quit smoking support @ woofmang.com
people helping people beat the addiction to nicotine
 
help support our communityDonate FAQFAQ SearchSearch RSS FeedRSS Feed MemberlistMemberlist RegisterRegister ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in

A wish

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > just for fun
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: July 22, 2004 11:30 AM    Post subject: A wish Reply with quote

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up and rubbed it, and 'low-and-behold' a genie appeared!


The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"


The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."


The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."


The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That is what I wish for - a good man."


The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that damn map again."
_________________

Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: July 23, 2004 6:35 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona, you have inspired me. I loved your joke. Laughing Laughing I came across this and thought perhaps it would be the right forum to post it.


Subject: A Letter To Tide

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best.

Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of blood on my white blouse. I had run out of Tide and tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

Making a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid
Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well that the detectives
who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative. Then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband!

What a relief. I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Signed,

A relieved, menopausal wife
_________________

Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: July 23, 2004 4:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tonya


Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy


Three months, one week, five days, 5 hours, 31 minutes and 6 seconds. 4129 cigarettes not smoked, saving $712.29. Life saved: 2 weeks, 8 hours, 5 minutes.
_________________

Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: July 25, 2004 3:11 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, you two. When and where can we see the Leona and Tonya Stand-Up Act? Both were great and gave me my laugh of the day.


---
3m 2w 17:40 smoke-free, 2,956 cigs not smoked, $571.84 saved, 1w 3d 6:20 life saved
_________________

LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > just for fun All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

quit smoking support
woofmang dot com