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Living with smokers

 
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Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: November 27, 2004 11:33 PM    Post subject: Living with smokers Reply with quote

Well Thanksgiving came and went. It was a lot of fun. First time not sitting and craving for ciggs all the ti.me Everyone smoked except for my boyfriend and I. At times it was a bit difficult because although I didn't want a cigg I knew if i were still a smoker, when I would have one.. Does that make any sense? As I sat sometimes i would think, oh im bored, what can i do, if i smoked..i would smoke. Which when i did my pack tracks, were mainly boredom ciggs hehe.

Some days are harder than others, and last week I had a really hard day. The day after thanksgiving I was with my boyfriend Friday night. He said to me that all day he wanted to smoke really bad, and he thought it was from being around smokers all day on thanksgiving at my house. Since he lives alone and no one smokes around him, he thinks because he probably got some sort of nicotine from being around it, and craved the next day. I was like yeah...welcome to how I feel most of the time, but i learned to deal with it, and now its normal and I don't feel like that.

It makes total sense to me. When I first quit I had such a hard time from being around smoke etc.

So to make a long story short... My heart goes out to all of you that live with smokers. Its hard enough to quit smoking, and living with smokers is not easy. You really have to march to the beat of your own drum. Thanks to all of you here on this site for being so supportive, because we are all doing something really amazing here. There are times when I think there are more smokers than non-smokers out there, but then i log on here and read..Its so comforting to know your not doing it alone!!

Mariko
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: November 28, 2004 12:17 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

actually, i think there are probably many more non-smokers than smokers (even in nyc), but we tend to notice the smokers more because we used to be them...

and you're right, mariko; we're doing something incredibly amazing here: we're choosing life. every day. and it doesn't get much better than that!

Smile
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kevin

the zen of the quit
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: November 28, 2004 6:25 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mariko, good for you for not smoking. I am in agreement with you, this is a great site full of wonderful Quitters.
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: November 28, 2004 11:24 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It has been a bumpy road over the last week with chain smoking hubby having surgery. Not the me not smoking part...the dealing with life part. It is getting better I suppose one day at a time.

Not being able to get to the boards when we stayed over night in a motel the night before the operation was a trying time. We had to get a smoking room. Sad Being trapped in a car, then a motel with a chain smoker was a bit much. I went out to our Blazer at one point during the night and sat there fuming. I went over in my mind how I would leave him after all this is over because he does not care enough about me to at least slow down his smoking.

Oh, I know he always asks, "Does this bother you?"

After 13 months??? Well hell yes!

But, because it really doesn't matter to his smoking mind he's going to smoke rather I do or not.

Then I sat back in the Blazer and thought about how much I do love him, all we have been through together. I could see where this thinking was taking me too. Right back to the arms of my addiction.

I really thought about how much easier it would be to smoke again then to keep feeling like no one in my 3D life gives a crap. My husband? That hurts.

If I were to smoke it would not be because I wanted too, I do not.

It would not be because I miss them, or would feel like I did before, because I have traveled too far to go back and feel like a smoker.

I would feel like someone that KNOWS if I raced out into the street without looking I could get mowed down by a car, or truck. I know too much…I know I would be killing myself with every puff.

I also know it would be a conscience choice to smoke again…not something that just sneaks up in the moment and happens.

I thought about this addiction, the hold the mind set. I hate it. I have stepped away from it but my hubby has not and as far as I can tell, is not ready or even willing to break free.

I knew I had to remember where I was 13 months ago. I was him for 30 years.

I like Mariko, feel with all my heart for all of us living with smokers. It is not easy at all. However, we still can do it.

I am not going to leave my husband because he is an addict. So am I. The only difference between us is he feeds his addiction I choose each day not to feed mine.

I also understand how my thinking about smoking can be destructive.

I thank God for all the stories, the support, and knowledge I have received over the last 13 months. I can promise you this…if not for what I have learned I would be a smoker today. Because of what I have learned I will
Quote:
choose not to smoke today…tomorrow will take care of itself
. (Kevin's words)

Thank you everyday for sharing.

Sandyz
been free for 403 days!
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 28, 2004 3:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good for you, Mariko. Those among us who are exposed to smokers on a regular basis have my sincerest congratulations. It's much more difficult for you to remain quit than it is for someone like me who is almost never exposed to smokers. I take my hat off to all of you. Very Happy
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Jo
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alleghany



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 2049

PostPosted: November 29, 2004 9:04 AM    Post subject: Re: Living with smokers Reply with quote

Marigrrl wrote:
My heart goes out to all of you that live with smokers.


I agree 100% ~ quiting under those circumstances is a major achievement and I am amazed at your courage and strength!

Congrats on being so strong and knowing how much better your future will be because of this choice (and how incredible it is for someone so young to know that so early!!! Smile )

Cool
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Quit date: June 6, 2004
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julie



Quit Date:
July 19, 2004

Posts: 224
Location: Indiana

PostPosted: November 30, 2004 4:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

My husband still smokes, but not around me. He smokes outside, too. Not in the house. He actually hides the ciggs from me, I think (and that is good!) I don't know if I could do it if the ciggs were right there next to me and he was constantly smoking in my face. I probably could not quit under those conditions. I feel for you all who are doing that. You should be very proud!!!!

Julie
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"Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering" (Heb. 10:32)
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: December 2, 2004 10:24 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

This was my first Thanksgiving as a non smoker too! I had a couple of urges but as soon as I realized that this is just one more first to do as a non smoker they vasnished. I am so glad to be free!

I am also very glad I do not live with any smokers. Very Happy
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: December 2, 2004 2:23 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I give you a ton of credit Mariko. My husband and I were the only smokers amongst our friends and family so it was always very hard for us. This was the first year we actually fit in. Oddly enough however, it was still very hard for me. On a good note though, this is the first Thanksgiving that I haven't come down with a cold. Hmmmmm.....I wonder why? Rolling Eyes Great job Mariko. Kerry
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