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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: July 13, 2009 12:24 AM    Post subject: I'm sorry Reply with quote

All of you who remember and support me. I am sorry I haven't been around much I have been trying to get my head straight and it has been a really hard month for me the man I love walked away from me tilling me that I was nothing more then a toy and a play thing that he had used me.; God you can't imgine how tha thurts. then my car breaks down and I am still waiting for that to be fixed.The only thing that has come baout to be a good thing this month is that I now own the property that this trailer is situated upon. Need a new on on it but that will be coming in time with or without the permits this one we live in won't make it through another winder. It is ready to collapse and the county is giving us guff about putting another trailer on. I would liek to see them or anyone live in this hell hole as long as wel have they sure wouldn't be having a cow about having permits if they did.

After 5 years or 63 months that it was on the 11th of July I have thought about having a cigarette. Squashed it almost as soon as it cropped up but hey ... the thought was there. Guess you guys can guess how bad things must be for me to think that way. Those are not the only thoughts I have been having but I won't go into that now or posibley ever. Anyway done venting about theis "horrible :" live I have at least ther eis one to have I guess for what it is....
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: July 13, 2009 5:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

You hang in there Leona...you have come through worse and made it...time heals our wounds and it also gives us time to see things in a new perspective....hugs girl.
Kay
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All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: July 13, 2009 6:01 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((leona)))
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: July 13, 2009 10:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

{{{{{{Hugs Leona}}}}}}
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Essie
4/14/04
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: July 13, 2009 10:56 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stay free!! Life is for living...and you are doing it - keep making the best of it that you can - just take it one day at a time...I'm sorry your heart is broken - what a wrong deal for you - you are too good for someone who can be so hurtful. ((Leona)) - hang in there!!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: July 14, 2009 1:02 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am soo sooo tired peoples. It is so hard to get through this. I am still smoke free even though ti does cross my mind from time to time. The X fiance wants to get back with me and I am anything but interested. In fact it makes me wanna gag. The nights go on for an eternity it seems like and the days are just plain long. I have been reading, learing how to use tarot cards( this is one interesting subjec) and listening to music Within Tempation how I love that band. Sleep hass been so very elusive as of late due to the bad nightmares I have been having and my daughter calling early in the morning v.v But I am taking one step at a time one second at a time. It is very slow and lonely. I crave his harms and kisses and knowing they will nver be there again really tears me up. But I am working on healing or at least the pretense of healing. Anyway I am going to try again for sleep (basically impossible) So I just wanted to check in and say good night dear family
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: July 14, 2009 6:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

hang in there, leona - time heals all wounds...
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: July 14, 2009 11:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find Tarot interesting...I know you will find your way through these dark days....believe in your strength and take life one day at a time...(hang in there)!!!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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jimotter



Quit Date:
November 19, 2003

Posts: 2411
Location: Everett Washington

PostPosted: July 15, 2009 12:50 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona, be strong be tuff, I know you are.
Jim
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Never give up on yourself. We are so worth the effort. Smoking creates nothing but misery for us and those around us. Smoking is socially unacceptable everywhere we go.
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: July 15, 2009 1:07 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is 1:01am here. And here I sit. Wanting to sleep but afraid to do so. The thoughts of smoking for some reason ever present upon my mind. Maybe because the last time I was hurt this bad it was after a beating from my now X husband(yep he is an X for a reason) And I still am so tired. I can't even thing or follow instrucktions from someone I just met on creating a poem. Her ideas sound so interesting so I am goint to try it when I get up tomorrow. I am also so very lonely.

Jim you tell me to hang tuff and that I am ... what I feel is burnt out like the sun has set and forgotten to rise again. Kevin it doesn't really heal them it just puts a scab over them so you don't feel them so much until someone comes along and rips it off again Believe me that has been done to me to many times to count. Mary Tarot is interesting and it is scary at the same time. The reading I did on myself today was a bit eerie

Anyway as I said it is late here and I thought I would just stop by. May the goddess watch over you all. Night everyone.
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 1:30 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Leona, So sorry you have had such heart break. Don’t smoke. It will do nothing to change what is going on and the only thing that will be different in the am is you’ll be a smoker. Look how long your quit has been…don’t have that on your mind too to make you feel bad about yourself. Sorry I haven’t been much support; my life has been a roller ride for a very long time now. Did you see the message I left you on DL? Take care my friend…it will get better. At least that is what everyone told me.Shocked

Sandyz

Fightn4life
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 1:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Sandy things are .... simmering down he and I are talking but tentively cuz well frankly I dn't trust him
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 10:43 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona…I can’t give you advise because this is your journey and you need to chose the path you want. BUT…Please…guard your heart…you have a big one and no one should be walking all over you.

My heart and prayers are with you,

Sandyz
Fightn4life
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 11:57 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh believe me Sandy he has not recaptured my heart well I should say he does have my heart but not the rest of me anymore. I plan on being much more cautious and careful this time around I have made it clear I want nothing more then good freinds at this point in time because I cn no longer trust him. He is a player as they put it and players hurt women.Or men which ever their affiliations. I know this and I knwo what he is so now.... I will just do what I want I will guard my heart and I will guard teh rest of me with it. Thank you for saying I have a big heart and thank your for your notes on DL They gave me the lift I needed today.
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: August 21, 2009 8:00 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona,

When you think of smoking remember how sick a cigarette would make you feel after all this time of not smoking. You are not a smoker so a cigarette would be awful tasting and make you dizzy and such. And you know the how it happens, a puff away from a pack a day. Gaurd you quit with all you've got.

In regards with the boyfriend thing, you wil look back one day and be thankful it is over with that guy and you. Give someone else a chance to love you who will love you as much as you love them.
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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