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Acting Mean...Is it Normal?!?

 
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ycatsnots



Quit Date:
October 10, 2004

Posts: 9
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: November 10, 2004 10:57 PM    Post subject: Acting Mean...Is it Normal?!? Reply with quote

Hello to all of you out there! I only quit smoking exactly a month ago. The cravings are more or less gone, but I am depressed and I have become extremely mean. Not just irratible, but M-E-A-N. I take no responsibility for my actions, I don't apologize when I know I am wrong, I scream and I yell (and I am aware the entire time I am doing it, yet I can't stop it!!!)

Is this normal? And if it is, how do I stop? It's beginning to affect my relationship and I am becoming desperate. Please help!
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: November 10, 2004 11:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, normal means different things to different people. During the first of my Quit I was extremely irritable, irrational at times and subject to extreme mood swings. I countered by trying to eat better, drinking lots of fluids, and adding exercise to my daily routine. I also learned to apologize and became quite good at it as I had so much practice. Shocked If you truly feel like this is out of control for you, then you may want to seek medical attention. There are medications that can help you as you give up this powerful addiction.
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: November 10, 2004 11:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep, been there done that. It gets better. Tonya gave good advice. Are you drinking cranbery juice. it helped me so much with the bad moods. Exercise works miricles too! Tell all involved not to hold it against you that you will be ok. Very Happy
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 1:03 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Was I mean Geeeeeeezzzzzzz was I ever...then it got alot better though hubby still says I am mean, Laughing Laughing daughter too! Laughing Laughing but then I have learned to say sorry I just can't do that! If you are feeling overwhelmed then I would suggest you speak to all of your family and let them know what is upsetting you....first I lashed out then I turned it inward and now it is coming out well lets say somewhat firm....but hey daughter ran an ad for a babysitter....so sometimes the outburts can be benefical Wink
Kay
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ycatsnots



Quit Date:
October 10, 2004

Posts: 9
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 9:11 AM    Post subject: Okay... Reply with quote

Thanks for the advice...

My fiance is not very happy with me right now...

On an upnote, I called the doctor not ten minutes ago, to seek advice. I guess we'll see what he says at my appointment.

But, how do you say "I'm sorry"? It physically hurts to admit that I was...perhaps...wrong...
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 1:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes you can become "mean" to other unconsiously. figuring that if you will get nasty enough, those around you will just beg you to be your "normal" self again, and go back to smoking. It's just another junky addict excuse that Laughing Demon puts into our heads that justifys having a smoke!

So, tape a little note on your forhead and on your back with a permanent "I'm sorry" message. Tell people your sorry even BEFORE you do anything wrong.

Just remember, most things that happen when you quit are just created in your head, to give you an excuse to get back to the addiction.

The good news is...this is totally normal, and I think you'll find that most of us have gogne through the "bitch stage. Yes, there are some who are like that even before they quit (just kidding), but it gets worse when you quit. Just keep in your mind what it is, and you'll be able to deal with it without coming to blows with family and friends.

And, keep up the good work! You've got too much time invested to even think about giving up now!
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The Crave-inator



Quit Date:
August 11, 2003

Posts: 77
Location: Westmont, Illinois

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 5:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi all, I've often toyed with the idea that being 'mean' was just the learning process for suddenly dealing with issues and anger. As smokers when we were angry we would smoke. Now we don't do that and we're going through the process of discovering our new comfort level for how we will respond to problems (and rage)! Very Happy Any feed back? Barb (The Crave-inator)

FYI - a handgun (used properly at a firing range) is an excellent outlet for anger and can be a fun new hobby.

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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 6:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barb, in my humble opinion you hit the nail on the head. Happy, sad, angry, joyous. . all of these emotions were reason to smoke. I have had to relearn how to conduct myself on a professional and personal level since I Quit. One of the greatest things I've learned is deep breathing which works especially well if you also visualize a certain "place". It slows the heart rate, gives me a healthy dose of oxygen to the brain (for clearer thinking? Laughing ) and gives me time to marshall my feelings and gather my thoughts. It has probably saved my job as well as kept me from gaining an arrest record for the assault of various unfortunate strangers I have encountered along the way! Shocked

I kind of like the idea of the handgun and firing range, though. Feel the power! Laughing
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You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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bake10



Quit Date:
October 20, 2004

Posts: 407
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 8:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

jeriI know exactly what your talking about. When we dont't have our so called cig friend, we have to get out frustration. Laughing Demon Laughing Demon Scowling Demon
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 11, 2004 9:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is all about learning to cope without the cigs....and a target practice does sound like alot of fun....but I don't think anyone in my family would let me have a gun....
Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Kay
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hokuleia



Quit Date:
August 1, 2004

Posts: 2
Location: Phoenix, Arizona

PostPosted: November 21, 2004 11:21 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm still mean. After 3 months it really has not changed for me. I totally agree with having to deal with emotions now where previously I would lose them in my cigs, or maybe ignore them, or project them into puffing. A lot has changed for me emotionally because of this. It's a new world. Especially being a supervisor, and patience has always been difficult for me.

It's hard though. Probably the hardest thing for me to deal with and the one excuse that wants to keep coming up to smoke again. I'm glad that I can identify that thanks to these boards and will not give it. I'm focusing on new ways to deal before I react: walking, lifting weights, punching the air (I kid you not!).

My $.02
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