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MINE IS KILLING ME FASTER!

 
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LANEY



Quit Date:
January 12, 2011

Posts: 322
Location: OHIO

PostPosted: May 5, 2005 1:32 AM    Post subject: MINE IS KILLING ME FASTER! Reply with quote

OK, Yea, I know I sound like a " drama queen", Rolling Eyes but it just hit me as I was reading the other rant, I'm not going into a lot of detail right now, but I just more or less was giving up on my life. I'm suppose to have a cat scan of my lungs done. I havent had a smoke, not even a puff of a cig since March 8th.I started coughing up blood and went to the E.R. Scowling Demon Im still short of breath.Just getting up to answer the phone, ( my husband was on there and asked me why I'm out of breath,) he thought I was painting or something, I was just sitting. It's that noticable. You would think hed drag me off to a dr, but doesnt say a thing. Just bitches because hes tired of the clutter around the house. I dont have the energy to do everything, and nobody cares. I have to watch my grandsons, their other grandparents wont help, except maybe once a week and I dont know how much longer I can do it, I'm exausted. i got another call this morning from the x-ray dept. wanting me to call and make the app. P-L-E-A-S-E. I left the machine take the message this morning, while my son sat right there and didnt say a word.. I had a long talk with a friend last night and realized I have nothing to look forward too, my whole life sucks, Crying or Very sad my husband is playing head games with me, I made the mistake of believing him when he said he was going to get me a car. (this is another whole rant, you guys will love that one, when im ready to spill my guts!) He gave me the keys, the book that comes with it. Loaded with everything, convertable. We were going to get it monday, within a hour, it was canceled, over done, gone. I cant handle the head games. I almost gave up, willing to give up on my life, it was that bad. I actually put away some of the income tax money to pay for my my own cremation. Pretty freaking morbid, right? Well, whether he likes it or not, I'm not going to roll over and play dead! Im calling the dept. and getting a app, he wont let me drive, so he will be hauling my ass all over town. Wink This isnt the end of my rants, It's just the beginning! Oh yea, the stashed money? I'm shopping! I dont even have to leave the house, Laughing and I can spend it! Laney...I have been quit for 1 Month, 3 Weeks, 6 Days, 23 hours, 20 minutes and 59 seconds (57 days). I have saved $326.08 by not smoking 2,898 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Week, 3 Days, 1 hour and 30 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/8/2005 2:00 AM
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Life isn't about how to survive the storm........ But how to dance in the rain. author unknown
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: May 5, 2005 10:43 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laney, yes, make that appointment, and above all, don't let anyone control you like that. You have the power. Don't get sad, it makes you passive. Get angry so that you can get active. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're less. Take care. Kerry

Last edited by Kerry on May 5, 2005 3:28 PM; edited 1 time in total
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: May 5, 2005 12:12 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, Laney, I agree with Kerry. You're far to valuable to be walked on. Please get that appointment made and get these tests behind you. You'll then be able to plan. With that hanging over your head, you probably can't get your mind on anything else.

My prayers are with you. Be strong, my friend.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Imagen27



Quit Date:
July 12, 2005

Posts: 234
Location: Washington State

PostPosted: May 5, 2005 12:16 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hang in there, line your ducks up, and do what needs to be done...

You're in my prayers...

~Im
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Imagen-29 (The ever so "flexible willow")
3 wonderful girls, 12, 10 and 3
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 6, 2005 2:28 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crying or Very sad Laney,

I can really feel for how you must feel. Quitting smoking for me has changed me to be more firm in what I believe in which seems has been rocking the boat in my marriage. You have your hands full babysitting, hubby, and the medical test you need. It may be still hard for awhile. All I can do for you is give you a big hug. {{{{{Laney}}}}} You know your situation more than anyone so you will know what's right for the situation. Can you ask for some help with babysitting or something else from someone that may give you some time for yourself?

Blessings,
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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LANEY



Quit Date:
January 12, 2011

Posts: 322
Location: OHIO

PostPosted: May 7, 2005 2:02 AM    Post subject: HI! Reply with quote

Thanks for the push I needed to call and set up the appointment for the cat scan. They told me I need to have a blood test first because of my diabetes. She mentioned something about the dye they will shoot me up with. I asked her to fax my dr the info and I'd go get the blood taken there, they have their own lab in the office, They have no idea whats going on.They were going to check into it and get back to me A.S.A.P. That was yesterday!! So if they ever figure it out, I'm going to have to wait until next Thursday to get over there, then wait for the results before they will do the cat scan, then wait for those results!! Just keeps getting better & better! Keep ya posted. Sinc, Laney....... I have been quit for 1 Month, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 23 hours, 57 minutes and 26 seconds (59 days). I have saved $337.47 by not smoking 2,999 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Week, 3 Days, 9 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/8/2005 2:00 AM
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Life isn't about how to survive the storm........ But how to dance in the rain. author unknown
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: May 7, 2005 6:55 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laney...Please see a Dr. and let me know what is going on.

You have no idea the positive influence you have had on my life. Don't think about ways to end your life, you are a gift to many of us.

I am saddened by your post. Please know my prayers are with you.

Sandyz
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"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: May 8, 2005 12:04 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laney,

Please stay after the people until you get your appt set....keep us informed as to the results....Laney, you are too precious to even think of morbid thoughts.....you know this...don't let anyone make you feel that bad.....you are so worth being respected and loved.
Kay
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All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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