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Keep me in your thoughts

 
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 13, 2010 4:19 AM    Post subject: Keep me in your thoughts Reply with quote

I am leaving Mi to go to Va on the 22nd of February to go see the man I fell so deeply in love with. Not all of you if any of you know the story but he ... he has turned ot to be more of a toad then a prince. I have known him for going on 4 years now and in those 4 years he has been friend and lover. But he has also been abuser. Not a physical abuser but a mental one. Me bieng so use to being abused ...let him. But now I am no in love with him anymore or at least it doesn't feel that way any more. He has hurt me to many times for to long. So now I take my last trip to Va and see him for the last time... Afterwards in my mind I will be saying goodbye and letting him slip away into the darkness. That will be another chapter in my life closing. And I am reluctant to begin a new one. So for now the book will remain closed and on the shelf.

Have I wanted to smoke through this... yes and no. it would of been preferable to that which I did put into my mouth(food) and the depression that overtakes someone especialy at this kind of a time. But do I really want to go back to smoking after working so hard to get away from it? No I don't... I don't want to put another one of those nasty smellling and tasting things in my mouth again.


Anyway I am just stopping by and saying hello and lettin gyou all know what is going on in my life right now. Also I have been busy with my new "job" as a volunteer greeter over at AllPoety I love it there and I have goten so many of my feelings out there. Entered contests made new friends. And the poetry that I read well some of it is damn amazing and others well lest not go there. YOu al lget a chance stop by and say hi or read some pretty awesome poetry. My user anme on there is Maili Knephthan Great seeing you all again. I will stop by from time to time.

Leona
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Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 13, 2010 10:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona, be careful in Virginia. I pray that you'll be able to close this chapter in your book. He really is not good for you.

From what you wrote, your life is so much happier now than it was in the past and your involvement with poetry is very restoring.

Hang in there and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
November 19, 2001

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: February 13, 2010 11:15 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

great to see you, leona - be safe on your trip and glad to hear that you're enjoying your new "job". Smile
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the quit guru
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: February 14, 2010 1:12 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Take care, be careful, guard your heart....safe travels to you Leona.
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 14, 2010 9:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all. I will be careful in Virginia. As much as I loved it there it is going to be a clsed chapter in my life.... My heart has been hurt enough and it is time to end it. I will Always love him but now it will be as a memory. A sweet and sour memory. I will be meeing another "friend" there one that I met on line as well but he is a good freind even though he is way younger and he is more then honest with me he is just a firend who I have turend to many times for help and someone to listen to me. But the other guy is goign to be a part of my history... Who knows what or if I am going to get involved ever again... Don't really feell like it. Tired of constantly being abused and hurt or ignored.
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: February 15, 2010 10:01 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're in my thoughts Leona, be careful! ((((Hugs))))
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Essie
4/14/04
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: February 21, 2010 2:21 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona,

I'm glad you like your new job as a greeter. It is so hard to let someone you love go even though that person is bad for you. I've been there with my ex husband so I can relate. You can do it though as you are a strong person. You quit smoking didn't you? Keep that positive attitude about not snoking too.
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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