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Rach
Quit Date: February 7, 2004
Posts: 270 Location: Illinois
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Posted: July 26, 2004 8:28 PM Post subject: The Dreaded "C" Word |
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I just wanted to share where I am today...
A month ago, I had a mole removed. Long story short, it was melanoma. Early melanoma, but melanoma nonetheless. So Friday, I went in to have more skin cut out (to be sure there are no abnormal cells lurking about). The dermatologist showed me what the incision would look like and then informed me that afterward he was sending me to the lab for a complete blood work up and chest x-ray!
I panicked. I told him that scared me. He told me that it was only a precaution to be sure there was nothing else going on related to the melanoma. He assured me that in the 14 years of his practice, he had never seen anyone with a case like mine that was anywhere else. He told me not to lose sleep. He told me not to worry. Yeah, right. He said I could call on Monday for the results.
So, I lost sleep AND I worried. I told my husband how worried I was and he reminded me that the doc had said not to worry, it would be fine...and if DOC was saying it, there must not be a reason to worry. I kept thinking "Doc doesn't know how long and how much I used to smoke." It wasn't the melanoma I was worried about. Everything I read, etc. indicated that it is 100% curable in the very early stages, which is what I had. It was that blasted chest x-ray! All this time during the quit I haven't allowed myself to think that the damage had already been done, that there MIGHT be cancer already in my lungs...
I thought. I ran 100 scenarios in my head. How would I deal with this? If it is cancer, how will I tell my family and friends? How will this affect my children? Will I survive? I'm afraid to die. I'm too young to die. My children need me. I haven't finished living yet. I'm scared. I want out of this body. I don't want anyone to know. I don't want anyone's pity. How awful is cancer treatment? I just need to know. If only I knew for sure, then I could start coping. And most importantly, even if this is my death sentence, I WILL NOT SMOKE. I will not allow those cancer sticks to deprive me of one more second of the life I have left.
So, I talked to the doc this afternoon and he said: "Chest xray is normal. Normal, Normal, Normal. Blood work is normal too. You're fine, just like I said you'd be. Go celebrate."
PHEW! I mean, I feel like I have a new lease on life. Seriously. So, I've got this lofty aspiration now to run a marathon. Just typing the words looks ridiculous to me. I've wanted to get into shape (stamina and strength-wise) for a long time. This is just the reason to do it.
I wanted to share this story because I needed to get it out for one. I also want to promote the whole "early detection" thing with any health related issue (scary though it may be, it could save your life). And, most importantly, to let you all know that I didn't even CONSIDER smoking...no matter what the outcome would have been.
I'm thanking God for all of the blessings he has bestowed on me... _________________
Rach
Three Years and counting |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: July 26, 2004 10:03 PM Post subject: |
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glad to hear it, Rach!
and i agree 100%; better to know sooner rather than later... _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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ms_tapestry
Quit Date: October 21, 2009
Posts: 2574 Location: Seminole, TX
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Posted: July 27, 2004 5:21 AM Post subject: |
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Rach, I thank the Good Lord you found it in time. This is great news. I understand the panic thing. My mother died of ovarian cancer and every time I have a problem I am completely sure it's the BIG ONE. It is so encouraging that you did not even consider smoking. It gives me hope! Thanks for sharing. _________________
Tonya
You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: July 27, 2004 10:01 AM Post subject: |
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Dear Rach,
I thank God and thank Him again for your wonderful test results. I would have been putting myself through the same scenario you did; all the what if's. Why do we do this to ourselves?
My last chest x-ray was when I was in the ER in March. I, too, was scared about the results; hadn't had one for years. Being in the ER, though, we got the results immediately so I didn't have time to build all the "what if's." Thank God, mine too was normal.
Now you can prepare to run that marathon if you wish. You're obviously not going to give in to or you would have crumbled while going through this series of tests and worry.
