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A long, rambling vent...

 
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kjsblue



Quit Date:
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Posts: 756
Location: Nebraska

PostPosted: October 8, 2004 10:01 AM    Post subject: A long, rambling vent... Reply with quote

Hello all:

I just need to rant as my job is really getting to me today. As some of you know I am trying to get my Master's degree in counseling. Well, the only part of graduate school I have left is my thesis. This thesis has been the bane of my existence since I started graduate school. I didn't really know what was involved in a thesis when I began graduate school, but I knew that in order to make any kind of reasonable living for myself, I needed more than a Bachelor's degree in Family Science. Therefore..I went ahead and took the plunge.

Well, I finally finished my coursework and praticum last December...even though I COULD have been working on my thesis that entire time (2 1/2 years) I avoided it in every way possible because I am totally and completely intimidated by it. I write excellent papers...it's the research, the statistics, the finding participants, the figuring out how I'm going to study what I want to study and whether or not my research would be significant to my field...that is intimidating the h*ll out of me. And to make matters worse I picked a horrible advisor. Way too hands off for me -- I guess I needed someone who would have been more involved with me, a motivator, a support person, etc...

Anyway...by December I was broke, no more options for student loans as I didn't need any more classes, and no graduation in site. Before returning to graduate school, I was working at a small engineering company as their administrative assistant/receptionist/secretary - you know, Gal Friday - for the Omaha office of about 20 engineers & CAD techs. The opportunity presented itself that I could come back if I wanted to, while working on my thesis. As the gal they hired after me wasn't working out very well and they needed someone temporarily while they looked for another replacement.

Well, I jumped on the opportunity. It was great making more than a $700/month stipend again. AND to have actual BENEFITS was nice. But it still isn't what i want to be doing and it is a dead end job anyway.

So to finally get to the point...I'm feeling a little sorry for myself today. One of the project managers that I do things for is a workaholic and a martyr. I'm sure you all know the type. He continues to take on more and more work, even though he KNOWS he's already in over his head, and has put an ungodly amount of stress on his team (I'm also part of his team - but I'm also part of the other 2 teams here, and my Operations Manager's personal assistant)...

Generally, this position is incredibly boring and thus the motivation for me to go back to school...however with this guy, the position is becoming insanely busy! I'm struggling to get anything done on my thesis at night and on the weekends. Just doesn't seem to be enough time during the week to get everything done.

I was hoping that this would only be a year stint and I would be graduating in December but that isn't happening at all. I'm not even close. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I should tell my Operations Manager to start looking for someone else, or what...I need to pay my bills, but I also need to finish my thesis so I can move on...

I'm not looking for any answers...I just needed to rant and vent. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I DO know that I need to sit down with my fiancee and try to come up with what my options are. He's horrible at this though...may be doing it on my own, then asking for input...We'll see.

Thanks Kevin for providing this forum - thanks to you all for letting me just ramble, I greatly appreciate it!
I guess the point is, I KNOW I put myself into this situation and I need to find a SOLUTION Smile So there you have it! Thanks for letting me feel sorry for myself for a while. Wink

Kris
Two months, 8 hours, 21 minutes and 0 seconds. 1226 cigarettes not smoked, saving $245.39. Life saved: 4 days, 6 hours, 10 minutes.
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Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: October 8, 2004 1:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh I am soo sorry you are going through a rough time! School and work and a lot of work causes a lot of stress.

You do need to figure out what you need to do. You need to pay your bills but at the same time your thesis needs to get done. Without doing that you won't get to the next level and have to get stuck in your dead end job. If you do leave or tell them to look for someone else, you have to be able to figure out how long it will be, and if you can afford to do that. If not you have to find a pace at which you can work at and try to fit everything into your schedule, to get things done.

Your advisor sounds like maybe he/she might not be for you?? Are you able to switch advisors?? Try to make best of the current situation, if you ask for help I am sure they will be more hands on...When your sick you go to the doctor..the doctor doesnt come to you...

You sound very determined and I wish you all the best..

You can do this!

Smile
Mariko
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kevin
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Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: October 8, 2004 4:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i know you're not looking for an answer, Kris, so i won't try to give you one. i will make an observation, though:

in 2 and a half years of school, you didn't finish your thesis.

in 10 months back on the job, you haven't finished your thesis.

it seems to me that your environment (work vs. school) is irrelevant to the main challenge, which is finishing your thesis.

so, my non-answer for you (Smile) is to set a dealine for yourself and work towards it in steady steps (one hour a night during the week and 8 hours on the weekends, or whatever). when your deadline arrives, take your thesis - in whatever shape it's in - to your advisor, and tell them you'd like to submit it. ask them to review it and make suggestions for improvement. take their suggestions, rework it as before, and re-submit it for another evaluation.

you'll get it done.
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: October 8, 2004 5:27 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always find when I am very stressed its because I have that project that is on my mind constantly that needs to get done. So just put one foot forward and keep going. You'll find the stress will vanish day by day!

