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Am I only a complainer? I don't think so

 
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 11:46 AM    Post subject: Am I only a complainer? I don't think so Reply with quote

I feel as if the only thing I have to say when I am on here are complaints so I just read and lurk.

I am feeling down to day and tired of life in general. As some of you know I am clinically depressed and this will never go away. But the people in my household are major downers and I am wondering if I should or will stay here. I just don't know right now. Today another confrintation with b/f and his mother. I am getting rather tired of these when I am trying to pull myself up and get a better life and attitude.

My daughter too is causeing problems at the house she is living in and may end up getting kicked out. She has become quite a handful and I again have no idea what to do and I am so tired and confused emotionally that I have trouble making any kind of decisions or get on with my life. It is slowly starting to come to gether and then I have some major set backs like these things that are very important to me. To some it may look like I am just whinning but for me with the problems (medically) that I have it is major.

Living day to day is a major deal for me and each day I wake up alive is one I say congragulations to myself for waking up and moving forward. I struggle through each day just going through the motions of living and go to bed each night exahausted. I sleep in the same bed as the guy I am suppose to marry one day(wondering about that too) and nothing else. I am to tired and in fact am asleep before he comes in.

I don't know if I want to continue this relationship as he doesn't respect my wishes or me. I feel as if he is in love with the idea of love. His mother is a constant thorn in my side and the other day she accused me of throwing out her milk when in all reality she bought the wrong one. For years she accused my kids of stealing from her when in reality she ate or used it and forgot. I don't know what to do or where to turn but I do know I am getting emotionally tired. I have enough trouble feeling anything at all and am starting to learn how to feel something besides anger and now this.


If you feel I am whinning please forgive me. I had to get this off my chest or explode.
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
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Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 12:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona,

HUGS for you {{{{{Leona}}}}}

You're not a whiner, but in a bad situtation and trying to make sense of it all. Plus add turmoil with exhaustion with the depression mix...and well, you just plain need to vent your feelings! No shame in that.

I don't have any great advice, but just know that talking about it and getting off your chest helps some. I do understand the exhaustion part all too well. Seems like when the emotions are on overload, the body just shuts down. At least that is what happens to me. It's not a fun feeling.

I will say this...the boyfriend...if you aren't married yet....definitely give it a good hard look...that is the relationship. You marry him, and the mother comes with the package. If he doesn't meet your needs now, he won't after marriage. So, the question is...do you want to commit to someone who you know isn't quite what you are lookng for?

Leona, just like with quitting...all you can do is pray and take it one day at a time. You're in my prayers.

Love and Hugs
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 12:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona,

Oh my, you sound like you could use a long break. Please don't feel like your whinning because your situation sounds very real to me. I'm sorry that you are going through a rough period. I'm not really familiar with your relationship with your bf but, maybe you should talk with him and let him know how your feeling and maybe he could have a little chat with his Mom too. It's one thing to deal with your bf but, his Mom well this is a little much. You shouldn't have to take any crap from her as you are not dating her so take the thorn from your side and shove it into hers. Wink

Take some time for yourself and please post and let us know how your doing. From what I know, you seem like a great lady and nobody should have to put up with other peoples crap.

Hang on, you have freinds here who care Wink Pamper yourself a little bit, you deserve it. Wink

Deb
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Pamela



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 12:12 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think so either Leona.

You have had more than your share of heartache and hurt in your life. It seems that the power that doles out the problems in this world seemed to give you more than your share, and it's just not fair.

When I picture you, I remember this show that used to be on TV called "Queen for a Day". There were several "contestants, who would tell the story of their lives and hardships, each one seeming more unfair and worse than the last. They had an "applause" meter, and after each lady told her tale of woe, the audience would applaud and decide which one had the saddest life, and she would be crowned "Queen for the Day". They put a cape around her shoulders, gave her a crown, and a big bunch of red (I think, because it was in black and white) roses, like a beauty queen. Then they would give her prizes appropriate to whatever problem was in her life, and usually also a washing machine or a new fridge.

