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Oh come on

 
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 7:56 PM    Post subject: Oh come on Reply with quote

It is not an epidemic. Noticing scads of relapses or just in my opinion they are working on their QUIT NOT. Just for the record I'm 100% happy with my QUIT and don't even think of smoking EVER. If you are one of the ones that have QUIT you have nothing to FEAR. Guys come on we need a group HUDDLE. Cowgirl rope em we need to line dance on the next guy reaching for a ciq. What happened by the way to QUIT means QUIT. Question Question
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chooverg



Quit Date:
June 10, 2004

Posts: 148
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 9:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some days you just think you can't do this anymore and you smoke. The problem is....we cave into the crave. I SAY NO. DON'T DO IT. We have all tried so hard and some for so long. Don't quit quitting.
Christina
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Kindness done by men with ugly faces
The worst horse won at the races
So, I trust too
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 10:03 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK Melody, I will try....we do need a huddle...I do not want to appear to be harsh on anyone for I realize it could just as well have been me, however, I also feel we all need to pull together to gets those who have fallen back on track ...and to keep anyone else from caving to a crave. I have caught myself in a tither searching for a smoke...hoping not to find one but searching just the same...the bottom line is we are and forever will be addicts and addicts seldom walk away on their own....this is the purpose of this site to have a safe haven as we work through our addiction...or at least I see it that way.

I cannot be upset with those who have not had the strength to make it YET because I still cannot believe I am doing it myself, but I can be upset that somehow, I feel scared everytime someone meets the devil. All teachings say there is not a crave that cannot be rode out, although there have been times I have really questioned this.

For anyone who has slipped, relapsed, failed or fallen, my heart goes out to you along with my foot as a swift kick. I would want you to do the same...please should I fall for heavens sake someone pick me up and rattle my brain, kick my butt or whatever else may be needed. This is a strong site where the goal is to quit and maintain it...this is why it works here....other sites allow slips, relapses or failure as if nothing at all had happened. It did happen, one of us was not strong enough at the moment and we all need to try to find a way to strengthen each other.

I will hush now..........
Kay
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bake10



Quit Date:
October 20, 2004

Posts: 407
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 10:11 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with you Kay. I was one of those who caved at one point in my quit, I am glad I had people here supporting me, so that I could get back on track. Lets not be negative here and make the people that caved feel bad. Quitting smoking takes time and practice. We all are different, with different stregths, and weaknesses, the important thing is that we are all here for each other regardless of what happens. jeri
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 5:49 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is scary to see someone else cave. Especially when I think they have a "strong" Quit. I then realize how strong this addiction is and that we are all just one puff away from being smokers again. My heart goes out to those that lost their Quits. I will not condemn nor judge them, but try to learn what went wrong so I do not do the same. There but for the grace of God go I. What keeps me strong is this support group. Reading posts to see how others who have gone before me cope with the day to day challenges. And reaching back to offer a hand up to those who are coming up behind me. There is something truly special and wonderful about this support group and all the people in it. Consider yourselves hugged! Very Happy
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 7:32 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melody,
Don't get too comfortable feeling like nothing could happen to you as far as relapse. Craves and urges happen at the strangest times for all of us. You may feel like your quit is very secure today, but who knows what tomorrow will be. Chances are you'll have 'thoughts' of smoking.
Whether or not you give into the thoughts or urges to smoke, you still may get them.
Just my own opinion...........Don't want to offend or upset anyone.
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alleghany



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 2049

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 8:47 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, Melody!

I understand your frustration. We really do care about the people here. That said, yesterday I was making my first big pot of chili for the Fall. After cutting a slew of onions, I actually thougtht, "Oh, I will go outside for a smoke break." Not a craving per se, but the ghost of my past self. In weight loss there is a literal and mental "fat shadow". I feel a similar experience with having smoked heavily for 25 years.

Also, we have patterns. Individual, group, national, etc. etc. The time of year could account for a series of relapses. Or it could just be a coincidence. Clustering is a phenomenon which has always fascinated me, but not my area of expertise. It can be really complex or really simple. All I know is that I want to support everyone here as I have been supported.

