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Dana Rae



Quit Date:
January 22, 2005

Posts: 201
Location: Palatka, Florida

PostPosted: February 19, 2005 7:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh Sandy.
I read your post and my heart just sank for you and your family..honey I am truly sorry your going through this....being a mom is sure the hardest job there is...and I pray for your family that God will ease the pain in your hearts...and I must say when you chose not to smoke during this makes you a winner in my book because that would have made me crack...and I pray hardest for your son... Dana
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Backfist



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 340
Location: Rome, Georgia

PostPosted: February 19, 2005 8:06 AM    Post subject: take care! Reply with quote

Dear Sandy, I am so sorry to hear about your son. While I'm not a parent, I am someone's daughter. I know it would kill my dad if I had made some of the choices your son has. Given a few of my past "adventures," I can say, there but for the Grace of God . . . I pray that you will allow the grace of God to carry you through this. I second the advice of others in that your son is now a grown man who must bear the consequences of his actions.

After you have time to get used to this turn of events, you will--hopefully--be surprised by the interesting doors it opens for both you and him.

Until then, take care. Looks like you have the Don't Smoke rule firmly in front of you.

Dekie
2Y+
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THREEGRAND



Quit Date:
March 28, 2004

Posts: 631
Location: RHODE ISLAND

PostPosted: February 19, 2005 8:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know what to say Sandy because its all been said...I just want to tell you , your son, yourself and your family are in my prayers....gail
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: February 20, 2005 12:43 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy,

I was blabbering about Gus and did not realize your son had been sentenced. I know as a mother the pain you must be feeling...the helplessness, the agony and all the why's in the world. My daughter is 30 and is just now growing up....she too will pay for some of her choices. She was never in trouble with the police but probably just by the hair of her chiny chin chin Laughing Laughing

I admire you for not smoking but even more for being able to talk about this and not try to keep everything inside. I will not judge you either way, these babies do not come with instructions and all a parent can do is the best they can. I had to accept a while back that alot of the saddness was truly not my fault....I was young once and I made it....I made different choices....and there again, it all seems to come back to choice doesn't it.

You are not responsible for the choice your son made that day nor am I responsible for some of the choices my daughter made in her 20's....it is just life...and it can be very hard to separate ours from theirs but we must. You must go on with your life without any guilt because you are free from the choice he made that day. The guilt was always the hardest for me....hell I felt responsible for everything but thanks to many honest people on here...I soon learned that I had done the best I could....I had made good choices most of the time but most importantly, I was trying to better myself everyday...to listen and to learn from others who may have gone before me on an issue.

I hope you will let us help you through this if we can and to take some of the burden off of you.....If you can, Sandy, separate your deeds from his and find some peace in the fact that you are strong enough to help him through this. You have quit smoking, that will play a major part in his ability to get and stay clean....he will draw strength off of you... Sending lots of hugs and horse snorts Laughing
Kay
_________________

All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: February 20, 2005 2:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy two of my children are boys so I can imagine the tremendous pain you are feeling. I am so sad for your grief and I pray that you find peace. Kerry
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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: February 21, 2005 2:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy,
_________________

I wish you peace.

alison
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Braveheart



Quit Date:
January 2, 2004

Posts: 105
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: February 21, 2005 7:03 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy,

I am not good with words, but I will try. First, I hope you will be kind to yourself. As a Mom it is natural to try and blame everything that happens to our children on ourselves. I watched my Mother do it my whole life, but we just cannot carry all of that burden and survive in one piece.

God Bless you and your family, and your son. Sad

Connie
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" (Eleanor Roosevelt)
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kjsblue



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 756
Location: Nebraska

PostPosted: February 22, 2005 10:05 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Sandy - I feel bad that I wasn't here for you days ago...but I still want to wish you peace.
((((((((((SANDY))))))))))))

Kris
Six months, two weeks, 7 hours, 32 minutes and 33 seconds. 3966 cigarettes not smoked, saving $793.42. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 18 hours, 30 minutes.
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If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it -- William Arthur Ward

Q.D. August 8th, 2004
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: February 22, 2005 10:57 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy, I have been a way for a while, so just saw your post.
As you can see, many here love you and care. I pray that your son becomes Gods tool. I pray that he has a closer walk with God while in prison and that he can help others. I pray that God will turn this into a positive. I pray that God gives you the strength that you need to help you get through this knowing your son is in prison. I pray that He shows you what you can do. I pray for peace for you and your family. And I also take this time to thank God for you and your family. I thank God that no one was hurt during the robbery. May the Love of the Lord be with you, today and always, Sandy.

