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Mindy
Quit Date: -
Posts: 1074
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Posted: April 19, 2004 9:27 PM Post subject: Bad day... |
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OK...I've had another...Yes another bad day. I had such a need for that one cigarette that was going to make me feel so much better and take all my troubles and worries away, so I went out and bought a pack of cigarettes. NO, I haven't smoked. I don't want to, but my mind keeps telling me how much better I'll feel. Yeah I may feel better ...at least until I would have to come to terms with everything and face myself in the morning. Then I'd be beating myself up for days and days on end....just because of one damn cigarette. This is so unfair.
I have been so irritable lately....and it's causing my to not think straight if that makes any sense. Maybe it's finally setting in that I am not a smoker and that I can't smoke. I get angry about that...real angry.
I had to vent. Thanks for listening. Mindy
Three months, one week, 20 hours, 25 minutes and 35 seconds. 3954 cigarettes not smoked, saving $691.66. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 17 hours, 30 minutes. |
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Carol
Quit Date: December 9, 2009
Posts: 631 Location: Wisconsin
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Posted: April 19, 2004 9:47 PM Post subject: |
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Mindy
Where is that pack of cigarettes you bought. If you have them near, Mindy , you have got to get rid of them RIGHT NOW. Minday you have 3 1/2 months of smoke free living. I know you are having a rough time. But what are the postives you have gotten from not smoking. Sit down write them down....I know there are many. I have only 5 weeks and I have gained SO much from being smoke free those 5 weeks....so I am sure you have many many more. I know you know all this stuff...but when the desire for a cigarette gets really strong it clouds our thinkings
Remember you do have the option to smoke....if that is what you want to do. You wrote that you can't smoke....that's not true ...you can. But you know if you do that the decision is being made by the addiction in you, not by the smart, self-caring, strong and courageous Mindy. It is up to you, which part will make the decision. I pray that youwill choose not to smoke today.
Whatever is happening....you know....this too will pass
PLEASE CHOOSE LIFE MINDY PLEASE _________________
WALK TALL WALK PROUD
CAROL |
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Rach
Quit Date: February 7, 2004
Posts: 270 Location: Illinois
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Posted: April 19, 2004 10:11 PM Post subject: Mindy |
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A smoke really wouldn't make you feel better. First of all, it would taste DISGUSTING and we ALL know that part of satiating that crave/withdrawl is the taste. So no luck there. You'd probably feel light-headed, which does you no good at this point in your life since you have to be "on" all the time as mom. You'd smell bad...and you'd REALLY notice. Think about how bad someone smells to you right now that smokes. Now imagine that in your hair, on your HANDS, and clothes. Yuck. The kids sure wouldn't be wanting kisses from THAT mouth. Finally, you think you're mad NOW...just imagine how pissed off you'd be at YOURSELF for blowing this quit that you've worked so hard at. Clearly, you don't want a cig.
It sounds like you feel like you're being deprived of something that once gave you what you perceived as "comfort" when you we're having a hard time. Let's review: you were withdrawing and would have a smoke to bring the nic levels back up to level in your body. You were not receiving comfort for a bad day, argument with hubby, or kids driving you nuts. It was a way for you to get 5 minutes to yourself...and taking away 5 minutes from things that you enjoy more.
This relearning thing sux...I agree. I miss what I perceived as a comfort to me and sometimes I feel like I have nothing to turn to that is "mine". However, I hated smoking whe I did it and it didn't feel at all like it belonged to me (the way my quit does). I was a slave to it (because I was addicted).
So here's the thing: I've found that my life is bigger than a damn cigarette. I might get frustrated with the kids because they're just being rotten one day. That doesn't have anything to do with smoking. There are lots of moms who have never smoked who experience this and cope. They probably get frustrated just like I do, but they cope and go on.
Mindy, I know you have worked very hard for this quit. You've also had a lot of encouraging words for others. Don't lose sight of why you're here and why you've made this choice. You CAN and ARE doing this! Hang in there! _________________
Rach
Three Years and counting |
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cherkohn
Quit Date: March 15, 2004
Posts: 107 Location: Illinois, USA
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Posted: April 19, 2004 10:40 PM Post subject: |
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Keep that quit!! If you think today was a bad day, imagine all the bad days to come if you start smoking again!! Maybe, you will quit again. And have to go through the first week, and the second week again. Maybe you won't quit again. Maybe you will just have a steady cough. Maybe you will have more serious problems - cancer, emphysema, stroke, heart attack. Talk about bad days.
