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And the saga continues......

 
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Carol



Quit Date:
December 9, 2009

Posts: 631
Location: Wisconsin

PostPosted: August 12, 2004 8:28 PM    Post subject: And the saga continues...... Reply with quote

I have changed forums to post this as I no longer feel like smoking, but since several of you asked me to keep you updated, I thought I would do just that. Thus ,the continuation of "My life is falling apart and I want to smoke" entry in the Staying Quit forum
I spoke with my son today.....no not in person, on the phone. As our daughter in law could not figure out why she was being excluded from coming to lunch with us. My response to that was that if she was going to be there to present her side, that my husband should be there as well.
So we had to discuss this all on the phone.
Bob (my hubby) suggested all four of us meet and get everything out in the open. He said if she wanted to accuse him of this, she should at least be will ing to do it face to face. Yeah right!!!! All that resulted from that suggestion were hysterical sobs and rants, and shouts of "I told you he wouldn't admit it and would do this....I told you!!!" to my son.
She is refusing to ever be in the presence of my hubby again "as long as she lives" He is not welcome to come to the childrens birthday parties, church programs, school programs.....at which I stated to my son " then I won't be there either". The children are permitted to come here and we can celebrate their birthdays and holidays with them at our house. My son is taking our daughter in laws word for all this and is, at least for now, not sure he can be around my husband without "really getting in his face" . So I told him that he needed to take whatever time he needed to get some objectivity on this and then talk with Bob.
I don't know what is going to happen with our family. I am so incredibly sad. And Angry....I am so angry. I feel like I am being punished and I didn't do anything. And I don't even know where to put the anger. Right now, I am placing it on the situation.
Anyway, for now, I am very grateful that we can see the grandbabies. And I know that my son will come around. Since she will "never" come here again, I will get an opportunity to speak with him one on one. He is just as confused as I am with all this.
As of now, I still plan on talking with her on the phone, but I do not plan on discussing this with her any more. And we plan on see our grandbabies whenever we can. And until I have proof on anything different Hubby and I have circled the wagons and are fighting off the attack. (as suggested by some wise person in my last post.)
I do want to add the my son understands my standing strong next to Bob as I understand his standing strong next to his wife. So that, at least,helps prevent us from getting sucked into the whirlpool of confusion.
I don't know if this has made any sense. I am trying to put many specifics into few words and still have it make sense.
Thanks to all of you again for all the replies and support. and for all the PMs I got. You are all so great.
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WALK TALL WALK PROUD
CAROL
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: August 12, 2004 11:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Carol, Thinking of you


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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: August 13, 2004 5:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Carol,

I greatly admire your love and understanding. Your daughter-in-law sounds like a very immature young woman who insists on having her own way no matter who she hurts in the process.

You're so wise to stand by your husband. He's been your best friend longer than this young woman has been alive.

Hopefully your son will attempt to gain an understanding into what, exactly, is going on.

Carol, the best part of this whole situation is that you still see your grandchildren. You need them and they need you so don't give up any opportunity to spend time with them.

Please keep us updated. We do care.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 10:46 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Carol,

I know you do not know me very well and vice versa but I wanted to tell you that I am glad you posted again and the smoking crave has passed. I have found that sometimes we have to let people hang themselves...the guilty will usually do that if given enough rope.

If things do not add up to you then stand by your man....when another woman is involved in any way...it is usually best to let the guy be innocent until proven guilty...there is such rivalry with females ...too much competition...you have quit smoking and I bet your son talks about how great you are...sounds like prime circumstances for jealousy to this ole gal.
Kay
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All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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Calliemae



Quit Date:
May 3, 2004

Posts: 151
Location: Wisconsin

PostPosted: August 16, 2004 12:25 AM    Post subject: Carol Reply with quote

Carol,

Why bad things happen to good people we'll not know in our lifetime.

Thank God you can still see your grandchildren.

My prayers have been with you and your family
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Lisa
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