---
3m 2w 2d 12:30 smoke-free, 3,002 cigs not smoked, $580.74 saved, 1w 3d 10:10 life saved _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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Mindy
Quit Date: -
Posts: 1074
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Posted: July 28, 2004 9:14 PM Post subject: |
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Rach,
I worry about that type of thing too...I also had a mole removed a few years ago...it turned out to be benign though (thank goodness), but it is a very scary situation to be in. I am so glad you are ok!!! I am happy to see you on the boards again also-- |
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Braveheart
Quit Date: January 2, 2004
Posts: 105 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: July 29, 2004 2:54 PM Post subject: |
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Hi Rach,
All doctors tell you not to worry, and they know we will anyway. I just went through all that, but I wasn't so lucky. I had a spot on my lung and after a pet scan and ct scan, it was identified as calcified. I still go for ct scans. I don't know how many, but I will eventually get to do just chest x-rays.
We smokers all have that FEAR of the Chest X-Ray!! We have always known what we were doing to our bodies, we just buried our heads like the old ostrich. I don't wish that fear on anyone, the waiting is grueling.
Hell, at my age, I have all kinds of places to look for cancer. I think they want every test after you turn 50. My next stop is the dermatologist. Guess I haven't gotten my full share of worry yet. heh heh
I'm so glad you were worrying for nothing and everything is fine.
Connie _________________
"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" (Eleanor Roosevelt) |
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Rach
Quit Date: February 7, 2004
Posts: 270 Location: Illinois
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Posted: July 29, 2004 3:00 PM Post subject: |
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Braveheart:
Yes!! That darn chest xray had me in fits!! What does "calcified" mean? Is that good? Forgive my ignorance, I'm just interested. Now that I've been given the green light, I'm feeling very grateful. _________________
Rach
Three Years and counting |
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Braveheart
Quit Date: January 2, 2004
Posts: 105 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: July 29, 2004 4:58 PM Post subject: |
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Rach,
Calsified means it has gotten hard and therefore benign. I had a couple more on my second CT scan, and I asked my doctor what they could be cause by. He started naming things and came to fungus.... like Histoplasmosis and some others. I latched on to the Histo., because we live in the Ohio Valley and this is a common fungus in these parts. I have raked tons of leaves through the last 15 years, as we live in the country and have lots woods in our yard. You get Histoplasmosis from bird droppings, UGH! as in raking dried leaves.
I will be taking another scan in a few months, but I just decided I would believe that is what is causing these benign spots, just makes me feel better. All I can do now is take the scans and be watchful. After this year, I will go back to Chest X-Rays.
Connie _________________
"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" (Eleanor Roosevelt) |
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bjj
Quit Date: April 7, 2004
Posts: 1056 Location: Ohio
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Posted: July 30, 2004 1:01 AM Post subject: |
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Rach,
I am behind on my reading and just saw this. WHEW! What a relief that the melanoma was caught early, and the x-ray was normal. I had a precancerous leison removed in my mouth 10 years ago. I was told the main cause was smoking. I still smoked until recently. Thank God, no new leisons. Addicts have to be a little insane! _________________
Bonnie
"Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so".
Emile Coue |
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Carol
Quit Date: December 9, 2009
Posts: 631 Location: Wisconsin
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Posted: July 30, 2004 7:23 PM Post subject: |
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Oh Rach I just saw your post. Thank God all is normal, and that the melanoma was caught early. Wouldn't you just love to punch doctors that say "Don't worry". Sure they have seen these things hundreds of times and therefore think we should just take their word for it. But as I told my obstetrician when I had my third son. "You may have delivered 2000 babies but you have never had one, so don't tell me it's not that bad." (obviously was a male doctor). Point being until it happens to you don't tell me not to worry. You would not be sending me for tests if there was not some reason to worry.
But God is good and he was with you every step of the way. Praise the Lord. _________________
WALK TALL WALK PROUD
CAROL |
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Kerry
Quit Date: May 4, 2004
Posts: 862 Location: Illinois
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Posted: August 1, 2004 7:48 PM Post subject: |
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That was great. I can't even begin to tell you what you've done for me. Thanks, Kerry |
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Rach
Quit Date: February 7, 2004
Posts: 270 Location: Illinois
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Posted: August 1, 2004 8:38 PM Post subject: |
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Wow! Thank you ALL for your kind words and for sharing my joy with me. It's wonderful to have a place to come and share these things and have so many understand PRECISELY how I'm feeling. You're awesome! THANK YOU!! _________________
Rach
Three Years and counting |
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