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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: December 31, 2008 11:06 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dianne - way to go! Nice job on delaying that morning smoke. I did some "practicing" as I was getting ready to quit. I was sure the car wouldn't go if I didn't have a lit cigarette in my hand. I discovered it runs just fine...but I practiced driving to work in the morning without smoking - so I "knew" I could do it!

Keep working the lessons...some may seem silly - but they all have an essential message...Happy New Year to you too!!! 2009 is going to be great!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1667
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: January 1, 2009 6:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i actually cut down to 3 per day, said it would be my last pack.
had one on the way to work, one on the way home, and one
outside after dinner, until the pack was gone. then, no more..
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: January 1, 2009 8:05 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

a lot of people said they missed the cigarette(s) they had with their morning coffee the most (and i remember feeling the same in earlier quits), so part of my preparation for this quit was not smoking with my morning coffee any more; i'd wait until after i'd had my coffee, took a shower, and brushed my teeth before i'd have my first smoke of the day.

the result? when day one came, i had my morning coffee, and never even missed the smokes. and i can honestly say that i don't remember a single morning in the last 7-plus years having my coffee and missing them. (there may have been one or two somewhere along the way, but if there were, i don't remember them now...)

keep up the good work - you're going to do great! Smile
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Dianne



Quit Date:
June 21, 2009

Posts: 18

PostPosted: January 1, 2009 10:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Kevin. I am planning to go your tales website soon. So today. I was not able to get as much done as I wanted at FFS. But I did get a journal so I can write down my assignments and keep them with me, as I start this journey. Again today I avoided the morning smoke... It was great. I also left my cigarettes at home when I left the house to do an errand. I usually have one in my car on the way there (if I have no kids with me) and then another on the way home. But I thought why not just leave the smokes here and see how it goes? I thought about smoking almost the whole way to Walmart. And thought about smoking almost the whole way back, but it was just that, a thought a LONG thought. But I still got my errand done without a smoke and I still functioned..... I am not sure what has come over me the past few days, but I feel determined to find a way to my quit.... my way to freedom.. I cannot express how much coming here and seeing the support that is being offered out means to me, it only strengthens my belief that If I am really and truly ready to do the work I just might be able to make smoking a thing of the past. I really hope I can...
At the same time that I am celebrating my little smoking victories I am still really SCARED!!!!!!!! Sure I can have a morning without the first thing smoke, or sure I can go an errand without a smoke... but can I really and truly go day after day, week after week???? I really hope so!!!! Anyway I am off to do my assignment. I have been thinking about it all day but have not had a chance to sit down and write it down.... ( I have young kids) Thanks again until next time!
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: January 1, 2009 11:32 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't let worry about what might be in the future bog you down. Try to stay in the present and focus on what you are doing...just right now. Make sure you are giving yourself positive messages....positive self-talk is a good thing!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: January 2, 2009 12:04 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

mary's exactly right; we create more stress in our lives by worrying about what might happen than by any other mechanism. i wrote a tale about that somewhere along the way...

http://www.woofmang.com/tales/what_time_is_it.shtml
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Dianne



Quit Date:
June 21, 2009

Posts: 18

PostPosted: January 2, 2009 10:56 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks!!! You are both right... When I think too much I get really overwhelmed and start doubting... When I take things one step at a time I actually believe I might be able to do it... One step at a time.... One battle at a time.... that is an area I need to work on. It is strange the feelings and thoughts that go when you begin this journey yet again!!! But I have never tried it this way before and it already feels different....
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Dianne



Quit Date:
June 21, 2009

Posts: 18

PostPosted: January 9, 2009 6:32 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Working my way through the lessons at FFS felt like sharing with you all here today... I am on Module 2 now.... One step at a time

Assignment #1:
Compare your two choices (To Smoke or Not To Smoke) in writing. Start using the phrase “ I can quit smoking” Say it, write it….. over and over.


