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mtwilsonranch
Quit Date: January 20, 2006
Posts: 1863 Location: nevada
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Posted: January 28, 2006 1:44 PM Post subject: Keeping my Quit |
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It has been suggested that I try to express my emotions when they occur, it just might help to keep this quit......
I am feeling so down on me, Now logic tells me that I need to get over my fall...but when I would have been 7 months free on the 26th of this month, I just want to scream......and the depression of not knowing where or how my #1 child is driving me insane with worry...I get so angry with him, so hurt and I am so confused as to why this should happen.....How can I turn off my heart and thoughts....I know this is the Big Trigger, reason tells me I cannot do anything about this situation, I have to let all things be as they are....I can do that for awhile, then when special days, like a birthday, Christmas, family get togethers, then the dpression hits....and I find that I cannot function, I just shut down
I lost my quit of almost 7 months free from nicotine, 5 cigarettes, and that beast has hope.......So it is a little stronger this time but I am taking it one day at a time.....it is all I can do to keep myself positive........
Thank you Kay for suggesting that I try to post my emotions, that it just might help me stay on this journey, because in the past, I used smoking as a tool to deal with my emotions............
Pam _________________
Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction.... |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: January 28, 2006 2:02 PM Post subject: |
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Pam, it's great to hear from you. We all know that quitting isn't easy and many of us have fallen into the clutches of over and over again.
OK, so you slipped. I'm certain it's disheartening to look back and feel that you wasted 7 months. That time isn't wasted, though. Just think about all you learned about quitting; all the secrets to surviving those cravings.
So now, you've begun again but that time wasn't wasted. What you learned then is still with you and you can go on and learn even more.
Just know that we're all here to help. God forbid, one of us may slip too and need to lean on you. Just stay strong, my friend. _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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alison
Quit Date: June 3, 2003
Posts: 751 Location: Next Stop, Michigan
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Posted: January 28, 2006 2:07 PM Post subject: |
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Pam,
First of all you didn't lose your quit you just misplaced it. I am thrilled for you because you found it and are walking the walk again. Please don't dwell on the past. Every morning is an opportunity to create a whole new life. It's great that you have written of your feelings, that is what this place is here for, but I am hoping that you can let go of your disappointment and take joy in your new resolve.
Some folks need a little more reinforcement than others. You know more clearly what you want now. Hold tight, you now have an understanding of how precious this quit really is.
((((Pam))))
Welcome back to the freedom. _________________
I wish you peace.
alison |
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swaneem
Quit Date: -
Posts: 1298 Location: Arizona
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Posted: January 28, 2006 2:19 PM Post subject: |
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Pam,
It just seems to me that life isn't getting easier....there is always something to deal with....and there's been so much sadness on this Board in just a short time.
Smoking will not change any of this nor make anything go away. It can't possibly make things better.....only worse.
Pam, you have NOT LOST the 7 months you didn't smoke.....that's impossible. Your body had 7 months of healing and you were strong enough to get right back after a very BRIEF relapse. Only your quit date has changed....a small detail...which cannot negate the long period you've been smoke-free. Forget the new quit date....concentrate on the "record" of 7 months.
Just live for the moment....keep posting......and DON'T SMOKE.
Hugs,
Donna _________________
Just when the caterpillar thought his world was
coming to an end..........God made him a
BUTTERFLY. |
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Deb
Quit Date: February 5, 2010
Posts: 967 Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)
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Posted: January 28, 2006 2:20 PM Post subject: |
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Pam,
Your being way to hard on yourself. You did not lose a 7th month quit but, gained 7 months of being smoke free. This time around you are more experienced and will know what to expect.
Your doing a great job. We all know that smoking won't make you worry any less if anything, it just causes more problems. I think this is why it's such a tricky addiction, we feel saddened and pain and trys to lure us back in by suggesting he can ease the pain......LIAR.
Hang on and take it one day at a time. I know that worrying and being a Mom goes hand in hand so know that your in my thoughts and prayers.
Post, post, post but, dont's smoke. You are worth so much more!!