Quiting smoking saved my life. Each person here and at FFS (and joel's library!) have helped keep me alive and healthy longer.

Thanks for posting this, Melody. I think it makes for really good discussion. Cool
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Quit date: June 6, 2004
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 9:44 AM    Post subject: Sorry Reply with quote

Sorry guys. Not sure what got into me other than for some reason every time we have a run of relapses it anger's me. I'm not angry at the person but rather the whole hold a cig has on a person. It does puzzle me that I don't think of picking up the habit again when so many seem to feel a strong pull in that direction. I think I'll take a break from here for a few days and collect a more positive attitude. Embarassed
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 10:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melody, it's not at all strange to feel that way, and don't beat yourself up for it. You said what a lot of people were probably feeling, and I'm sorry for contributing to your frustration.

I, too, always felt a need to take a break when I saw things like that happening, because it felt like it fed into more people doing so. It's why people who slip/relapse hesitate to let people know, because they not only let themselves down, they know that they've let so many others down as well.

While I think your post would have been more appropriate in the "Rants" forum than one where people expect to find inspiration, I'm not offended by your frustration with me.

I'm so glad that you are doing so well, because you deserve to be free and proud of it. Be frustrated with the likes of me, just try your best not to judge others. Give them the tough love they might need, but always in love, and it will be received as such. Either way, your quit is yours and you should hold tight to it, just like you are.
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 5:41 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Melody,
You do not have to take a break...no one is upset with you...why for stating your feelings?? We all have different feelings on different days...this is just a sore subject sometimes and I for one did not want to offend anyone...you included....sure hope you do not feel upset.
Kay
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 5:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually I've ended up posting more today than usual. Laughing I was upset more with myself for getting so frazzled. I just needed to realize someone else's lapse does not in any way affect my QUIT. I was the offender I believe not the offended. Embarassed
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Katy



Quit Date:
January 4, 2002

Posts: 71
Location: Missouri

PostPosted: November 12, 2004 8:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

melody......after my hubby myself, the kids and one good friend had been quit for over a year.......the friend started smoking again. He snuck smokes. He thought no one knew. Believe me, I took it personally. I was devastated. I felt personally violated that a member of my little quitting "group" had hit a wall. I wanted to grab him and shake hell out of him.
when I cooled off enough to "think" about it, I realized that HE was the one in pain. He was trying to hide his failure from the rest of us. What he really needed was our unbiased support and love. We managed to give that and he managed to get back on the wagon.
It's funny how we take someone else's slip ups isn't it?? quitting smoking is a strange journey.....and believe me, the "thoughts" about smoking can come long, long after you are quit. It always takes strength and determination to stay away from listening to that junky that is still in us. I find that just another reason we need to have some sort of support to turn to when the times get tough. There is no shame in struggling at times. and I do understand your reaction to people slipping.
Katy
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Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: November 14, 2004 1:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just like my quote says... I believe some of us need to fail before we succeed. Sometimes we need to give it a go a few times till we get it right. For many people coming to this site isn't their first experience to quit, others it may be a first time thing. Regardless of how you quit or how many times you cave, the ultimate goal is that you keep at it even if you do fall. I have caved and those experiences have made me stronger. We all know this is one of the most difficult things to do, and continuing on and not giving up shows how strong we all are, caving or not caving..

hugs
Mariko
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: November 15, 2004 6:51 PM    Post subject: I needed to be aware... Reply with quote

I suspect there is a cyclic nature to most every phenomenon - I think that seeing folks struggling made me be a bit more cautious - the worry that if it happened to them, it could happen to me - but it also made me re-affirm that I really, really don't want to smoke - there are just fleeting moments when Laughing Demon sneeks into my thoughts....and luckily I've got all of the tools I need to laugh at the thought and move on - but stay on my toes.

Bowling with a bunch of friends last Friday evening - I had a drink, and was thinking about a second and realized that my brain was thinking have another and a smoke - so...I said no to both... because I knew I needed to be especially cautious - and seeing the slips and stumbles really, really helped me by putting me on alert to the potential. Not that I'd ever want someone to struggle and lapse or relapse - but knowing that it CAN happen is important.

We can stay strong and support each other! Together we are much stronger than we are apart.
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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