Reasons to Keep Smoking
- It brings me comfort
- Weight gain
- It is a pleasure “break”
- I enjoy it and my alone time
- It is part of who I am (20 years)
- Another failure at quitting will
really destroy my self esteem
- I am not sure how to deal with life
situations without my smokes
I am scared of what might happen if I don’t
-
Reasons to Quit
- My health present and future
- My beautiful Babies
- I cough a little everyday it doesn’t hurt
(yet)
- I lie about it to everyone, except my hubby
- Stop planning my life plans to accomdate
smoking
- Being a closet smoker is having a secret
- To grow old with my Michael
- I am aging (face) quickly
- I am scared of what might happen if I do.


Assignment #2
Take a few minutes and think about your life and your behaviors. Make a list answering this question: Why do you smoke?

This is a tough one.. Obviously I smoke when I need a fix.. I think my strongest for that is first thing in the morning and after work ( if I work a full day.) but I also just justify the time. It is a moment away from my life, a break you might say. Sometimes I will be outside puffing away and I think, I am not even enjoying this… so I take another puff just to be sure and throw it away. only half smoked. I started working again in the fall and have not allowed myself to sneak out for smoke breaks. Mostly because I know smokers smell I did not want to take a chance on smelling. And the strangest part is I can get through a day without even thinking about smoking. Since I never smoked there I do not associate it and get no or very few cravings or even thoughts. I smoke alone…. Since my health scare I do not have the courage to smoke in front of people. I mean I do not want them to know I am this stupid.. So if we have company I go without or find reasons to go to the store or outside and sneak one.
So why do I smoke…. it makes me feel less alone, when I am fighting with my husband. I hate when we fight or even argue and I go right to the smokes for comfort. I smoke when I have had a really great day…. I mean life is good so why not smoke to celebrate it!!! (insane I know). I smoke because I am scared that if I quit… I will never be a happy person, that I will always want to smoke and that I will always miss it from my life. I listen and watch people with months and years quit and they sound great and really free but I am not sure I can be happy without my smoking.

Why do I smoke, because I am not sure how to live without it. I am not sure how to function in almost all areas without smoking being a part of it. I think I am more of an emotional smoker than anything, which tells me I have a huge psychological addiction. I smoke because I am addicted to it and all its lies.

This assignment was hard for me, because I know there is no good reason to smoke, but I do it anyway…… I hope that by being 100% honest with myself I will find my way out!!
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Gidget



Quit Date:
March 14, 2008

Posts: 693
Location: New Haven, CT

PostPosted: January 9, 2009 6:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dianne, honesty is so important when fighting addiction. Good for you! You are building a strong foundation.
Gidget
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My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.
-Elaine Maxwell
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: January 9, 2009 11:41 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dianne - keep working on your lessons....one thing to think about - you said you wondered if you could be happy not smoking.... I think happiness is a choice! Smoking is a choice. Nicotine addiction is real - and you get to choose - continue to feed it and poison yourself - or break free.

I always thought I'd be one of those smokers who would turn off the oxygen to smoke. But I knew I had to at least try to quit - so i gave it my best shot...and once I was quit and started seeing all of the benefits of quitting - Once I could really assess my addiction without the influence of nicotine - I knew I wanted freedom. Just take the leap and see how it feels. But don't try to convince yourself that you won't be happy not smoking. Think back to before you smoked....way back...were you happy? You can do it!!

I remember something my boss said when he realized I smoked - he told me that I was way too smart to be a smoker. At least I was smart enough to finally quit..... I found my thinking is different without the influence of nicotine!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Dianne



Quit Date:
June 21, 2009

Posts: 18

PostPosted: January 10, 2009 10:16 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks I know alot of this is choice and I am working on that. Here is my assignment three!! I am a bit behind, with going back to work, but trying to catch up. I am also reading Allan Carr's book before I go to bed.. I am enjoying the feeling of empowerment and Education it and FFS is giving me. Hope you do not mind me sharing my assignments, the feedback is helpful and the sharing strengthens my resolve.