I am not in your shoes, so I have no idea what your going through. But I feel for you.

Did you ever get afraid of something and you worried so much about it but when you faced it the worry and anxiety was gone? In other words put you energy where it belongs. You deserve to finish that thesis. You've come this far, don't stop now. Sounds like you've got some obsticles but don't let that detir you! KEEP GOING. YOU CAN DO THIS!

I am not good with words, but I'm trying here. Smile

I'll be praying for you to find peace in finishing your thesis.


Love, Londa

Oh yeah! Good For you for not smoking!
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: October 8, 2004 5:32 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is just a Thesis get cracking. We have all done one before and lived to tell the tale. I don't even think they ever fail you on it do they?????????? What is yours on maybe we can help it's not like the Thesis police are really out there are they?????. Laughing Laughing
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kjsblue



Quit Date:
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Posts: 756
Location: Nebraska

PostPosted: October 9, 2004 8:55 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay...feeling much better today. See in the past, on days like yesterday, when I was sitting on my pitty pot and just feeling sorry for myself I would always go have a smoke break. Well, as you all know, that is no longer an option.

I learned alot from yesterday's emotional outbreak...

Melody --
Quote:
It is just a Thesis

oh you are SO right! I do make this out to be a HUGE monster that it doesn't have to be. It may be the perfectionism I have been working on for years. For the most part I think I have it whipped, except when it comes to school things. Thank you SO much for your insight! Smile

Londa -
Quote:
I always find when I am very stressed its because I have that project that is on my mind constantly that needs to get done
and
Quote:
Did you ever get afraid of something and you worried so much about it but when you faced it the worry and anxiety was gone?

Again, words of Wisdom! Smile Thank you Londa for being so kind and considerate. I know that by NOT working on the thesis I am causing myself stress. And your second statement about making things out bigger than they have to be....I KNOW I do that and I think Melody hit it on the head when she asked if there were any Thesis police out there!! Laughing

And Kevin...
Quote:
it seems to me that your environment (work vs. school) is irrelevant to the main challenge, which is finishing your thesis.
I can't thank you enough for that enlightening observation!! Of course this was one of those realities and facts of life that I couldn't see because I was too close to the situation. The Idea went off and looked like a light house beacon it was so bright!!

Last but not least, it occurred to me last night that I have to look at my thesis like I have been looking at my Quit this time, with a positive attitude, not a "this sucks! Poor me! I don't want to do this? Why does it have to be so hard?"...and on and on...

Thank you all SO very much for letting me ramble and thank you for your comforting and insightful words. It's helps SO much!!

I now have roughed out a weekly schedule for working on my thesis and it's flexible enough that I shouldn't get too frustrated when unexpected things come up, but I think it's regular enough that I can say..."I'm sorry, I can't do that on this night/day because it's my thesis time". I have to treat my thesis like a job!

Okay....I'm signing off. I'm going to ride my bike and watch the sun come up! Wink

Blessings on you all!
Kris
Two months, one day, 7 hours, 13 minutes and 53 seconds. 934 cigarettes not smoked, saving $186.90. Life saved: 3 days, 5 hours, 50 minutes.
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kevin
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PostPosted: October 9, 2004 11:06 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smile
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kevin

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kjsblue



Quit Date:
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Location: Nebraska

PostPosted: October 10, 2004 8:56 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in a hurry yesterday and missed thanking Mariko Embarassed for her encouraging words as well AND your insight...I hope better late than never is okay Neutral

Quote:
Your advisor sounds like maybe he/she might not be for you?? Are you able to switch advisors?? Try to make best of the current situation, if you ask for help I am sure they will be more hands on...When your sick you go to the doctor..the doctor doesnt come to you...


You are ABSOLUTELY correct! I have been working on asking for help (one of my weak points) and I let him intimidate me for some reason. I actually haven't talked to him since probably spring! Embarassed No one is going to be able to help me, unless I come right out and ask for help. Then I will know whether or not I need to get a new advisor, right?

Thanks SO much for your post Mariko!! Smile

Take care!
Kris
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