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Almost sent out S O S

 
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: October 13, 2004 9:59 PM    Post subject: Almost sent out S O S Reply with quote

Hey guys,

I do not know just which forum to put this in. I fought the Scowling Demon big time most of the afternoon. I was deep breathing so deep and hard I thought I was going to hyperventilate, water was not working and the crave was at its strongest peek. I finally made it home and took an anexiey tablet and another ZYBAN....relief is just now coming. What is the heck is going on here???? I have been doing so great...no craves that last over a few seconds not lasting hours.

I have stepped down on the patch, well I am cheating I guess but I cut the 7mg in half and will until they are gone...I was doing this to try to avoid a day like today. I am so envious of all those who can just do this cold turkey, after today, I know I would end up in prison!

I was at my daughter's keeping the kids....I did not want to do that today and was furious with her. I think I let my anger get the best of me but she never knew just how upset I was. She knew I was not happy about the situation but she just thought it was because I had to leave my housework unfinished. I was angry because she keeps planning my day or interupting my plans. Kris needs to do her thesis on my daughter, I am sure she would qualify in the research department for counseling Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes she is driving me insane...she trys not to but cannot seem to do anything on her own. I would push counseling but then that is just putting more on me. I just do not understand why her having a doctor's appt should even enter into my day???? I guess it is because I got married when I was 18, moved 50 miles away, never asked my mother and father for anything. She is 30...and damn the cell phone just went off because she could not get through...the impatient little devil. Guess this ends it just in case there is something imp she needs.....just had to get this out....my quit was really on shaky ground today....I thought I was going to lose the battle this time.
Kay
Confused I was able to edit this so..I just had to tell you she could not wait for me to get off the computer now are you ready for the major crisis..... she had a mouse in her house....what do you do with someone like this, seriously...somebody help me to help her grow up!
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terryg



Quit Date:
May 13, 2004

Posts: 177
Location: washington

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 12:22 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

You did soooooo good, not giving into the Scowling Demon . Having a smoke would not have changed anything, except your quit date.

Stay strong and do some more breathing lol,lol. Or better yet, turn off the ringer on your phone & take a relaxing bubble bath.

Terry
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Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 12:30 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cutting a 7 mili patch is almost like nothing... Your body is probably going through a light detox. Everytime you step down you are going to experience some type of wishdrawal and well sounds like you went through one today.

My boyfriend was cutting patches in half towards the end too. After he was done doing that, he had a rough few days afterwards, but he got over the 3 day hump. You will be ok, the more you fight it, the stronger you become. So glad you stayed strong and got through it! Remeber the rule, come here and post first!! Smile

Mouse in the house?? There is always one in my house Laughing Laughing . His name is Templeton and hes here to stay! Laughing

hugs
mariko
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 4:14 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kay, for me it's not a coincidence that a crave comes when I find myself in a stressful situation. Or a series of stressful situations piling on top of each other, as the case may be. But thinking that smoking a cigarette will solve all my problems is the old addiction talking. Separate the two in your mind. The crave will pass whether you smoke or not. Working through the family situation. . .well, you get to work that one out for yourself! Very Happy Identify what it is you want to happen and then take baby steps towards that goal. Counseling may be rough on you short term but beneficial to all long term.

There is something else at work here you may not have noticed. You are currently under attack by a case of the terrible threes. Yep, you are coming up on your three month lunaversary. Here is a link to Kevin's Tales. I reread this when I am coming up on a three! http://www.woofmang.com/tales/terrible_threes.shtml I recognize you pain and angst Ms. Kay. My only request is that you come to the boards and post sooner next time. There are people here, including myself, who want to help. I am going to post my stats so you will know I am with you this week! Laughing

I have been quit for 3 Months, 3 Weeks, 3 Days, 3 hours, 11 minutes and 47 seconds (116 days). I have saved $451.51 by not smoking 2,090 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Week, 6 hours and 10 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 6/20/2004 Laughing Laughing Laughing

Hang in there Kay. Take extra special care of yourself today and let us know how you are doing! Very Happy
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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alleghany



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 2049

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 8:41 AM    Post subject: Re: Almost sent out S O S Reply with quote

Cowgirl UP! wrote:
....what do you do with someone like this, seriously...somebody help me to help her grow up!


You teach people how to treat you! (God bless you, Dr. Phil!) Do you enjoy that she needs you so much? Are you encouraging this behavior? Does she realize that she is being immature? Why haven't you set your boundries?

Hey, it's easy to ask questions....it's the answers that are difficult! Rolling Eyes

Sending you good vibes and cheers for not smoking! Cool
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 9:38 AM    Post subject: Re: Almost sent out S O S Reply with quote

4 words, Kay: learn to say "no".

you wrote:
I think I let my anger get the best of me but she never knew just how upset I was.

why didn't she know?

then you wrote:
I just do not understand why her having a doctor's appt should even enter into my day????

whose choice was it to allow her appointment to interrupt your day?

then you wrote:
damn the cell phone just went off because she could not get through...the impatient little devil. Guess this ends it just in case there is something imp she needs....

and so you just drop everything to do her bidding whenever she demands it...

seriously, Kay - stop answering the phone. stop running over to her house whenever she demands it. stop allowing her to drop the kids off any time she wants. learn to say "no". people generally choose the path of least resistance: she'll never grow up and cut the apron strings until it becomes clear to her that she has to; why should she? you've taught her that she doesn't have to do anything for herself.

