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Good Lord, this still feels like home (Hi Kevin!)

 
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 1:13 AM    Post subject: Good Lord, this still feels like home (Hi Kevin!) Reply with quote

Wow, I can’t believe I am back on this board. I saw where I came by back when I was living in Florida and had went to work at Disney…I don’t recall that visit. I am sorry. My life was a disaster, I recall so little about that time.

To make a very long story short…my husband and I split up after 18 years of marriage when we were living in Ark. At that time we had been building our dream home for nine years. When we split up I went south he went north. Nine months later we reunited and we moved back to PA.

When we first came back here we were counting change in order to buy gas to get to town. While living in Ark we lost everything we owned, house, job, and credit…health. I had fallen (not workers comp) and it ended my five year factory job. Husband was drinking non-stop…he had his head in the bottle but when his daughter passed it pushed a door open he was leaning on and he became a full blown drinker….day and night. I tried to understand his grief, as I had lost a grandson…but he couldn’t be reached.

None of this really matters to most people…but if you are battling the smokers call then just know nothing that happens in life is reason to smoke.

My husband is a chain smoker, I was a 30-year two pack a day smoker when I first found ALA (I think that was it) A program to help smokers stop smoking. When I completed the program, I found my way to Kevin’s site; there were only a few of us here at that time. This site which I continue to call "home" was my saving grace. I needed a place to kick, stomp, and almost give up a hundred times over…but with support and Kevin’s "Tales"…I couldn’t give up my quit.

I once was so angry at my husband for smoking in the house non-stop, I wrote and told a friend I was “smoking” again…I was so angry at husband I felt as if his second hand smoke was just like me smoking a pack or more a day. The person I told couldn’t believe I was smoking again. (I wasn’t) but she found out the truth when I was back to Florida…she too quit right here with support on Kevin’s site. I dragged her here. We laughed about it many times when sitting at the beach…we were friends back in the 80’s when smoking was cool. Now days for us it is totally un-cool to smoke.

I still have an on-line Blog and I often run a banner that say’s, “you will not see me smoking unless I am on fire.” And many other stop smoking banners. "SMOKING KILL'S!" Everyone that knows me on Diary Land…knows those banners are mine. I have run them for at least 5 years.

My husband is still a chain smoker…but he no longer smokes in the house…that was one battle I won before re-connecting with him. We are now in a nice home, split foyer, and his world is the basement and he has his wood shop in the garage. He often talks about quitting smoking…but, one very hard lesson I learned right here on the boards was…the choice would have to be his, and just because he continued to smoke was not reason for me to start back.

My simple message is…if you want to quit…you can. It is your choice to say, “No!!!” to the inner child inside you that thinks you can’t quit. You can…and no matter what crap life throws at you, no matter how depressed you get, no matter-no matter…if you want to quit YOU CAN! I know this…I have done it.

I had tried to quit for 10 of the 30 years I smoked…the program I went through and this site saved my life. It can save yours too. Just tell yourself you can do it and you will…one step at a time, one day at a time. That’s all.

Hi Kevin…sorry it took me so long to make it over. So much is going on with my new book out. I have my first signing the 27th of this month and another 29th. I am so nervous I can’t think. But…I still don’t want a smoke. I haven’t for a long time. I think about it (I live with a smoker) but recall how hard it was to quit…I tell myself, I don’t want to go through that again.

It was so great to “run” into you in such an odd way…maybe I was supposed to comeback and give back a little of what helped me for so many years. I have once again added this site to my favorites and will make a mental note to stop by at least once a week. Can you believe I never forgot my pass word or user name? Ok…user name I’ll never forget…but pass word when I have so many. WOW…I can not ever-ever forget who helped me through some of my darkest days…and not just from quitting smoking. Thanks Kevin, and everyone on this site…for every thing.

