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Dedicated to all male quitters, from Mr. Bill

 
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: May 2, 2004 12:13 PM    Post subject: Dedicated to all male quitters, from Mr. Bill Reply with quote

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!


(PS....Sorry ladies, just had to post this. Actually it came from our recent male guest from Paris....so just goes to show that sometimes you have to look at things in life from a different perspective....Pam)

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Carol



Quit Date:
December 9, 2009

Posts: 631
Location: Wisconsin

PostPosted: May 3, 2004 12:12 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Our dear dear Mr. Bill
Have noticed how many replies you have gotten to your post...HMMMM...tellin ya anything???????????????
It was very cute and gave me a laugh.
Thanks
BTW..hubby Bob liked it alot
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CAROL
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Lisaah



Quit Date:
May 2, 2004

Posts: 38
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: May 4, 2004 6:44 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pamela,

That is was hysterical. I'm at work right now and daggone it, I'm sitting here trying to muffle my laughing.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. My husband would appreciate that!

Thanks for the laugh to start the day off.

Have a great day!

Lisa
smoke-free for 2 days, 22 hours, 43 minutes and counting
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Lisa, Recovering Nicotine Addict
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