when little birds get to be a certain age, their mother pushes them out of the nest, and they have to fly or fall. she's not being cruel; she just knows that there comes a time when her chicks have to learn to fly on their own or they won't survive in the long run. your little chick is long past that age.

give her a little push.
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kevin

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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 11:32 AM    Post subject: Dear Dear Reply with quote

I can't stop Laughing Laughing Laughing Sorry I know this is not funny but last February my daughter who had her son early in life just up and leaves us with her husband and my grandson.( Took off to the big city to find herself or some such nonsense) I say she left us both as we rented them one of our houses in the first place so the little guy could grow up in the house we had raised our children in rather than the city. It was the only way they could ever afford a house as we gave them really cheap rent. Well when she left I inherited a 3 year old soon to be 4 now and luckily for me he had seen me pretty much every day since he was born as my daughter seemed unable to cope. I guess the point is you are pretty much getting off easy it could be way worse. By the way my Grandson has become my whole life and my son in-law is coping with the loss of his wife and does take the little guy home weekends. Also the little guy has started JK this year so I do have some time. Also cowgirl I believe I already told you about my brother who I help to raise his 4 kids as he is on his own. They are 4-6-8 and 11. At this point you either hide from the phone and just don't answer or toss yourself in full time. You can see the choice I made. Wink
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 11:32 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the response...I am better and will write more to this post later today...trying to get some much needed stuff done and my thoughts in order btw: I know you are right, all of you...can't believe you raise two children the same and one soars on his own and the other clings for dear life...I have always been there if they needed me...one has just gotten to be way to needy. Thanks again love ya!
Wink Kay
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 4:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok gang, I will try to answer your replies now...thanks so much for not having a pitty party in my honor and for trusting an internet friendship enough to speak the truth and your mind. I truly appreciate it.

I have been fighting the dark demon today instead of Scowling Demon but I think it is because I get overwhelmed when things happen from all sides...a little down time and I usually pop right back... I am starting to pop now Laughing Laughing

Terry, thanks for the bathtub idea, it worked...the phone well it has rang about 7 times today but she did have a legitimate excuse with an insurance problem. I guess the answering machine will have to start doing some work...if she would just leave a message.

Mariko, thanks for the reminder that your boyfriend made it fine off the patch, I do think I am having some difficulty coming off the patch.

Tonya, thanks as always for you calm and continued support and for reminding me about the terrible threes, counseling has been done several times so maybe I need to go instead to learn how to handle her instead of trying to find out what makes her tick.

Alleghany, don't you love Dr. Phil? Yes, I see what you are saying and somehow I have created this mess myself. I do not, however, get any type of reward for her being so dependent on me...it is very tiring and taxing...the only thing I can think of that may have encouraged it is over protection. I messed up and removed all boundaries etc during the anorexia...I had to be there for her at all times and love her unconditionaly to help pull her through...we, together with the therapist got it under control.

Melody, you nut, thanks for making me laugh too. You are so right, it could be alot worse! I have considered taking the little girl but knew that would only make me as confined as she was and not solve anything. She may think I will take on anything that gets alittle rough on her. Believe me, she has come alongggggg way from how she used to be.

Kevin, thanks as always for your here comes the truth attitude that I admire in you. I am going to have to start saying NO even though I have tried to make it easier on her, she is not growing and I am enabling that. I let her know I did not like it but should have taken the time to make her understand why in a calm way...still working on that part...stay quite to keep from loosing control. She does not have anyone but me...and you are right she never will find anyone as long as I drop everything and take charge. I tried to get off the phone quickly today, she knows, I could hear it in her voice...I do not like causing anyone pain or hurt feelings. You are on target about one thing here and that is that it has came down to either me or her...now the old me would definitely say it won't be me but the mother in me is still protective. I do wonder if some of this may be genetic since my two sisters were exactly the same way with my mother?

No excuses were intended, just talking it through...I will say that she has had alot of problems where I did not see any other choice but for me to help...I just did not see the STOP signs.
Thanks friends you have helped me and my quit...my daughter may see it differently though Laughing Laughing
Kay
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Katy



Quit Date:
January 4, 2002

Posts: 71
Location: Missouri

PostPosted: October 14, 2004 5:59 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

cutting the patches results in them not working correctly. Please don't cheat on your patch therapy.....it works so well because it is a "weaning" tool. You are at the last step....don't take chances like this. Cutting them is like dumping yourself off the program without doing the last step....... wear those patches as directed clear to the end of the session. there is no sense in risking your quit thus far!! and although patches are expensive.....well the therapy ends and the smoking was going to cost a LOT LOT more than the patches.
now get your patch on lady...You will be "running naked" soon enough..Wink
Katy
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Hope



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 346

PostPosted: October 15, 2004 4:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey cowgirl. I'm the same this week. At the start of the week I was saying how pleased I was - i'd been out last weekend and not craved at all. I was delighted. Then last night a big lingering craving jumped up and bit me on the bum. Laughing Demon
Where it came from I really don't know but I'd hoped that I was over long cravings - they'd just been so short lately. Nevermind - that was a bad day hopefully today will be a good one - ity's to be expected I guess. Bad days happen less and less often - so maybe ours are out the way for a few days! Razz
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: October 15, 2004 8:28 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope,
I am sorry to hear that ole Scowling Demon visited you this week also. He is a mean little devil...I think labor pains were easier but then that could be the loss of my memory again Laughing Laughing
Kay
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