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UB
Quit Date: -
Posts: 93 Location: Maryland
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Posted: August 29, 2004 9:12 AM Post subject: Obnoxious Nonsmoker |
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My family and I went to Florida this last week. Did the usual: Disney, Universal, Kennedy, etc and had a ball. However, we pulled into the condo we rented for the week and were blasted by the nasty stench of cigs. Those things make a house nasty. I used almost a whole bottle of fabreeze in there and really didn't make a dent and since I had to sit on that furniture, I smelled like cigs all week. I never really realized how bad a cigarette can make a house smell. All the places we went to had designated smoking areas and most of the smokers ignored them. We were standing in line at the Kennedy Space Center when this guy ahead of me lit up while standing under the no smoking sign.
Don't get me wrong, I still have craves something bad. There are times when I would give anything for just one. I just can't handle the smell anymore-when some one lights up near me, I get a horrible headache and it makes me gag. What a contradiction. Anyone else have that problem?
This coming Friday, I am going to visit my niece who is deathly ill in the mid-west. I have been putting it off for months, but I don't think I can anymore--she is too sick. However, there is a big family feud going on there right now with her mother as the head of one side of the fight. My father died 6 months ago and didn't leave her the house like she wanted, so she is suing the estate. I have never had a problem with leaving her the house, she deserves it in my opinion, but I do have a big problem with all the lies she told on that lawsuit and I won't give her my share of the house until she drops the lawsuit and admits she lied. Am I wrong in this? I don't know. What I do know is that my problems with my sister have nothing to do with my niece. They all keep using my niece's health as a reason for me to sign over the house, but I what lesson would I be giving my kids if I did? It's wrong to lie unless you have a good reason to? NO--it's wrong to lie, period. My other sis told me I was heartless and that my dad would be turning over in his grave. She's right, my dad is rolling over in his grave---laughing his ass off at the 7 idiots he fathered. He told me before he died that there would be problems with certain members of the family and he was right.
I am not a confrontational person and I dread going back there. My sister can be a terribly cruel person when some one disagrees with her. I am honestly terrified of facing her alone.
My, my---I didn't mean for all that to come out, but I will leave it in because the rant made me feel better. That issue has been a bad trigger for me.
Well, the original thought there was that my 2 sis' will be angry that I won't stay with them. They smoke and I don't want to push my luck with my quit. It's going to be hard enough to not smoke while dealing with my family as it is--if I were to stay with a smoker, I don't think I could.
Thanks all for being here for me _________________
Alice |
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kjsblue
Quit Date: -
Posts: 756 Location: Nebraska
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Posted: August 29, 2004 9:25 AM Post subject: Yuck! |
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That does NOT sound pleasant at all! I'm sorry you will have to deal with that. It saddens me to see families get so upset about how things are divied up when people pass away. My dad's side of the family did something similiar to my grandfather when an uncle passed away. My grandfather took care of him and so Uncle Henry left him what he had...however, his siblings were furious and it really got ugly I guess...course being a kid at the time, my parents tried to keep it all from us, but you pick up on some of it. Now I have a feeing that when my grandmother passes away the same thing may happen to my dad and his siblings. Well just have to wait and see.
Anyway I'm rambling...My concern is that all this tension and stress may be a trigger for you, as I think you mentioned. What is your plan to stay smokefree when you go for the visit? Will you have internet access so you can post here?
Hang in there, you will figure out the best thing to do for yourself and your family...
Kris
Three weeks, 7 hours, 52 minutes and 23 seconds. 319 cigarettes not smoked, saving $63.98. Life saved: 1 day, 2 hours, 35 minutes. _________________
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it -- William Arthur Ward
Q.D. August 8th, 2004 |
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Melody
Quit Date: August 19, 2004
Posts: 1103 Location: Ontario
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Posted: August 29, 2004 5:49 PM Post subject: |
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I'm still at the gagging stage because I'm not smoking so I can't wait to get to the stage where I gag because someone is. LOL |
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ms_tapestry
Quit Date: October 21, 2009
Posts: 2574 Location: Seminole, TX
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Posted: August 29, 2004 6:32 PM Post subject: |
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First Alice, let me say congrats on your 3 month Quit!
I read a quote somewhere that said you can pick your friends, but you can't pick you family. I have seen it happen over and over. I call it the vulture syndrom. My heart felt sympathies are with you. Stay strong and don't smoke. As to the rest of it, it will all come out in the wash! _________________
Tonya
You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: August 29, 2004 7:14 PM Post subject: |
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Alice, i think it was mari that made a post that referred to winnie the pooh, and since i'm a big fan, i posted a pooh quote in response to her; here's one for you:
"You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think."
~ Christopher Robin
it sounds like a sticky situation you're going into, but if you believe you're right, then stick to your guns. you may be pleasantly surprised that your sister isn't so scary any more, now that you've faced down a killer that takes over 400,000 american lives each year and lived to tell the tale.
you can do this.
_________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Tammy
Quit Date: February 16, 2004
Posts: 2565 Location: Florida
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Posted: August 29, 2004 8:10 PM Post subject: |
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Alice, Hang in there. You are going to do fine. It looks like you see clearly what your triggers are. Also sounds like you have a plan. Keep us posted on how the visit goes. While you are there post on the boards if you need to. _________________
Tammy
Free and loving it! |
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Seabrez
Quit Date: -
Posts: 4458 Location: Gulf Coast
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Posted: August 29, 2004 9:14 PM Post subject: |
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Alice,
Hi, man, what an ordeal you are facing. I agree with your plan not stay with any smokers during this time. Stress is a big trigger. And this is definitely a stressful situtation to say the least. Like the others have said, do you have a plan about staying quit? Sounds like you have a good grasp on what your triggers might be in the situtaton, which is good. Just be careful, stay strong and determined. If it gets to be too much while you're there, take a walk, or step out of the situtation for a moment to get your wits back again.
My heart goes out to you. May God Bless you through it.
Deb _________________
Living in Freedom
Deb
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB |
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Cowgirl UP!
Quit Date: July 26, 2004
Posts: 5029 Location: Ala
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Posted: August 30, 2004 10:19 PM Post subject: |
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You are brave Barbd my siblings did not even want me to get a share and I had their power of attorney and took care of them.
Kay _________________
All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP |
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UB
Quit Date: -
Posts: 93 Location: Maryland
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Posted: August 31, 2004 6:44 AM Post subject: |
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I'll make it Thanks for all the advice--I just get so irritated and embarrassed by my family. My mom-in-law died a couple years ago and my husband's family were all so sweet and civilized--I won't let my husband tell his sisters what is going on with mine. I'm too ashamed. I would like to make peace in the family, but don't think I will be able to. We will see.
Have a good day all and remember to live today as if you have no tomorrow _________________
Alice |
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ms_tapestry
Quit Date: October 21, 2009
Posts: 2574 Location: Seminole, TX
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Posted: August 31, 2004 6:48 AM Post subject: |
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to live today as if you have no tomorrow |
_________________
Tonya
You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt |
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