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Craves, Anger, and the ever-redundant rant...

 
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bigdaddyscds



Quit Date:
May 13, 2004

Posts: 562
Location: San Angelo, Texas USA

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 4:56 PM    Post subject: Craves, Anger, and the ever-redundant rant... Reply with quote

I know, I know this is ground that has been covered a hundred times actually the last two rants previous to me are the same thing but I need to get it off my chest before jailtime becomes a reality for injury to innocent people that happen to be at arms length. I have rocked along with a quit that I have been proud of. First quit ever in 30+ years of smoking. Had never even thought about quitting before but just like the rest of us that one day the right things clicked and I knew it was time. I worked the modules at ffs religiously, slowly, and did everything I was supposed to, made my lists, posted, read read read, went to whyquit.com, was trying to be the good obedient student. Prayed daily for the strength to achieve my goal and for all the people I had read and met on the boards to achieve their's as well. Quit day came and it went EXACTLY as it was supposed to, or at least how I was told it would go. I was ready with all the tools I was supposed to have and it worked. There have been craves but they were nothing mind-breaking and I chanted over and over it will pass smoke or no smoke and all was well. The craves slowed down in frequncy and in intensity and I figured it was going to be easier. Now I have had a few days like today where the craves just kick my ass! It leaves me a bit confused. Don't get me wrong I know that my quit has been a blessing compared to some I've read and I know that I am lucky and I am still and will still be smoke free but when I am feeling like this I feel like it is day two all over again. It pisses me off!!! I am not trying to be a whiney little butthead I just don't want to worry about it anymore. these day-long craves drive me NUTS!!! Allison had posted a great post to me once that the newness had worn off, the excitement was wearing down and we become a little cmplacement and even let our guard down some. I think she's right and while I know I'll never smoke again it just gets old to the point where you go is it all worth it? I'll be better soon if not some already but I had to get this written down while I was feeling it. Thank you for you indulgence of my ravings.
John
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Snowlover



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 566
Location: Northern California

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 5:18 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good going John,
I had the same thoughts at the same point in my quit. You just wish you could have a moment's peace. You wish you didn't have to think about the whole thing for a few hours and not be worried that Laughing Demon would get you while you weren't looking.

Well, I wish you PEACE now. This kinda depressing mood will pass too.

K
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 5:39 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear John,

Thanks for the post. I'm about a month behind you and feeling really well; having few problems with my quit. However, after reading what you and Snowlover wrote as well as a post today from Tom, I'll be on the look-out for a few bad days in the future.

Sure hope you're feeling better. Even at our lowest point, it is well worth the effort to quit. Hang in with it. You sure don't want to go through the first few days again.

Living free for 3M, 1D, 20H, 10M and loving it.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 9:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

good rant, John! not the least bit whiney Smile

nobody blames you for being pissed; it's a tough thing you're doing, and it really is a rollercoaster. some days you're gonna be the windshield, other days you're gonna be the bug. it does smooth out, though; it just takes time.

hang in there, buddy, and rant whenever you like; this forum has sound-proof walls Cool
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 9:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

John, you're doing fabulous!!! I can't tell you how much I admire people who've NEVER tried to quit and then just do it!! You need to know how powerful that is. It IS hard, and it IS a rollercoaster but you will get thru it. We all will. Best of luck John. Please keep posting. Your rant was the best. Kerry
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bigdaddyscds



Quit Date:
May 13, 2004

Posts: 562
Location: San Angelo, Texas USA

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 10:59 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Thanks guys. As always your comments are always the right medicine at the right time. I try not to be impatient but sometimes.... y'all all know!
Blessings to all,
John
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hotsue



Quit Date:
April 27, 2004

Posts: 41
Location: Boise, Idaho

PostPosted: July 13, 2004 1:26 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sitting here crying! I came here to wish you CONGRATS on 2 months, and saw your message. I know it is hard! I had a hard day today as well, and thought of you. I keep thinking, "I need to be strong and tough so I can encourage John and who ever else may need a helping hand" And, I have seen your hand extended to help others as well!

You have done so well! I am sure you will help others! Kiss your boy!
Best wishes!
Sue
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hotsue



Quit Date:
April 27, 2004

Posts: 41
Location: Boise, Idaho

PostPosted: July 13, 2004 2:05 AM    Post subject: YES!!! Reply with quote

You did it!!!
2 months is great!!!! You are one tough guy! You are one great Dad! You are one loving husband! You are one super guy! You are one good quit friend and one extra good human being!
So glad you are with me on this journey!
Sue
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bjj



Quit Date:
April 7, 2004

Posts: 1056
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: July 13, 2004 2:38 AM    Post subject: Re: Craves, Anger, and the ever-redundant rant... Reply with quote

"I know, I know this is ground that has been covered a hundred times"
It has been covered a hundred times because it is so true. When we think things are getting better, the craves either hit strongly again, or just linger there in the background, driving you crazy because they won't GO AWAY! Then the questions start, Why am I doing this to myself? Why don't I just smoke?, etc.
Addiction is very insidious and very seductive. Did you ever see the old HBO special with Richard Pryor after he was burned from free basing crack? He said he could hear the pipe talking to him, calling him. "Richard, you need me. Richard I am your only true friend. Richard only Ican make you feel better. Richard I will make you feel good. Richard no one understands you like I do." It was a very poignant and powerful monologue. Many of you are too young to have seen it, or even know who Richard Pryor is, but he was a talented, conflicted, angry comedian who wrecked his life with drugs. I know that no matter how much nicotine calls to us, we will not answer. We will not let that drug destroy us.
_________________

Bonnie

"Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so".
Emile Coue
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merry



Quit Date:
August 15, 2003

Posts: 167
Location: Liberty Missouri

PostPosted: July 14, 2004 12:01 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel for you. I remember those days oh too well. But I promise you it will get better as the months go by. I remember being so pissed off that it was still so hard. The best medicine for me was just to get busy doing something, anything to take my mind off Laughing Demon And of course to come to the boards for support. Have you tried chewing gum? It works for me (and keeps me from eating too much sometimes)...my favorite is Orbit Wintermint or Peppermint.

And now, aaaaaahhhhhh, life is good! You will get there, you're doing great!
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Mary
Q/D: August 15, 2003
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: July 14, 2004 1:14 AM    Post subject: I remember... Reply with quote

John...I remember those days. I would get so angry and wonder when will this stop!!!

Some times I would just cry. It does get better...the craves get farther apart and one day you will be heading into a night and think...not one crave today.

Ever so often I get a strong crave out of the blue. I go with it and pray it's the last one. They are different now. Just a thought crave not a physical... I am going to smash someone/thing if it doesn't end crave.

It's a long journey...but so worth the trip.

Sandyz
Eight months, two weeks, six days, 8 hours, 11 minutes and 59 seconds. 11895 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,623.71. Life saved: 5 weeks, 6 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes.
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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