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bigdaddyscds
Quit Date: May 13, 2004
Posts: 562 Location: San Angelo, Texas USA
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Posted: July 12, 2004 4:56 PM Post subject: Craves, Anger, and the ever-redundant rant... |
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I know, I know this is ground that has been covered a hundred times actually the last two rants previous to me are the same thing but I need to get it off my chest before jailtime becomes a reality for injury to innocent people that happen to be at arms length. I have rocked along with a quit that I have been proud of. First quit ever in 30+ years of smoking. Had never even thought about quitting before but just like the rest of us that one day the right things clicked and I knew it was time. I worked the modules at ffs religiously, slowly, and did everything I was supposed to, made my lists, posted, read read read, went to whyquit.com, was trying to be the good obedient student. Prayed daily for the strength to achieve my goal and for all the people I had read and met on the boards to achieve their's as well. Quit day came and it went EXACTLY as it was supposed to, or at least how I was told it would go. I was ready with all the tools I was supposed to have and it worked. There have been craves but they were nothing mind-breaking and I chanted over and over it will pass smoke or no smoke and all was well. The craves slowed down in frequncy and in intensity and I figured it was going to be easier. Now I have had a few days like today where the craves just kick my ass! It leaves me a bit confused. Don't get me wrong I know that my quit has been a blessing compared to some I've read and I know that I am lucky and I am still and will still be smoke free but when I am feeling like this I feel like it is day two all over again. It pisses me off!!! I am not trying to be a whiney little butthead I just don't want to worry about it anymore. these day-long craves drive me NUTS!!! Allison had posted a great post to me once that the newness had worn off, the excitement was wearing down and we become a little cmplacement and even let our guard down some. I think she's right and while I know I'll never smoke again it just gets old to the point where you go is it all worth it? I'll be better soon if not some already but I had to get this written down while I was feeling it. Thank you for you indulgence of my ravings.
John |
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Snowlover
Quit Date: -
Posts: 566 Location: Northern California
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Posted: July 12, 2004 5:18 PM Post subject: |
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Good going John,
I had the same thoughts at the same point in my quit. You just wish you could have a moment's peace. You wish you didn't have to think about the whole thing for a few hours and not be worried that would get you while you weren't looking.
Well, I wish you PEACE now. This kinda depressing mood will pass too.
K |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: July 12, 2004 5:39 PM Post subject: |
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Dear John,
Thanks for the post. I'm about a month behind you and feeling really well; having few problems with my quit. However, after reading what you and Snowlover wrote as well as a post today from Tom, I'll be on the look-out for a few bad days in the future.
Sure hope you're feeling better. Even at our lowest point, it is well worth the effort to quit. Hang in with it. You sure don't want to go through the first few days again.
Living free for 3M, 1D, 20H, 10M and loving it. _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: July 12, 2004 9:08 PM Post subject: |
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good rant, John! not the least bit whiney
nobody blames you for being pissed; it's a tough thing you're doing, and it really is a rollercoaster. some days you're gonna be the windshield, other days you're gonna be the bug. it does smooth out, though; it just takes time.
hang in there, buddy, and rant whenever you like; this forum has sound-proof walls _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Kerry
Quit Date: May 4, 2004
Posts: 862 Location: Illinois
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Posted: July 12, 2004 9:37 PM Post subject: |
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John, you're doing fabulous!!! I can't tell you how much I admire people who've NEVER tried to quit and then just do it!! You need to know how powerful that is. It IS hard, and it IS a rollercoaster but you will get thru it. We all will. Best of luck John. Please keep posting. Your rant was the best. Kerry |
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bigdaddyscds
Quit Date: May 13, 2004
Posts: 562 Location: San Angelo, Texas USA
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Posted: July 12, 2004 10:59 PM Post subject: |
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Hey Thanks guys. As always your comments are always the right medicine at the right time. I try not to be impatient but sometimes.... y'all all know!
Blessings to all,
John |
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hotsue
Quit Date: April 27, 2004
Posts: 41 Location: Boise, Idaho
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Posted: July 13, 2004 1:26 AM Post subject: |
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I am sitting here crying! I came here to wish you CONGRATS on 2 months, and saw your message. I know it is hard! I had a hard day today as well, and thought of you. I keep thinking, "I need to be strong and tough so I can encourage John and who ever else may need a helping hand" And, I have seen your hand extended to help others as well!
You have done so well! I am sure you will help others! Kiss your boy!
Best wishes!
Sue |
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hotsue
Quit Date: April 27, 2004
Posts: 41 Location: Boise, Idaho
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Posted: July 13, 2004 2:05 AM Post subject: YES!!! |
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You did it!!!
2 months is great!!!! You are one tough guy! You are one great Dad! You are one loving husband! You are one super guy! You are one good quit friend and one extra good human being!
So glad you are with me on this journey!
Sue |
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bjj
Quit Date: April 7, 2004
Posts: 1056 Location: Ohio
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Posted: July 13, 2004 2:38 AM Post subject: Re: Craves, Anger, and the ever-redundant rant... |
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"I know, I know this is ground that has been covered a hundred times"
It has been covered a hundred times because it is so true. When we think things are getting better, the craves either hit strongly again, or just linger there in the background, driving you crazy because they won't GO AWAY! Then the questions start, Why am I doing this to myself? Why don't I just smoke?, etc.
Addiction is very insidious and very seductive. Did you ever see the old HBO special with Richard Pryor after he was burned from free basing crack? He said he could hear the pipe talking to him, calling him. "Richard, you need me. Richard I am your only true friend. Richard only Ican make you feel better. Richard I will make you feel good. Richard no one understands you like I do." It was a very poignant and powerful monologue. Many of you are too young to have seen it, or even know who Richard Pryor is, but he was a talented, conflicted, angry comedian who wrecked his life with drugs. I know that no matter how much nicotine calls to us, we will not answer. We will not let that drug destroy us. _________________
Bonnie
"Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so".
Emile Coue |
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merry
Quit Date: August 15, 2003
Posts: 167 Location: Liberty Missouri
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Posted: July 14, 2004 12:01 AM Post subject: |
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I feel for you. I remember those days oh too well. But I promise you it will get better as the months go by. I remember being so pissed off that it was still so hard. The best medicine for me was just to get busy doing something, anything to take my mind off And of course to come to the boards for support. Have you tried chewing gum? It works for me (and keeps me from eating too much sometimes)...my favorite is Orbit Wintermint or Peppermint.
And now, aaaaaahhhhhh, life is good! You will get there, you're doing great! _________________
Mary
Q/D: August 15, 2003 |
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Fightn4life
Quit Date: October 23, 2003
Posts: 1573 Location: Loysburg, PA
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Posted: July 14, 2004 1:14 AM Post subject: I remember... |
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John...I remember those days. I would get so angry and wonder when will this stop!!!
Some times I would just cry. It does get better...the craves get farther apart and one day you will be heading into a night and think...not one crave today.
Ever so often I get a strong crave out of the blue. I go with it and pray it's the last one. They are different now. Just a thought crave not a physical... I am going to smash someone/thing if it doesn't end crave.
It's a long journey...but so worth the trip.
Sandyz
Eight months, two weeks, six days, 8 hours, 11 minutes and 59 seconds. 11895 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,623.71. Life saved: 5 weeks, 6 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes. _________________
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
~Anonymous |
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