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To those we've left behind....

 
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jahunta



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1129
Location: Silicon(e) Valley, CA

PostPosted: May 14, 2004 1:56 PM    Post subject: To those we've left behind.... Reply with quote

I was just thinking whatever happened to a lot of people on our boards? I look at the member list and realize that a lot of these people who were here during their first weeks or so of quitting have mysteriously disappeared. I am hopeful that most have made it on their own, and are busy with their lives and have kept quit, but know that that may not be the case for everyone and there are some who've chosen to feed their addiction again. We all know how insidious this addiction is. I'd like to just send out some positive vibes to those, if they've left the fold, that they be in good spirits and that they may somehow find their way to freedom...

Here's to the ones we've left behind...



Nita
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Quitting is Living!!!
QD: 2/15/04


Last edited by jahunta on May 14, 2004 3:47 PM; edited 1 time in total
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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: May 14, 2004 2:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is by far the hardest part of this kind of support. I hurts to lose someone (and they really feel "lost" to you). I lost Lynn last year and I was so sad.

If anyone has a e-mail for one of our lost souls send then a hello from time to time letting them know we are here for them. When you get tired of that tell them to "Get their butt back here". I made a best friend from a lost soul who knows where your next friend will come from. Reach out, you never know someone may just reach back.
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I wish you peace.

alison
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: May 14, 2004 2:18 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Alison, that's a good idea. I don't know if any of you remember Cora from Brasil...she was a quit buddy of mine. She had started smoking again a few weeks after her quit...a few a day....but still stayed on the boards. She also came here to read posts. She was so upset when she saw her one month luniversary announced....and she E mailed me to ask my advice. She knew she wasn't really quit, but was too embarrassed to say. I told her to take her quit date out of her profile, so that it won't automatically trigger a message in the future. I think I'll send her an E mail when I finish this.

But, I think there are also a lot of people who register, quit, but just don't post. Just this morning, I saw that one of the "luniversary" people from yesterday was online....but I've never seen a post from them. So, many of the registere quitters are still with us...they are just quietly quitting. Or quietly smoking, getting the courage to come back.

And, even if they have lost the quit....well, at least they came here, registered, and gave it a shot. I really feel sorry for the smokers out there who can't even get enough courage to try.

So, buddy, maybe your good vibes will be just enough to push one smoker over the boundry to take the step and just stop smoking!
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FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
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Zuzu



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: May 14, 2004 3:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't have personal email addresses for folks that have disappeared from here. Most of the folks that quit around the same time as I, back on FFS, have relapsed. I stay in touch with my little quit buddy group.

I thought it was interesting that when they relapsed they did NOT want to share that on the boards and many just quietly disappeared. When I asked them why they replied that they felt it was so hard to stop smoking and they didn't want their relapse to demoralize others.

I found their reasons interesting. I encouraged, when ready, to come back for support if this was a useful venue for them to receive support.

-Zuzu
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Ken



Quit Date:
December 11, 2003

Posts: 138
Location: Estacada, Oregon

PostPosted: May 14, 2004 3:38 PM    Post subject: What ever happened Reply with quote

Well,
Everybody looks through different eyes, so they see things differently. There were six of us that quit together. One person disappeared, she was having boyfriend problems and you know what that can do to you, two of us are active on the boards, and the other three have elected to not smoke, but do not spend any time here. They are busy doing other things, like Carolbeth had a baby a couple months back and as you know that takes up a lot of time and the others are doing their own thing. Now for myself, it took me about a month to get her and I probably would not be here today, but one particular person (not naming her) talked me into coming here and I have to say it, loving it.
Hope that's helpful
Ken
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: May 14, 2004 10:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am like a little mother hen, have been all of my life. When we have any kind of function I won't rest until everyone is accounted for. In the evening I don'r rest until my children are home safe and sound. Tonight I am waiting on my mother in law to arrive from 3 hours away. I won't go to bed until she is here. I feel the same way about the ones who disappear after signing on. I wonder so often about where did they get off to. I hope they are not smoking where ever they are. I hope that if they relapsed that they will come back and start a new quit. I appreciate it when someone lets us all know when they are going to be away or to busy to post. This mother hen likes her chicks to be accounted for Laughing
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Carol



Quit Date:
December 9, 2009

Posts: 631
Location: Wisconsin

PostPosted: May 15, 2004 12:50 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have had one on one contact with a few that are no longer posting. some have started smoking again, and are embarrassed, ashamed and afraid the will have disappointed us, so they don't come back to the boards. They read our posts and I encourage them to come back and at least let us know if they are ok. If there are certain people that you are concerned about send them a PM. It will come into their inbox so at least they know they are being thought about. That is how I got in contact with some of them.
And there are some who have chosen to not post to the boards for whatever reason but are still smoke free. And I think some just prefer to be left alone right now.
I remember being all upset about this over on the old boards, and it is sad to have people relapse and to lose contact with them. And you can look at it from the perspective of what a miracle each one of us that are still smoke free are. It gives me such humble gratitude.
Because there but for the grace of God go I.
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WALK TALL WALK PROUD
CAROL
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