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I really want a smoke

 
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smokefree04



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 66

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 11:35 AM    Post subject: I really want a smoke Reply with quote

Mad Mad Mad I am so angry and frustrated right now I don't know what to do. I found out yesterday that my boyfriend has set up a "personal ad" on the internet and I found it yesterday. When I confronted him he said he didn't do it and won't admit it for nothing. This sparked a huge fight where he accused me of not trusting him and that I went behind his back.

Bottom line; I am so hurt, angry and frustrated that I feel I am going crazy and I have never wanted a cigarette so badly in my life. I just want this feeling to go away. Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

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By the grace of God I have been free and healing for Ten Months, Eighteen Days, 8 Hours and 43 Minutes. By not smoking 6447 cigarettes I have saved 22 Days and 9 Hours of my life and $1,355.69.
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 11:47 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kick the boyfriend to the curb for starters if you are 100% it's his ad. The only smoke I want or need to hear about is the smoke coming out of your ears as I see you are fuming. Now give me 3 good reasons why a cig would help and please be convincing. Very Happy

Plus look at your QUIT DATE for Gods sakes you are 10 1/2 months into your QUIT and you are willing to toss that to the curb rather than the boyfriend Question Question Question
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smokefree04



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 66

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 12:04 PM    Post subject: Re: worthless men Reply with quote

I have tried in every reason to justify this and believe that it was someone at work that did it to him as he said, but:

1. How would they know I would find it?
2. How would they know the minute (sp?) details of his personality in that way?

He tried to tell me that he has passwords for everything on his desk and anyone could have gotten into his computer. He also said he used to have two accounts with that company (under the screen names I found) but that they were from before May when we started dating again. When I called customer service to get more info they said one was started 10.06.04 and the other 11.16.04. How am I supposed to reconcile this?

My best friend said she can't believe it because of the way that he treats me (like I am the best thing on earth) and said maybe his baby's mama did it.

I have had the feeling that something was going on for weeks and asked him a week or so ago if he had anything he needed to tell me and he said no. Then I find this.

I just don't understand.

As far as the smoking I don't know.

1. Maybe I could smoke myself to death?
2. Maybe it would sooth my nerves?
3. What difference does it make anymore?
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 12:16 PM    Post subject: Re: worthless men Reply with quote

saduffy wrote:


As far as the smoking I don't know.

1. Maybe I could smoke myself to death?
2. Maybe it would sooth my nerves?
3. What difference does it make anymore?


When it doubt Toss him out. At least I'd handle it that way. You either trust him or you don't. Keep in mind do what is best for you. Laughing Laughing

As far as the smoking reasons they are just a tad lame don't ya think Question Question Instead of smoking yourself to death you might just weez for years and years. To sooth your nerves not likely. Sooth your nerves by tossing darts at his picture or something useful. As to the last one maybe you should have mentioned you had Quit for him and not yourself. Or is that not the way it went down Question Confused Confused Confused
Confused
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smokefree04



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 66

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 12:18 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, I quit in January, long before we started dating again. (He is an ex boyfriend from 4 years ago; and incidentally a smoker).
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 12:23 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you think maybe he was an EX then for a reason. Question Question See you broke rule number one which applies to life as well as smoking.

NEVER LOOK BACK
Very Happy Very Happy

If you had applied rule number one he would have still been a EX and we wouldn't need to have this conversation. Laughing Laughing


Just for the record you can't count my post as the 5 needed for you to have time to think it over. I say I count as one and the 5 is defined by different poster's. Very Happy Very Happy
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 12:39 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I don't know how you're going to resolve this problem with your boyfriend. I don't pretend to be the agony aunt or have all the answers to life.

However, there is one thing I'm sure of...and that's that you not smoking or smoking has absolutely zero connection to your boyfriend, the internet site, or anything else bad in your life that may or may not be happening now or in the future.

Zero connection.. so, I ask you, why oh why do you think that having a fight with your boyfriend is a good reason to go have a smoke?

and, the favorite excuse Scowling Demon thinking of mine of all time..."What does it matter?"

I can't tell you how many times I used that one..."no one cares about me, so I'm just gong to go and smoke my brains out". Makes a lot of sense, that one, doesn't it? (not) Oh, and know what?

I can say now that if you think this gives you some kind of legal excuse to smoke again, then forget it. You won't get one iota of sympathy from me when you're kicking your own butt.

so, I hope that you resolve the problems, and kiss and make up....without even thinking about smoking! You can do this!
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bjj



Quit Date:
April 7, 2004

Posts: 1056
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 7:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not know the answer to your dilema with boyfriend although I think Melody makes a lot of sense! I do know smoking is not going to change anything except lower your self esteem. It does matter. You are worth something with or wihout boyfriend. Treat yourself with the respect you deserve. DO NOT SMOKE!
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Bonnie

"Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so".
Emile Coue
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 9:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah, Please don't let this problem with the boyfriend be an excuse to relapse. Smoking will not change what has happened. Not only will you have to feel bad about boyfriend problem but bigger than that you'll have to feel bad about the fact that you blew your quit. DON"T DO IT!
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 18, 2004 10:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I cannot give advice about the boyfriend as I tend to be like Melody on this....I never was one to compete for a guys attention...either I had it or I didn't in which case I would move on....

On the smoking, I also agree that it will not solve anything whatsoever. If you smoke the post will still be on the internet and whoever put it there still put it there. There is nothing the smoking will erase in your life but there is alot it can cause. Please do not throw a 10 1/2 month quit to the wind....smoking is not the answer and it is certainly not the solution!
Kay
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: November 19, 2004 1:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Please don't smoke. It's not worth the trouble and heartache. Which you already have enough heartache right now.

You need comfort. That's what you are looking for. And it is very understanable. But a cigarette will not be a comfort. The lie of the demon is telling you that it will be, but don't believe it. Smoking is not a comfort, it's an addiction. It will use any emotion, circumstance, or lie to get you to fall back into it's deadly snare. Yeah, I said DEADLY. Think about that word for a minute. It's true. You have a wonderful quit going. Over 10 months. That is something to be proud of. The boyfriend is not a "husband" to you. So act accordingly. If you doubt his committment to you on any level, it's better to rethink the relationship than to marry and be sorry for life. (I believe in married till death do you part). As in any unpleasant and difficult situation of life, there is stress, anger, or heartache. What can you or what have you done about these kinds of stress in the past while being quit. Apply them to this problem also. Don't smoke. You are worth so much more, than to cave because of a possibly cheating boyfriend.

Deb
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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bake10



Quit Date:
October 20, 2004

Posts: 407
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: November 19, 2004 1:00 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is the personal add a dating thing? I guess you can't really prove your boyfriend lie if it is a lie. Watch your back, don't trust to much. What ever you do not smoke, this will not help the situation. Laughing Jeri
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smokefree04



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 66

PostPosted: November 30, 2004 2:58 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't smoke and I am still pissed about the boyfriend thing.
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bake10



Quit Date:
October 20, 2004

Posts: 407
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: November 30, 2004 3:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I say brush it off, and pay close attention to his actions in the future. If you honestly think he is guilty, tell him that. If it makes you feel angry, let him know exactly how you feel. You have decide what you want to do in this relationship. We are resposible for our feelings, and only you can figure out how to deal with that. I don't meen to be harsh, but some how you have to get past this, weather it is leaving your boyfriend or excepting what might of taken place. I am sorry you are going through these emotions. I find that when I have an instict and my heart feels a certain way, 99 percent of the time I am right. Jeri
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