Assignment #3

My Back Doors

Weight Gain – I have struggled with my weight my whole life but since having 2 children I am heavier then ever or have been for 3 years. I have lost 20 lbs this year and want to continue the journey. But I also know that quitting smoking is more important right now for my health then excess weight. So I have excepted that if I have to put a halt on weight loss while I first stop smoking then so be it. However, I also know I have to find others ways to get through craves then food. I am planning to continue to stay on the current food plan I am on and exercise and use thoughts, readings and my relaxing CDS to get through the tough parts. I am already comfortable and strong with my eating, I need to find the same strength to NTAP. And if I do gain weight during my quit, then I accept it as part of the journey and that with freedom will come a happier healthier person who should be able to get back on track.


Emotional Moments – this is a huge one for me. I am extremely sensitive and emotional, I wear all my emotions on my sleeve. My hubby always tells me that he never has to wonder what is wrong with me, because I am sure to tell him in a moment. I smoke a lot when I am angry and upset. It is the first thing I reach for when I feel emotional.. I have been really thinking to myself the last while, what the cigarette does for me…. I think part of it, is the “break” when I am really angry or upset, I leave the situation and go outside, and while I am smoking I assess the situation and often calm down and start thinking more rationally and make a plan to solve it and come back it more positive. I am realizing the cigarette is not what is calming me down it is the ‘break” from the situation.. I need to find a new way to remove myself from the argument, go lay down or go for a walk and get my head around the situation without a smoke in my hand. I need to allow myself the me time and once and for all acknowledge that smoking is not what calms me, it is just something I do while I collect my thoughts.


These are the two main reasons I have failed in the past. The only other one I can think of right now is failure itself. I am so sick of failing at quitting. Of ALWAYS having to thinking of smoking or quitting. I cannot remember a time I was smoking that I did not think of quitting or a time in my two long quits that I did not think of smoking. It is a vicious cycle that I have to break… So to shut this back door, I have to NTAP and then failure is not an issue… Easier said than done!
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Dianne



Quit Date:
June 21, 2009

Posts: 18

PostPosted: January 10, 2009 10:20 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Module 2 - Assignment 1

Take some time now to figure out your own pattern of behavior and how often you have strengthened it. Warning: you’ll need a calculator for this one!
10 inhalations x number of cigarettes smoked per day = number of practices a day x 365 days = number of practices per year x number of years smoked = number of times you have strengthened your behavior.

10 X 16 = 160
160 X 365 days = 58400
58400 X 20 years = 1168000 (1.2 million)

Yikes!!! I have really LEARNED how to smoke haven't I????
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: January 10, 2009 3:05 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i found that one pretty alarming, too - mine was somewhere around 2.5 million... Shocked
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kevin

the zen of the quit
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Gidget



Quit Date:
March 14, 2008

Posts: 693
Location: New Haven, CT

PostPosted: January 10, 2009 8:47 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are doing great, Dianne!
I, too smoked to deal with/bury emotions. Food/drink/smoke, all of it. I have found the last 10 months the opportunity to address all of the things I buried for 17 years. It's not easy, but it is like cleaning a dirty house. It gives me the opportunity to start fresh with everything once I get through all of these old things that I let hang around like the stench of stale cigarette smoke. I couldn't see it, but boy did it stink! I didn't mean to write so much about myself, what I did mean to do was give you hope that dealing with those emotions could be just the thing you crave.
Hugs to you!
Gidget
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My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.
-Elaine Maxwell
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Dianne



Quit Date:
June 21, 2009

Posts: 18

PostPosted: January 11, 2009 11:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thank you Gidget. It helps to hear about other people and their journey. I welcome anything you are willing to share.. Please feel free to tell me more about yourself and your quit.. It all helps.. I am pack track and I hate it.. I am not sure why, I just do not like writing it down. The FFS says the things we do not like the most is probably a major obstacle in the quit. I am not sure why pack track would bug me so much but it does.. I am looking forward to the next part.
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