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See no evil

 
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Ken



Quit Date:
December 11, 2003

Posts: 138
Location: Estacada, Oregon

PostPosted: April 13, 2005 10:57 AM    Post subject: See no evil Reply with quote

Hear no evil, speak no evil.
Some times we put our head in the sand so that we can say that we don’t know anything about it. Or we want to attempt too know nothing about it, so that we can keep our conscience clear. As humans, we ignore the truth for what reason? Is it so that in our mind we can justify the wrong things we do, or is it something like we just simply want to keep our conscience clear?
Why do we do?
All those years that we smoked, didn’t we ignore the truths about the harmful effects of our addiction so that in our minds we could (?????) what?
Can we claim innocence because of ignorance?
For those of you who live in the warmer southern climates probably don’t see the cars on a cold morning billowing out tons of smoke before the engine has a chance to warm up. Well actually what we see is mostly harmless moisture and that moisture dissipates in a matter of a few moments, but what we don’t see is the deadly chemicals that we breathe. Is that not so much different than the cigarettes that we used to smoke? The smoke that we see from a cigarette is not so harmful to us, but it is the other one hundred plus toxic ingredients that are so deadly to us.
As humans, we are more willing to believe what we read.
Question, when you were a smoker, did you ignore the harmful ingredients of the cigarettes and the effects of the addiction?
What do you say today to a smoker?
Today – do a favor for someone you love or care about, that is addicted.
Give someone you love some writing information about the ingredients or the effects or the affects.
Help them get started in a direction that is healthy for them.
God Bless
Ken
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: April 13, 2005 11:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smile
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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jahunta



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: April 13, 2005 12:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ken,

It's funny you should write this with such an important plea. The person whom I share work space with smokes. So does her husband. It was quite unpleasant for the first days working here, now I don't mind so much. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to get her on the bandwagon, along with her husband. But when you have a pair (not unlike Eli & Robyn who are great quitters) who both smoke, and who WANT to continue to smoke, what can you do? I'm on Woofmang enough at work for her to have seen me here, but doesn't ask about it or hasn't sparked any kind of talk. It's kind of interesting. I agree with you whole heartedly. I just wish it were easy to do.

As for your questions:
Quote:
Question, when you were a smoker, did you ignore the harmful ingredients of the cigarettes and the effects of the addiction?

Sure did. I said what everyone says..."Eh, I have nothing to worry about. Nothing will happen to me". Until I couldn't sing. That made me quit post haste!!
Quote:
What do you say today to a smoker?

I say, I can't ever imagine I willingly poisoned myself to the point where I couldn't inhale enough to sing a 4 bar phrase! That I also was duped by it's being an appetite suppressant (which being overweight was great for losing weight...though working out for an hour and smoking within 1/2 hour afterwards, aint' too healthy), and that if I can take it one day at a time, I'll never have to worry about doing it ever again. Amen!!

Great observation Ken!

Nita
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QD: 2/15/04
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: April 13, 2005 11:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ken - I was asking myself the same questions - in a rant about Peter Jenning's cancer diagnosis and Kevin said:

Quote:
addicts never count the cost


The denial of the risk is an aspect of the addiction....I see from this side of the smokescreen that I was definitely an ostrich with my head buried in the sand. I can remember telling people it was ok....I could quit whenever I chose to. Well it wasn't quite that easy and it took me nearly 25 years to take that step!

I'm still thinking about what I can say to smokers to perhaps plant the seed of doubt that might grow into a quit. How can I help them to understand that they are truly poisoning themselves, killing themselves one cigarette at a time?

I can remember someone telling me that I was too smart to be a smoker...it didn't make me quit immediately...but it got me thinking...
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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marw



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: April 13, 2005 11:56 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think we are sometimes afraid of offending those we love by telling them the truth! To those who were not afraid to tell me, and did, in fact, nag me for years--I thank you!!! In the end everything that anyone had ever said to me about quitting was helpful in some way in the Quit!

Thanks, Ken.
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Margaret
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
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Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 14, 2005 12:45 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ken,

Good question! What do we say? I've had the opportunity a few times to talk to cashiers who rang up the box of patches I was purchasing, and who asked questions. Which is good!! But, like you said, what about those who aren't at the moment ready to admit or face the addiction?

I thought about this last night while I was with my sister. Number one, I believe we have to avoid appearing ...."self-righteous". When I smoked that turned me off quicker than anything.

Most important, I believe, is just sharing the truth with kindness and in a non-judgemental manner.

Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Ken



Quit Date:
December 11, 2003

Posts: 138
Location: Estacada, Oregon

PostPosted: April 14, 2005 10:36 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb is right on, appearing to be self-righteous will turn most everybody off. Nagging isn’t quite as bad, but it still will cause a negative reaction. Preaching will have a similar reaction, that is why printed material is the best. With printed material you avoid coming off in a negative manor.
Remember – caring, sharing, that’s the way to be.
God Bless
Ken
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Angel



Quit Date:
November 11, 2004

Posts: 208
Location: MI

PostPosted: April 14, 2005 11:29 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have to (very respectfully) disagree with Kevin's comment that addicts never count the cost. I was counting that cost every day I smoked. The stress I was inflicting upon myself by worrying about cancer, COPD, blindness, nagging cough, smelling offensive, etc was probably far more harmful to me than the poison I was ingesting, which is to say I was more than doubling the hazards to my health because I most definitely did count the cost. In the end, that is what convinced me to quit. If anything, others encouraging me to quit, lovingly or not, consistently made me want to smoke in their face. It was a case of "the truth hurts' and I hated having my weakness pointed out and commented on. I already felt ashamed and enslaved without someone I didn't even know giving me grief over it. But maybe that was just me. I never felt like it was no big deal that I smoked, except for maybe the first few months when I was doing my best to become an addict.

