quit smoking support @ woofmang.com
people helping people beat the addiction to nicotine
 
help support our communityDonate FAQFAQ SearchSearch RSS FeedRSS Feed MemberlistMemberlist RegisterRegister ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in

My Husband is Killing me Slowly

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 2, 2005 1:54 AM    Post subject: My Husband is Killing me Slowly Reply with quote

Very Happy Hi All,

Well, Sunday was not too awfully bad for me for a change. When I say that it's because my husband and I were for the most part civil to one another even when we were disagreeing. sp? I did cry so hard last week though that I got a pounding migraine that just let up but never really went away. I have an appointment with a doctor this week for that. It could be anxiety or high blood pressure from what I hear.

Sunday my husband and I went to Monticello in Charlottesville. It was really beautiful up there. As usual, my husband was smoking in the car and now tonight I can barely catch my breathe. I have COPD and asthma. I've tried everything to get my husband to not smoke around me. I even once had him go into the examining room with me the day I saw the doctor for the treatment for my COPD. The doctor told him I should not be around 2nd smoke. If you knew how my mind worked back then from no self esteem after years of mental abuse coming at me from so many people you would understand. I wrote in my journal at that time that trying to play a game like I did by having a doctor tell my husband I should not be around 2nd smoke is what I get for that game to fail. In other words, playing mind games is wrong so that was my punishment.

Well, I've gotten most of my self esteem back this year. I have lost many a quits since 03 on count of low self esteem. Everyone kept telling me I need to love myself but I never could understand how some one could do that, love themselves. After all, the people around me who seemed to love themselves seemed self centered, and selfish. I didn't see how there could be 2 separate self worths, one who could also be kind and giving, while the other one selfish and self centered. I don't know if these people love themselves really and it's not for me to say. All that is my concern is myself, and I am understanding now how to love myself as everyone would use to always tell me I needed to do. I cannot really say much more except that I am worth keeping this quit of mine. No one is worth me losing my quit over. I am so worth it to keep it and to love myself, and to look out for me.

I also went to church Sunday morning before my trip to Monticello. Thank you all for so much loving, caring support. I have so many plans to make and take care of.

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: May 2, 2005 7:15 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Selfish people do not love themself as they don't know how. To love yourself only opens up more for you to share around. That dear little husband of yours is not thinking of you in my opinion. Now what are you planning on doing about that?????
_________________

I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: May 2, 2005 8:48 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barb,

As you know I agree with Melody. Your husband is an abuser and abusers tipically do not think of others only what they can themselves get out of others. That is not in my opinion caring about others or how they feel.

My x husband was one of those. And he would figure it is my house my car my life and I will do as I please. If you don't like me smoking here then leave.

I am not suggesting in any way that you do this unless you so choose to do so. But I do suggest next time he smokes in the car and your in it . Open the window wide and let the smoke roll on out past you. If it is cold hey so much better then he will maybe get the hint and put the cigarette out while you are in the car.

If you need me you know how to get a hold of me either call or email and I am also still on messenger.

(((Barb)))


Leona
_________________

Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: May 2, 2005 9:13 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Barb,

I'm so very proud of you for working at turning your life and emotions around. Just continue to tell yourself how special you are. Your husband seems to be somewhat selfish in that he won't even give up smoking around you when he knows how damaging 2nd hand smoke is to you. I have to advice, just a soft shoulder to cry on and you may use it anytime you like. God bless you.
_________________

LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 2, 2005 9:44 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

i wish i had some good advice for you, barbara, but only you know what's best for you, and i'm sure you'll do what's right for yourself.

btw: jefferson is one of my favorite historical figures, and i so wish i'd been able to get to monticello when i was in charlottsville (at a conference at uva) a few years back; unfortunately, i got sick towards the end of the week (when i had some free time to go out there), so i couldn't make the trip. Sad

but i'm glad you had a good time! Smile
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: May 2, 2005 10:39 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

{{{{hugs}}}}}}}


~Im.
_________________

Imagen-29 (The ever so "flexible willow")
3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: May 5, 2005 6:39 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Love is never selfish. It shouldn't be.

Love: All beings want to be loved and accepted. That is something you can GIVE to them. Love completely, unselfishly, and unconditionally.

I am happy you are understanding how to love yourself, there are so many positive things about you that many people love, glad you are seeing it too. Smile

hugs
mariko
_________________

Follow Your Bliss
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 6, 2005 3:44 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Thanks Mariko,

Blessings,
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

quit smoking support
woofmang dot com