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Whirlygig



Quit Date:
April 28, 2009

Posts: 8

PostPosted: April 30, 2009 1:27 PM    Post subject: Reasons Reply with quote

I have been mentoring kids for about 15 years now.

Throughout that time, I have had every sort of question, comment and judgment thrown at me about my nicotine addiction. I either made a lot of excuses, or was as honest as possible about my lack of power over it. (It never occurred to me that I was just accepting that powerlessness - and the hypocrisy of that while being a youth mentor.) So this week when I was chatting with a few of my former kids and the subject of me quitting came up, I was pretty shocked at the type of responses I was getting.

Now, I am a big advocate of personal responsibility and taking charge of yourself and how you react to the world around you. I listen well, and sympathetically, but most of my advice can be summed up in a few statements:

Why are you in this situation?

What are you doing to make this situation better?

How can you affect how others see you in this situation? (as in, don't be a victim!)

Life isn't unfair because you are in this situation, life is just unfair. Get a helmet, and get on with it.

So. There I was feeling sorry for myself and looking for some support. Imagine my surprise, shock and delight when I started seeing :

-- Come on - you did this to yourself. Get yourself out of this. We are here for you.

-- It is good that you are talking about this. What else are you doing?

-- quit your bitching old man (one of my favourites), man up!

and several versions of :

-- Life doesn't suck because you are quitting smoking - life just sucks. Get a helmet and get on with it.

It honestly brought tears to my eyes. We all had a pretty good laugh at my expense. It felt good to have to look in the mirror of my advice and see that it still applies; and especially so that it applies to me. It certainly gave my kids a lift to be able to put those lessons back on me. Funny enough though, it was another part of the conversation that really stuck with me last night.

At one point I was asked why now, especially as I had been bugged about smoking for as long as they knew me. I had to think about it. One thing about these kids - I never let them give me a flippant answer to an important question, so I have to be careful on how I respond. The have highly developed BS meters and are not afraid to call it. I can't claim health reasons - they know I am educated on those. Nor would social, familial or other outside pressures affect me enough. Was I sick? Did something major change in my life? Why now?

The biggest reason that I think this quit is going to work is that I have plans now that are exclusive of smoking. It has no place in the future that I want and instead of thinking that I can not do something because I smoke, I decided that I will do it, damn it, because I quit!

I am finally taking control and it feels good. But damn, those kids are insufferable Very Happy
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: April 30, 2009 5:04 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love your post. It made me look at myself and life again. Thank you. I like your reason to quit to. Good attitude.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: April 30, 2009 6:38 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

The young people you mentor are very fortunate to have someone so truthful and enciteful to talk with them. By quitting, you'll have a much longer and healthier life to spend helping others. Congratulations!
_________________

LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Whirlygig



Quit Date:
April 28, 2009

Posts: 8

PostPosted: May 1, 2009 11:27 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, here is another reason for all of you potential quitters!

I have been on a dating website for about 8 months now. In the past 4 days since I changed my profile to non-smoker, I have had twice the number of messages than in the previous 8 months combined.

How did I miss that benefit for all these years?!?

This is starting to be fun!
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 2, 2009 12:36 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smile

kids are the greatest. Wink
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Whirlygig



Quit Date:
April 28, 2009

Posts: 8

PostPosted: May 3, 2009 4:24 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

As I am somewhat new to the area here, I have been looking for places to hike, camp or generally get away from it all. This can be an arduous task of trial and error, unless you cheat a bit. I have been cheating by using a helicopter to scout possible routes.

That said, karma has a strange way of catching up to a person. Yesterday I took advantage of a lack of rain to head up into a local valley. About 2 miles in, there is a deep gorge that I visited once in the helo. It is about 60 feet wide, up to 500 feet deep and meanders quite a bit. I thought this would be a great spot to go and take some pictures, get some exercise and generally relax.

Little did I know, karma lurks in mountain streams...

After hiking in to the start of the gorge, I was stopped by a short stretch of cliff. There was plenty of shoreline just past it, but the only other route involved a long detour through dense, hilly forest. As I used to be a bit of a rock climber, I decided to go for the traverse. There was a great little ledge I could follow and loads of handholds. As you have probably guessed, about half-way along the ledge, I lost my grip and fell into icy water up to my armpits. Levitation ensued.

Back on the shore, I did the obligatory strip to my underwear, wringing out my clothes and trying to warm up and get dry. About this time I realized that this would be the normal time that I would be looking through my pack for a dry smoke and lighter. Instead, I did some calisthenics, field stripped my cell phone, and generally wavered between laughing at and feeling sorry for myself.

Once things were dry enough, I gave up all hope of conquering the gorge that day, and turned for the hike home. While it was sodden, cold and somewhat miserable, my spirits were high. I will go back there one of these days, and take someone else with me. At least then I can get some funny pictures when THEY fall off that cliff.

For now, though, I am off to google what microwave settings will best dry out a cell phone.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: May 3, 2009 6:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite an adventure....nice! I'm sure that's a tale you'll tell more than once or twice!

Hope you didn't catch a cold!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 4, 2009 3:50 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy That was quite an experience you had.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 4, 2009 8:51 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Whirlygig



Quit Date:
April 28, 2009

Posts: 8

PostPosted: May 5, 2009 5:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

One week today!

Went out with one of the ladies from school today and talked about quitting while she had a smoke. It felt good not smoking, and talking to someone on the other side of the fence. It felt doubly good that I didn't even want to stand down wind from her. The cravings come and go, but not the desire, if that makes sense.

Also, I started smelling things that I haven't for years. I probably look like a goof stopping in the middle of something just to enjoy a scent, but it is worth it.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: May 6, 2009 12:26 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope there are lots of "good" smells and not too many of the "bad" ones...
Pros and Cons to a heightened sense of smell! Enjoy!
_________________

Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Gidget



Quit Date:
March 14, 2008

Posts: 693
Location: New Haven, CT

PostPosted: May 6, 2009 7:43 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

A week is such an awesome milestone! You are being strong and so so smart for coming here and sharing your thoughts and experiences. Woohoo!
Gidget
_________________

My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.
-Elaine Maxwell
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: May 6, 2009 7:41 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on your first week of freedom! Keep it going, the next week should get easier and so on. Awesome job! Smile
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Essie
4/14/04
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1667
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: May 6, 2009 8:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats to you!!!
there will be many more,
just keep it up!!
_________________

My avatars name is moon ray
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