

Good luck Gabrielle-you are winning this battle every day!
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Wanderer62



Quit Date:
April 30, 2014

Posts: 69
Location: Western New York

PostPosted: November 3, 2008 12:18 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations Gabrielle! You did just the right thing. You came here BEFORE you did anything. You faced Scowling Demon and kicked it out of the house. Thanks for setting a great example for me and all of us when we go through the same thing.

Kate
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