Deb |
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marw
Quit Date: -
Posts: 3634 Location: Chicago, IL
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Posted: January 28, 2006 6:30 PM Post subject: |
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Pam, the others are right about the 7 months that y ou did not smoke. Your lungs were healing then, and you still have that. The only part you got back was the addiction, and health is more important and you still have that. You will soon be rid of the addictionagain, too, so don't worry about that part.
I heard 2 different emtions here, so maybe you might be confusing them?
One was that you were sad that you lost the 7 months quit and had to start it again, and the other was worry for your child. Those are 2 different things, so maybe if you look at it like that, you can tell when you are thinking about cigs, and when you are lonely and worried for your child. An emotion is not a crave. When you get them separated, you will find they even feel different. ANd then you will find you are not relly craving as much as you think. Youre most likely sad instead, so perhaps you can think of some things to cheer yourself up.
I can only imagine the fear you must go through, but that is still not a crave. So knowing that, perhaps you can distract yourself from it. It will not help to think about it. Do not start obsessing about it, because then the Nick will ry to get you to obsess obout the cigs, too. He has nothing to do with you and you child. Nothing at all.
You can do this. Just keep posting. ANd keep doing all that stuff with the water, the breathing, the snacks, the exercise. It gets easier as you go. What kinds of things do you really like? I love shopping, so I did that, even if I only bought a cute pencil with a tassel, it cheered me up!
JUst keep on keeping on. When you can't stand it, get in the tub and cry. Then come here and post. It will pass. _________________
Margaret |
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Pamela
Quit Date: -
Posts: 3542 Location: Gardiner, NY
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Posted: January 28, 2006 6:47 PM Post subject: |
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Pam, please try to stop focusing on regret for things that you can't change. What's done is done.
In 7 years, you'll have forgotten about the few cigarettes you smoked. If it's 7 hours, 7 days or 7 weeks or 7 months....it doesn't matter. What matters is that you are not smoking TODAY!
I could sit here and mourn the 34 years as a heavy smoker, and kick myself for not stopping sooner. I can't know the damage I've done, I can only not do any more damage.
You are not smoking now, and as long as you keep that going, you won't have to focus on past mistakes or regrets or worry about future challanges.
Taking care of YOU is what this is all about.....not worrying about "losing your quit" or what any of us will think This quit is all about YOU, AND FOR YOU, and be happy for yourself that you are an exceptionally smart and brilliant lady for not smoking right now!
It IS good that you are learning to face your emotions head on. So, go look in the mirror, and let yourself know that you are no longer going to waste time worrying about things past....you've got too many positive things to use your energy for in the future.
Here's a hug, now go and do something for you! _________________
FIVE + years of freedom and loving it! |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: January 28, 2006 8:12 PM Post subject: |
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your son's situation, for better or worse, is none of your doing, pam; he's old enough to make his own choices, and whatever those choices are, you can in no way blame yourself. you also can't change the situation by worrying about it; all that will accomplish is the wasting of moments that will never come again. i know, because i've been there and done that, and one of the things i used to do extra hard in situations like that was smoke my brains out. it's a huge trigger.
and i'm sure i don't have to tell you that you don't need to respond to that trigger by smoking.
as far as the quit date, your frustration with that is perfectly understandable, but you know what? in 20 years, if someone asks you if you ever smoked, you'll have to stop and think, and then you'll say, "yes, but it must be 20 years since i quit."
choose life, just for today, and tomorrow will take care of itself. _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Fightn4life
Quit Date: October 23, 2003
Posts: 1573 Location: Loysburg, PA
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Posted: January 29, 2006 4:48 AM Post subject: |
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I agree with Kevin, in the long run the days, months, or even years will not be an issue, you'll just know you quit.
Smile now and keep moving forward.
