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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: April 26, 2004 10:28 PM    Post subject: Grown up Reply with quote

I don'tknow if you all have been watching my rants abuot my mother. Well I just realized that ok she has the right to not have me speak in her house about smoking but I also realized that there is a freedom of speech of which she has no right to curb especially when the talk is not about her. She got angry at me once again and basically told me that if I , my daughter said anything at all about smoking hers or mine(quiting) she would make us leave her house. I would have to walk 67 miles. Anyway you all know that the trucks that bring our papers broke down well she called me basically aliar on this too. She said that she didn't beleive the trucks broke down and then tried to cover up that she was calling me a liar which is really funny because she was saying that the company probably was lying to us. HA I have been wtih the company for 8 years and my fiancee has been with them for 4 Now I don't think they lied to us.

Anyway she kept up in this vain and you know what yes she makes me angry and you know I let myself take the weekend and think about whether I wanted to answer her rediculous email or not . And I finally decided that hey someone has to be the adult here. So because my mother doesn't know how or doesn't want to be a grown up I guess I have to be and I choose not to answer her. I will be polite to her when she emails or talks to me but I absolutely refuse to be belittled because I do not smoke anymore and because I told her the truth about the trucks.

It is not my fault her mind is poisoned and her body is to from the cigarettes. And she chooses to die rather then live and I had told her I choose life and she said I was a sheep following others. At this I refuse once again to answer her but I feel she gave me the biggest compliment in the world even though she meant it as an insult. Because I am choosing to be a sheep and follow where others have led I will live longer healthier and happier life. She on the other had will have a lot of fun wheezing her way down the driveway to get the mail or go for grocieries. She will stink like an ashtray and so will her house. I will feel sorry for her and thankfull too that I don't have to have that fix. I will be happy watching her burn money like it is free and I willl have money to save.

She also told me that I was trying to control her as a friend of mine said about something other than her. She took that and twisted it to suit her own needs. I could not control myself or emotinons what makes her think I can control her. I laugh at this and no longer am angry. I find her accusations rediculious and ludicrist (sp)

Anyway I forgive her and even though I don't love her and don't even like her and don't respect her she is still my mother and I will be polite to her only. To me she is only my biologiical mom and not my real mom. My real mom to me is 93 years old and told me that mom was always a handful stubborn bullheaded willful. All admirable qualities if used correctly. Unfortunately mom uses this as a weapon to cow us into submission. Sorry mom I won't be cowed had that for 15 years and won't do it again. Sorry mom but I choose to be an adult here not a child who is addicted to a chemical that will eventually kill you.

Anyway thanks for listening to my vents and rants. I am sure that you all are really sick of hearing about my mother and I promise I will try to keep it to a dull roar. I appologize to you all if I seem like a spoiled, undisaplined child who should probably be paddled or grounded.

I at this point am choosing to be the grown up and not answer mom's email and ranting and raving at me about everything.


Thanks all for listening.


Two weeks, one day, 11 hours, 28 minutes and 0 seconds. 619 cigarettes not smoked, saving $106.80. Life saved: 2 days, 3 hours, 35 minutes.
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MommaDuckie



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 31
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: April 27, 2004 2:04 AM    Post subject: heidi Reply with quote

hey girl you rant all you want.. Mad i am always here to lend an ear or a shoulder which ever you need.... Wink

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MommaDuckie
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lbuz



Quit Date:
May 29, 2007

Posts: 254
Location: New York

PostPosted: April 27, 2004 7:02 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona

Your right someone has to be the adult in your situation. Normally I would say that there is nothing that should get in the way of family, expecially when it's your mother (within reason of course), but in this case I think you have done everything you can to try to be the adult here. What I see is a control freak who doesn't have her hold on you. Maybe she's trying to justify her own actions, who knows, but it sounds like there are some serious problems there that she no doubt will not get help for. Take the lessons you've learned from her and don't use them in your relationship with your daughter and focus on getting all the things done you have mentioned to get your life in order, don't waste valuable time on your mother right now. When you get to that point, then you can focus on her again if you need to, maybe she will grow up, if not, you can walk away knowing that you have dont everything you can.
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Lisa
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: April 27, 2004 10:41 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks moma duck

And Lisa I have looked for approval from my mother since I was a very little girl. I can rember thinking that she was the most beautiful woman in the world until I got to know her. She would come to visit and just sit there not saying much at all. She never said she loved me never said that she was proud of me nothing nada. It wasn't until I got older that I realized she was not someone that I wanted toemulate. I did notlike her very much at all. And from what my gran says my mother has always been this way. self centered and egotistical. It is her way or the highway right or wrong her opinion is the only onethat counts.

And so I have always been alone and craving a mothers love which I will never have. I have always made sure my kids had their mothers love always. I love them no matter what they have done. And if they need me they have me. I am by no means perfect nor will i ever be but I do try to not be my mother. Whom I do not like. I am polite to my mother and that I will remain but I refuse to allow her to run me or my life.

And when gran dies if my mother walks away from me fine I will make another family oneout of my friends. I have done so before and I can do so again. I do not need my mother. Not anymore I don't. It would of been nice but it is not meant to be so I will take the lemons and make lemonade.

Thanks to all who have listened and god bless each and every one of us

Two weeks, one day, 23 hours, 41 minutes and 59 seconds. 639 cigarettes not smoked, saving $110.31. Life saved: 2 days, 5 hours, 15 minutes.
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