Whether you smoke or not, you will have bad days. Smoking will almost guarantee that you have more bad days than if you don't smoke. |
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Tammy
Quit Date: February 16, 2004
Posts: 2565 Location: Florida
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Posted: April 19, 2004 10:56 PM Post subject: |
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Mindy, Mindy, Mindy, What in the world happened? Get rid of those cigarettes NOW! You are surely not thinking of throwing ths quit away are you? and for what a dad day? You have gotten so upset at times for different ones relapsing. Don't you dare become one of them. You have worked so hard. You know that the urge to smoke will pass whether you light up or not. You know that the nicotine is all out of your body and your battle right now is with the old junkie thinking. PLEASE, PLEASE DON"T SMOKE! _________________
Tammy
Free and loving it! |
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Zuzu
Quit Date: -
Posts: 962 Location: Marin
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Posted: April 19, 2004 11:22 PM Post subject: |
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Mindy-
Wow. I hope you tossed the pack.
For myself I don't think it's the end of the world if I relapse. I really don't. If that's what you're going to do, it doesn't mean you're a bad person or that you have some big defect of character. It's just a choice - that's all - a choice among many choices.
I hope that you choose not to smoke. I wish you strength to make that choice - because I know that's what you want, ultimately.
This will pass. Consider taking a shower, buying yourself some cake, renting a DVD, going to bed early - falling asleep watching the DVD! You've done an incredible job with this quit, Mindy... a text book inspiration. Thanks for being!
-Zuzu |
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alison
Quit Date: June 3, 2003
Posts: 751 Location: Next Stop, Michigan
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Posted: April 19, 2004 11:25 PM Post subject: |
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Mindy,
I don't know what is happening in your life but what could possibly be made better by you smoking? Thats like saying "my life sucks right now so I'll slice my foot off". I know it doesn't seem that way but smoking is just as helpful as removing your foot. Have a good cry, eat a little chocolate, call a good friend and complain but sweetie DON'T SMOKE.
Get rid of the cigarettes. Go read Kevins "The threes" I swear we all seem to implode at one month and three. You will get past this and it will get better. It's just a bad day, and as bad as it may be smoking will not make it better.
Hold on Honey, you can get through this. _________________
I wish you peace.
alison |
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Zuzu
Quit Date: -
Posts: 962 Location: Marin
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Posted: April 19, 2004 11:33 PM Post subject: |
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Oh.. see, Alison's idea about the chocolate is a particularly good one.. don't mind if I do (grin).
-Zuzu |
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jahunta
Quit Date: -
Posts: 1129 Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA
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Posted: April 20, 2004 8:48 AM Post subject: Mindy |
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Hi Mindy,
I'm so very happy and proud of you that you didn't smoke....but I didn't see anything in that post that made any reference to getting them out of your house, and your way...Keeping those things around, at least for me, would be a purposeful setup for something that it seems you really don't want to do...smoke! I hope you have since given them away, or destroyed them in some way, shape or form. The impoortant part is that you didn't give in...but don't keep those things around long...You've got a hell fo a quit under your belt to throw it all away...
Juanita _________________
Quitting is Living!!!
QD: 2/15/04 |
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lbuz
Quit Date: May 29, 2007
Posts: 254 Location: New York
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Posted: April 20, 2004 8:57 AM Post subject: |
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Remember that there is no "Just one cigarette" we are all a puff away from a pack a day!!! Toss em out and go celebrate with a nice hot fudge sundae with real whip cream and nuts (sorry I'm on a diet and I need to live through someone else eating habits right now) _________________
Lisa |
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law_girl_1969
Quit Date: -
Posts: 626 Location: Freeburg, Illinois
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Posted: April 20, 2004 9:30 AM Post subject: |
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Mindy dear - you've got mail!! _________________
Lynn
"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford |
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Pamela
Quit Date: -
Posts: 3542 Location: Gardiner, NY
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Posted: April 20, 2004 10:24 AM Post subject: No |
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If you smoke, I swear I'll cry my head off! Don't _________________
FIVE + years of freedom and loving it! |
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Mindy
Quit Date: -
Posts: 1074
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Posted: April 20, 2004 6:52 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks to everyone who resonded and sent words of encouragement. I did not smoke and the cigarettes went down the toilet last night. I think I am going through the terrible threes...at least I'm hoping so. I know I would be hating myself today if I had smoked. I hate bargaining with the devil/nicodemon over thoes damn cigarettes. I absolutely hate it...I am taking this one day at a time and not getting too ahead of myself. Also I'm trying not to be too hard on myself any more. I really need to take time out of my busy life and take care of myself a bit.
I feel wonderful physically since I quit smoking. I have come too far to turn back now. I know that deep in my heart. I am ever so thankful for all of you,
Mindy
Three months, one week, one day, 17 hours, 51 minutes and 18 seconds. 3989 cigarettes not smoked, saving $697.91. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 20 hours, 25 minutes.
Nicotine Free************* |
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Kissimee
Quit Date: -
Posts: 772 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: April 20, 2004 11:18 PM Post subject: |
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Good for you, Mindy!
just keep swimming...just keep swimming _________________
I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.
~Tracy
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