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Many troubles at once!! And smoking crave, too..

 
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: November 2, 2005 11:53 PM    Post subject: Many troubles at once!! And smoking crave, too.. Reply with quote

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I am still here. My friend's mother to whom I am very close had a stroke and I have been spending evey night at the hospital until 12 midnight. She was not expected to live (93 years old) but when taken from the respirator, she is still living, but cannot move or speak...she is on a feeding tube. I must be there for my friend.

Then when I got home last night, I had a message that my own mother fell and broke her hip (she is also 93) and was having surgery right then. I called...she lives out of state....and my brother answered ...he was in her room at the hospital. I am so lucky to have him and my sis-in-law, who take care of Mom. I am so far away!! Today I talked to her on the phone....could not believe she was up and walking about (with her walker, of course) the day after surgery. I want to go see her so much!! But I have no money. Not sure what I will do.

If I am not here, do not fret. I will be back. I cannot usually tie up my phone line and only have 1 phone line.

I am not gonig to have heat this winter, or very little. My landlord came today and checked my radiators....they are fine....he said he is keeping it at 68 only...the legal limit, and no more because of the in increase in gas prices! I need heat for my kind of Fibomyalgia, or it will get worse. I will probably move, but I can't do it now.

Saw my physical therapist, and there is a lot of damage to my back from the fall I took a couple of weeks ago. Don't remember if I posted it. I am in a lot of pain, and they are putting my back into place again each time (like chiropractors, sort of), but so far it is not holding very well. I think it will get better, because tonight I did not go to the hospital and went to the YMCA and I see that I am better.

I found out that I cannot teach without reapplying.....I lost my status because I let too many days go by without working. Sad

I have had some bad smoking urges during the friend's Mom's stroke. It is so hard to watch someone who is most likely dying, and who cannot speak to say what they need. It was really horrible when we took her off the respirator, as though we were killing her. The urges were like "just one", "Can't I just have one?" I have not experienced that "just one" stuff since the first week of my Quit. I knew intellectually what it was of course, and even how to deal with it, but it was so scary. Emotions are so illogical.
It has gone away now, and I so hope it does not return. I did not smoke, of course, but like I said, it was awful during the time these urges were going on....not that they were bad, like the withdrawal at the beginning, but that I felt out of control and like I was really going to do it. Thank goodness for my training here and all the knowledge that I have, because it saved me.

Hope everyone is doing well, and forgive me for not congratulating you, or answering posts. I just can't tie up the phone. And also, I have not decided, but I may try to go to see my own mother, if I possibly can.

Oh yes, and the latest blow.....that made me so very sad....it's not a health issue .....just something I loved, and have now lost....but not even mine, really. My aunt is selling her condo in Florida, and I will not be able to go there anymore. I just wanted to cry. Sad ANd the time share that she owned besides the regular condo was blown completely away in the Hurricane last year. I didn't know this before because I haven't been down there. It is tragic. THey will not get their money back from it, or not very much. THe Hilton hotel also was blown away on our stretch of the beach.

Take care, and I will be back online whenever I can.

Thinking of you,
_________________

Margaret
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 1:28 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

sending you lots of prayers...always remember...smoking will NOT make anything better....don't let Scowling Demon make any decision for you...

say it with me... I AM IN CONTROL....I DECIDE....I CHOOSE LIFE
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 1:43 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry to hear that you're going through tough times, margaret. hang in there; you'll be ok.
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 1:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret,

So much on your plate right now....My thoughts and prayers are with you..

I know you will stand strong, and do no harm to this precious quit....You are loved and respected by many, so hold on tight to you.....

Sending your strength and positive thoughts.......................

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Pam
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Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction....
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jlynn931



Quit Date:
September 22, 2016

Posts: 785
Location: MA

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 8:05 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

margaret,
sorry to hear you are having suc a tough time right now. keep remembering that smoking will nt help. it will only make things worse. good luck getting to go see your mother.
jenny
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 8:56 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret,

I'm sorry to hear of your news. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

I'm so glad to hear that the Scowling Demon didn't suck you back, because you know, that he is a big fat liar who robs us of our life. Kick his butt girl and keep your chin up, we are all here for you.

Deb
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 4:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stay strong, Margaret, you have a lot on your plate right now, but you've made it before and I know you'll make it again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm sending you a smile Smile and a ((((hug)))) to help you get through this. Take care of yourself and hurry back.
_________________

Essie
4/14/04
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 5:50 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Margaret,

So sorry to hear of all that's been happening in your life. I'll keep you in my prayers.
_________________

LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 5:59 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret, sometimes one has no words when you hear such troubles.
So here is my hug to you:


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Margaret)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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swaneem



Quit Date:
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Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 8:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Margaret,

We've already spoken about your friend's mom.....but yours....93 yrs old and walking immediately after hip surgery......she's INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!
She sounds like my grandfather who died at 102 years old. They don't make them like that anymore!!!!

Take care of YOURSELF, Margaret. Don't wear yourself out. Buy yourself some very warm slippers to keep your feet warm......warmth starts with the feet.

I'll be thinking of you.

Donna
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Just when the caterpillar thought his world was
coming to an end..........God made him a
BUTTERFLY.
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marw



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 8:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks everyone. I am better. MY friend's Mom is not better, but it may be for the best; she is completely paralyzed.

I had that wrong about my mother walking already. SHe is actually just sitting up everyday in a chair, not walking. THe PT does massage everyday on her hip, and they expect to have her walking soon. She is going back to the Nursing home tomorow. SHe lives in some famous Nursing homes called "The Green Houses." She has been written up, along with the Green House in the NY Times newspaper, the Chicago Tribune, and others. She is also on the internet. I'll have to post the addy so you all can see her. SHe is quite something!

I am staying home tonight, so I might get some posting done.

THanks again! Smile Smile

P.S. I called the landlord again about the heat; now he says he may have it higher. Nonetheless, I want to move. I ask him about breaking my lease, but he avoided answering that. Tomorrow I'm buying a thermometer and keeping a record of the heat in here. I'll break this lease if it is too cold in here, and I'm going to start keeping records, in case I have to go to court over it.
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Margaret
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Cowgirl UP!



Quit Date:
July 26, 2004

Posts: 5029
Location: Ala

PostPosted: November 3, 2005 11:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stay strong Margaret....this too shall pass as the old saying goes.... glad your Mother is doing so well.
Kay
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All with a little help from my friends, COWGIRL UP
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marw



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: November 5, 2005 2:41 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

THanks, Kay, and everyone else also. I talked to my mother on the phone today. She is back at the Nursing home. SHe is very cheerful, but confused. SHe thinks she is still at the hospital.....I couldn't figure this out, but my bro said he has put a hospital bed in her room for now...she had her own bed from her home in there before....so she can't fall out at night.
She is in good spirits, but it will take a while for her hip to mend. She seems to be racing around in a wheelchair...let's hope she doesn't crash that! Laughing ...don't mean to make fun fo her...she is a dear....she is just funny sometimes, and fun to be with, too!! Oh, how I miss her!! Sad

My friend's mother is doing better, which is actually NOT better in a way, because she is paralyzed completely....and cannot talk or move. Yet she has pulled through now, and is eating, but of course, has to be fed. I don't know whether to be glad or sad. It will be a hard way to live. SHe is going either to a Nursing home or Hospice tomorrow.

I am getting depressed again. I try not to, but I just feel down. And those smoking urges show up. Not to worry, I will not smoke. It is just aggravating. I don't think it is a real urge...or even a wish for a cig...I think it is just a wish for better times.

THanks again for listening.
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Margaret
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