I didn't know if I should post here or inspiration...my life is any thing but an inspiration. Shocked

Sandyz (aka)
(fightn4life)
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 1:16 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy it is so good to see you back after such a long absence my freind. my sister. I completely understand the topsy turvy world we live in can be a roller coaster ride. But now your back and I hope it is to stay. For yes this is HOME.... in so many ways.
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
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jimotter



Quit Date:
November 19, 2003

Posts: 2411
Location: Everett Washington

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 7:14 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

HI SANDY!!!!
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Never give up on yourself. We are so worth the effort. Smoking creates nothing but misery for us and those around us. Smoking is socially unacceptable everywhere we go.
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 9:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Leona, and thank you so much. I saw your post on DL and will answer you when I get back over. I read so many of your posts last night and my heart is with you. Good Lord you have been through so much…and look…you are still smoke free. I am so proud of you.

Hi Jim, Oh my gosh! last night when I stopped over I saw you and the first thing I thought about was your freedom bus. It is so wonderful to see you again. I plan to come back when ever I can to help support this site. (Made a promise to myself I would stop by at least once a week) Now it is the following day. I have so many awesome memories from here and all of them make my quit so special. I still remember the mountain we climbed to have the awesome dinner at the “big” table. Wow…it is like waking up and remembering something so very special.

I hope the new quitters that chose to leave here some day, or stay around to help others, have some great memories to take with them.

See you both real soon.

Sandyz
(fightn4life)
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 10:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Sandy ~ It is so great to see you here! I will look forward to your posts. Welcome home! Smile
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Essie
4/14/04
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 10:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Essie,

It is wonderful to be back. I am making an effort to write something each time I log in. Kevin has some wonderful questions…I plan to answer them all…one day at a time. Just like my quit. I look forward to seeing you more on the boards. Last night I was up until 4 am reading posts and getting reacquainted with the boards.

You look great by the way.

Sandyz
(fightn4life)
_________________

"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: August 17, 2009 10:43 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Sandy ~ So do you!
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Essie
4/14/04
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: August 18, 2009 9:18 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Sandy. I haven't posted for quite a long time -- crazy, busy life right now. I have, however, been "checking in" in order to keep up with my friends.

What a wonderful surprise to see you back AND SMOKE FREE!! Sounds like you've been going through some tough times. Please know that my prayers are with you.

Sandy, you are one of the wonderful woofmang folks who helped me along in the very beginning of my quit and I'll never forget you. This life without cigarettes is so worth the effort of the quit, as you know.

Great to hear from you again. Take care and stay close. Smile
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: August 18, 2009 8:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kannprint…great to see you too and smoke free. Yes I would say I have been through a lot but some how I walked through it all without smoking. I think one of the good things that came from my husbands and my breakup, are now he does not smoke in the house. I always felt like I didn’t really quit because he smoked so much in the house. A friend told me that one day. But when we got back together a promise he made me was he would keep the house smoke free. So far he has not gone back on his word. I don’t think he will.

I am so glad I was a help to you during your quit…I think everyone here helped me so much…even the “newbie’s” their stories always reminded me how much I struggled with my quit. I just don’t want to go through that again.

Thanks for responding…I almost feel like a stranger. When I logged on there were 911 people on this site. How awesome is that. I hope most all quit and stayed quit.

Sandyz
Fightn4life
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: August 19, 2009 6:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, you seem to be making up for lost time, sandy - i've already seen about a half dozen posts from you in the boards above this one - welcome home! glad to hear things are going well, and that you're a published author now - how cool is that? Very Happy
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: August 20, 2009 9:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Kevin, it is hard to believe I finally did some thing right with my life. (Only kidding) In truth, it was very important for me to try and help others get through devastating times of loss. I knew I had to write that book.

Now I feel I should stop back here and help others that are struggling through the quit process. Every time someone reaches back through the darkness for me…I believe I should reach back myself…we never know when something we say or do out of kindness might be the straw that keeps the camels back from breaking. I never give up hope for anyone, not even myself.

Thanks for the welcome back Kevin.

Sandyz
Fightn4life
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: August 21, 2009 11:04 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smile
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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