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One habit to another

 
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: May 9, 2009 12:00 AM    Post subject: One habit to another Reply with quote

As you all know I quit smoking 5 years ago on April 11. Well what you don't know is 2 years later I picked up another habit and honestly I don 't know what made me pick up and do it. I became what is known as a cutter and believe me it is just as hard if not harder to break then smoking. You learn to enjoy it to really rely on it. I started because my life was in such chaos that I couldn't handle it. Now I am trying to kick that as well and finding it much harder then when I smoked. I have several times rid myself of all razor blades in the house but then turn around and buy more. It is worse then a drug. I know that I am basically a pathetic human being at least that is how my family and many people I know see me. but I can't help what I am I do my best.
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
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jimotter



Quit Date:
November 19, 2003

Posts: 2411
Location: Everett Washington

PostPosted: May 9, 2009 1:16 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona
I found this, maybe you too have found this site too, but I thought maybe this might help you.
Jim


http://www.essortment.com/articles/self-injury_100006.htm
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Never give up on yourself. We are so worth the effort. Smoking creates nothing but misery for us and those around us. Smoking is socially unacceptable everywhere we go.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: May 9, 2009 8:35 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((Leona))) - you can kick it... I have never thought of you as "a pathetic human being" (to use your words) - you are a strong woman facing many challneges - and working hard to do your best. You are a success story on many levels...hang in there!!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: May 9, 2009 9:33 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Mary, Leona. You are absolutely NOT a pathetic human being but someone who needs love and compassion. Your life, lately, hasn't been easy. Of course that's no reason to hurt yourself. You're far too special to do that. Have you sought professional help?

I know this must be terrible for you and you have my prayers for a solution, quit buddy. We've come a long way together helping each other and, if there's anything I can do for you now, please PM me. (((((LEONA)))))
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 9, 2009 1:03 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'm not sure you realize this yet, leona, but just the fact that you're looking for the answer means that you're already on the road to recovery from this, too. and remember: just like with quitting smoking, you already have everything you need to overcome this challenge; you just have to learn to use it for yourself, not against yourself.
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: May 10, 2009 12:08 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys. I am having a particularily rough time with my daughter right now. She apparently things the world and ME should cater to her every whim. Today she gave out my cell number AFTER I expressly told her not to give it out without my permission. I had to change the bloody thing because My bloody X husband got ahold of my old number and kept calling looking for my daughter... I didn't want him having the number, I didn't want him calling period if she wants to talk to him she will have to get a phone card and go to a pay phone. But that is only the tip of the iceberg. My daughter and I are constantly argueing about EVERYTHING. And the language that comes out of her mouth directed at me well it shows absolutely NO respect. She is 20 years old has no job and WON"T help out around here. I cannot afford to run her in to town 25 miles one way to look for work or to run her back adn forth for a job either or college. But she expects me to... I CAN"T and have told her I can't and won't she needs to be responsible for herself. I am so stressed that I pick up the razor blade and slash at my arm. Before I know it I am bleeding and watching it run down my arm as if it is bleeding away my stress and pain. UGH..



Yes I am see a psychologist so that is covered and he watches me carefully. we are working on this but it is a slow process of which I go backwards to often. It is so frustrating.
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 10, 2009 10:57 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((leona)))
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: May 10, 2009 11:02 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Kevin.... I could use that right about now.
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
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Gidget



Quit Date:
March 14, 2008

Posts: 693
Location: New Haven, CT

PostPosted: May 11, 2009 3:43 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona, I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Like smoking, you seem to be treating the cutting as a gift to yourself. It's a crummy gift (just like smoking). You are special. You have special talents. You are unique. Give others an example of how you should be treated by treating yourself with the respect you have earned. I am so proud of you for sharing such a difficult thing as this. I am also so proud you have been seeing a professional to get assistance beating this.
hugs to you Leona!
Gidget
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My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.
-Elaine Maxwell
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: May 11, 2009 10:40 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Gidget. It is a really hard thing to beat. but I seem to go longer and longer between slips. I have been doing this for a long time and I am told it will take twice as long to get throught the problem of it. Despite what people thing it is more then habit it like smoking is an addiction one that I am wrking on beating. It is slow going and I have some that are on my tail when I do. It is sometimes in great stress that I slip.


Thank you all for caring.
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
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