What to do for others to help them quit? Enjoy your freedom! Embrace life and if they come to you for help/advice, be there. My husband still smokes and I still hug and kiss him, I still sit next to him when watching tv in the evening, I don't complain when he smokes in my truck and I try not to make him feel ashamed. I know he already feels ashamed, but just isn't ready to step off that ledge yet. It breaks my heart that he continues to smoke, but I know that I can't make him quit. All I can do is love him and hopefully make his life so valuable to him that he is willing to do the work involved in quitting to stay with me longer.

So my answers to the questions (1) yes, I worried and stressed about the poisons and effects every time I lit up. I mentally beat myself up every day. I was sure that every cold I had was just the precursor to lung cancer, every cough was my final warning, but I couldn't break free. (2) I don't say anything to smokers unless they ask me. Maybe that's cowardice on my part, but I really don't think there was ANYTHING anyone could have said to me to convince me to quit. When I came here looking for help, I was then ready to receive it.
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iwantosing



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 338
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: April 14, 2005 8:29 PM    Post subject: about see no evil Reply with quote

hi eveyone, i have been thinking about you guys. this forum is a little difficult for me to navigate, i am never sure that i am in the right room or whatever. thank you to mary and tamy for their concern. i have not been here since sunday i think. its been going ok, i am having more problems sleeping than i expected. i read that you have to be careful with coffee because it metabolizes differently without the nicotine. i loved my fresh coffee and ( we dare not speak his name) at night it was my greatest reward for a day packed with hard work. i do work hard and have not quite figured out what my reward is. but now that i am writing to you i think.. .are you kidding? i am like angel,.i have not smoked a cig in 20 years that did not cause me so much anxiety and quilt, my gosh i hated myself every day. so when i wake up i say to myself self you did not give anything up you willingly chose to sing and run and laugh, and you know what i am at peace, i feel good about myself something that i can't remember ever feeling. i can go to the Lord's table on sundays now without this nagging thought...is this one of those sins that you have to get rid of before you come to this table? well i don't worry about that anymore. and i always wanted to whistle. how do you learn to whistle? i have been practicing while i walk but i don't know what i am doing.so for now it has been relatively easy to ignore the craves........i know the Lord is pleased with me, and i am ok . thanks for caring. I imagine from what i read that it gets tough like right out of the blue. so thats scary. i will just keep praying and singing and running and laughing and learning to whistle.from peg
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My name is Peg, I decided I wanted to sing to the Lord, run with my son, laugh and learn to whistle, the cigs had to go!! Quit Date 3/28/05
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
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Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: April 14, 2005 11:31 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Peg,

You are doing great!!!

The coffee,...don't worry! Yes, we only need about 1/2 as much...but you sound like me...drinking it in the evening too. Wink Just be careful. For the first couple of weeks, I had to drink decafe to adjust, because the coffee was keeping me awake at night! Shocked But around the 3rd week, started to ease the regular back into the night routine, and now I'm drinking like always did.

The singing, and positive attitude is the BEST thing you can do!!! The happier we are and content we are and at peace we are....the easier the quit!!! So, keep up the faith and keep up the smiles!!! You are awesome! WTG on the quit!

Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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iwantosing



Quit Date:
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Posts: 338
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: April 15, 2005 10:56 AM    Post subject: positive triggers also Reply with quote

Hi everyone, do you guys have positive quit triggers also? Like this morning it is a beautiful day!!! I thought wow, this is a beautiful day to sit out with my fresh cup of coffee and (do we dare say its name). But, i had a doctors appointment. Doctors appointments were always so filled with anxiety for me. they ruined my day because i did not want to go in smelling like a ciggy so i had to plan everything around that so i could get home in time for a shower.....it really was a pain in the neck. well this morning i had an appoinment at 10am, and i just went like everyone else and it felt soooooooo good driving there i practiced my whistling the whole time. i found a website that teaches you how to whistle!!!!! is that grand or what? and its the perfect thing for me to do with my mouth in stead of smoking cause i always dreamed of doing it ..i love to hear people whistling in a store or park. so anyway there are just as many times when it feels great not to be smoking as far as triggers go. but still it would be nice when i forget about it , do you ever forget about smoking? is that part of the price of addiction? your body never forgets? that could be depressing but i won't dwell on it. thanks for listening peg
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My name is Peg, I decided I wanted to sing to the Lord, run with my son, laugh and learn to whistle, the cigs had to go!! Quit Date 3/28/05
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jahunta



Quit Date:
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Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: April 15, 2005 11:28 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Iwantosing,

Positive triggers are a daily thing for me. I just turned 14 today, and almost forgot!! There are whole weeks now I go without thinking about smoking. At the beginning, it wasn't always so. It was really difficult, but after a couple of weeks... where you're about now, your whole outlook changes. You can smell, you can breathe, and you realize what you were missing. Once you get used to it, it's easy to forget. The realization the first day I went without thinking about a cigarette was a glorious day for me. I was so happy!! I couldn't go an hour without thinking about a smoke before. All of a sudden, I could go a whole day without thinking about one. Waking up is a joy, walking, whistling, singing, laughing, working out, petting my kitties, it's all a wonderful world when you quit. All the more reason to keep counting your blessings and keep your quit going.

Nita
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QD: 2/15/04
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