Love, Londa
_________________

My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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marcel



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 134
Location: Costa Rica

PostPosted: February 22, 2005 1:49 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I saw your post just now. Sorry to be so late!

Sorry to hear. I can't imagine all the pain you must be going thru at this moment.

I will pray for you and your son. For your family.

Good thing you aren't smoking anymore.

Hope things get better in some way.

Life is hard and sometimes we don't understand why things happen and turn back and ask God the reason of all the pain and sacrifice he puts us thru... well, I don't know either, maybe we will someday be rewarded for all this.

I wish you peace and quiet. Love and patience.

Marcel Rolling Eyes
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: February 22, 2005 8:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I again want to thank everyone for all the special prayers and love. Today after work was a bad day as I got a package of my sons thing's to keep for him while he is in prison.

Looking at such a small package made my heart ache thinking this is it? 30 years old and I could fit this package in my glove box.

He has left for Camp Hill and for the next 4 to 6 weeks, I will have no contact while he is being processed. I received a guide for families of loved ones that are in the correctional institution. It makes one wonder how much the human heart can take.

Knowing I am not alone and so many others have lived through worst gives me strength. I can do this, he can do this, we can all do this together.

If you may wonder what you can do, please set up a prayer chain. He is losing faith. I know this is normal but I fear for him.

Thank you all so much.

Still no strong thoughts of smoking...I cannot see how this could help. I have enough sadness with out adding to it. I will admit I have a few times looked at my hubby's smokes. Then I scream to myself...NO!

You may never know the help you all have given to me. This is going to be a long journey and at times I am so filled with fear. Then I remember the Lord is with me. And each of you. I find peace with this.

Sandyz
free for 489 days!
Smile
_________________

"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: February 24, 2005 7:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandy, my fear friend,

I am so sorry. I just now got around to reading this thread! I can't believe I've been talking to you and didn't know this! I want you to know how much I care, and that I will pray for your son, and that while I cannot know what you are going through, I have known other crushing and sorrowful things in life. I believe in my heart that you will be alright, and that your son will, too. But it is a heart-rending burden! STill, do not take any guilt on yourself, because as others told you, you have done what you could all your life for the best interest of your child.

Drugs are a terrrible thing, which can happen to anyone. I don't, in a way, even blame your son because it is so hard to make those choices some times when the drugs are just there or the people one knows are offering them. I do not know this first hand, but it was the counseling I received when my cousin also made the wrong choice, just as your son did. My aunt grieves as you do. My cousin is not in a correctional facility, but goes many times to rehabilitation but does seem able to reform or is unable to change his choice--I don't know. We lost an unborn child because his wife chose to go the same way as he did. I hope it was alright to tell you these things--I normally do not talk about it, but there are many these days with burdens because of drugs. I have often thought of my cousin during my Quit, and I will think now of your son, too. I hate drugs. I hate the people who sell them, and I appreciate now more than ever that addiction the most heart-breaking thing.

I did not know about this 6-weeks business. I'm so sorry for that. It does not seem fair to me, but you must keep your faith together, because your son will know and feel that.

About the Quit, I learned something recently! It's not the Quit that's hard, it is Life that is hard. Knowing that, I know there is no reason to smoke but more reason to concentrate on easing our burdens and those of others in life itself.

You are dear to me, Sandy. Write to me anytime. And perhaps you would consider writing your story as it happens, as poetry or whatever, to express those feelings which the rest of us lack the ability to do. Maybe that is too hard just now, but perhaps sometime you can do it.

My heart goes with you,
Margaret
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