Sandyz
free for 830 days _________________
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
~Anonymous |
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Melody
Quit Date: August 19, 2004
Posts: 1103 Location: Ontario
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Posted: January 29, 2006 8:44 AM Post subject: |
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So Pam yes your Halo got tarnished a tad so polish it up and keep going. Stop focusing on what you feel you have lost and put your thoughts into what you have gained in the last 7 months.(No I don't mean pounds )
I have a daughter that I haven't seen since July and 2 years ago she left her son and hubby with me. I do know where you are coming from as you are right family get togethers are tough but mine more so because I'm sick of everyone trying to push me into tracking her down. She seems intent on ruining her life I don't need her ruining my grandsons. Since living with my son in-law I can see he was no treat to live with as he is totally dysfunctional but at least he knows enough to stay out of my line of vision most days. He is an alcoholic and thinks we are to stupid to smell the sour fumes on him. Such is life I can't control what he or my daughter do but I can control (at this time)my grandsons childhood. That is where I keep my focus. What ever your sons choices are in life he chose. Be happy they are not yours.Kevin has the right idea get it out in the open it will help. Here I'll start you off with one of my pet peeves. Some of my family appears to think since I'm not upset all the time about her disappearing act that I don't love her. That just frost me when they say stupid crap like that. Love and displeasure are not the same word at all. _________________
I'm a NON-SMOKER thanks to everyone here |
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londa
Quit Date: July 28, 2004
Posts: 2469 Location: new york, USA
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Posted: January 29, 2006 9:33 AM Post subject: |
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Pam, give yourself a big hug! You are doing just fine. I agree with the others, you have been smoke free for 7 months.
Just key in on today. Just take one day at a time.
Your doing great... you just need to tell yourself that!
It is good that you get everything out instead of keeping it bottled up. You post anytime! We're here for you!
God Bless!
Love. Londa _________________
My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do. |
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mtwilsonranch
Quit Date: January 20, 2006
Posts: 1863 Location: nevada
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Posted: January 29, 2006 6:57 PM Post subject: |
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Thank you all for your wisdom and truth......You all are great
I have read these replies over and over, and YES it is time to get on with my quit.....Instead of looking at the glass half empty it is time to see it half full.......Pamela and Melody, You said that I was focusing on regret, yes, yes I was..funny how I could not see it that way, but upon reading I begin to see, I am now able to turn my thinking around....
And Deb, Donna, Sandy, Jo, you all stated that I have not lost but gained and that these last 7 months were not wasted and Alison you also stated that I had not lost, just misplaced my quit.....This is so positive, (Glass half Full) and when I look at my quit this way, I can feel the energy level rise..All That Matters is this minute I am not smoking
Margaret, it is sadness and regret and some guilt thrown in, you are right, deal with the emotions and the crave becomes less.......Learning to face my emotions and deal with them without the poison........BIG, BIG Lesson
londa I do need to Key in on today ....sometimes it is easy to forget when I am focusing on the negative
Kevin you stated that my son's situation was
none of my doing, and that worrying is only wasting of moments that will never come again.... Nothing more needs to be said, this says it all........
Kay Thank you, you are so dear, you encouraged me to put my emotions in writting when they appeared, I was so concered that I could not express myself, but I followed your advice, and got food and drink for this journey of FREEDOM....
Thank you,
I have an attitude of gratitude
Pam _________________
Right Now, this minute, this hour, this day, I choose not to feed my addiction.... |
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Deb
Quit Date: February 5, 2010
Posts: 967 Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)
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Posted: January 30, 2006 9:10 AM Post subject: |
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Pam,
Glad to see you are thinking differently. As hard as it may seem, looking at the glass half full is a lot better. We can do things much easier with a positive attitude. Looking back and having regrets robs us of the day ahead.
I do find it amazing that through these tough times, everyone here has a peice of advice wich is so helpful. With smoking, we all seem to go through similar situations and when one of us post and others reply well, it helps us all. Sometimes I just read a post and think wow I feel just like that and wammo within a little while ........help is here. This Is so cool
Keep up the great work Pam and remember to keep on posting because, we all need to share our day to day strategies - it just helps us remember that we are not alone and with hard work and support, staying quit forever is truly possible
Deb
quit 27 days and counting |
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