You have had more than your fair share, and I want to make you "Queen for a Day, and make all those problems go away.

You are our "Queen" here, because for all of the problems and adversity you face in life, you still have been strong and stay away from Scowling Demon

(((((Leona))))). And please remember that you will NEVER be a whiner....just a winner....in my books!
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 2:56 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, Pamela, I remember "Queen For A Day" too and, yes, Leona is our Queen For A Day.

Seriously, Leona, you're really going through a tough time with your boyfriend and his complaning mother. You're not a whiner. We're all friends here and after all, what are friends for if not to listen when one of the group needs to "vent?" You may let off steam whenever you choose.

I wish I could reach out and give you a real big hug but can't do that so please close your eyes and imagine being hugged.

Always remember, Leona, when you're at your lowest, God will lift you up. Just lean on Him. He never lets us down.
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Jo
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 6:35 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona, I loved what Pam wrote! I remember "Queen for the Day". So you be Queen for the day today!

I could hear and feel your sadness. I don't want you to be sad. Would you like a pillowcase Leona? I would love to make a special one for you!

God Be with you and give you the comfort and love that you need right now.

Love, Londa
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 9:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londa,

I would love to be queen for a day shoot who are we kidding for 5 minutes would be a blessing. I am so tired of trying. I am tired tired tired of everything. As for a pillowcase I would love it especailly coming from a special lady and friend like yourself.

Jo,

Thank you for the hug it really helped alot. I am still tired of life and I do know that God lifts me up just wish he would hold me alot tighter as I am so down that I can't see daylight. I want to just lay down and forget the world exists most days.

Pamela,

Thank you my dear friend. I am pleased that I am someone's "Queen" because I sure aint here. I won't even see anything for V. Day. I give but never get. Oh well.

Mahulse(Deb),

I sure could use a long break as in forever these days. Between my bf and his mom and my daughter I want to give up and just lay down and go to sleep.

Deb(Seabrez),

Yes my body is just shutting down and has been shut down for quite a long time since I was married and divorced. I have been bottling crap up forever. As for the bf I have been doing some evaluation as to what I am going to do there. I have not been happy in this relationship for a while now and wondering if it is really worth it. And believe me I have been doing more praying than I can say. I just don't know what to do right now either with him, his mother or my daughter.
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marw



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: February 13, 2006 10:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Leona,

I agree with the others. (And I remember "Queen for A Day," too! Guess that tells about how old WE are ... Laughing ! But it is true that you should be Queen for a Day (or month or year) and you are certainly our Queen. ANd you have that beautiful, powerful unicorn, too, just like a Queen should....and even if it is only a cyber unicorn...how impressive that you thought of it!..it shows that those are your true qualities...power and Beauty.

Leona, is there anyway, you really could take a day off? I mean tell your boss you are taking a day off, then make up a lie and tell your family, such as that you are going to a doc or something and will be gone all day (since they're not acting right anyway, you don't have to tell the truth), and then take a greyhound bus or train to a city of your favorite, and just walk around, be a tourist, get a room (if you have money....otherwise, just visit), shop, have lunch in a elegant restaurant....have a Day that is just yours, WITHOUT THEM AROUND! It doesn't even have to be a city, could be anywhere you wanted to go. (Isn't there something there called "Rock City"? Oh, sorry that is in Arkansas...but somewhere.) Well, that is one suggestion. BUt there are others. Just get some You time for You~~ !

And I agree, too, that you shouldn't be taking crap from this potential mother-in-law...does she have early dementia? WEll, regardless, think carefully about it all before marrying the guy. (Hmmm....on the other hand, maybe I did a little too much think along those lines.... Laughing Laughing just kidding....I actually like being single.)

And no, you are not a whiner at all! You are one who is always there for us and helping us with our problems, so post away! That's what families are for!

Big hugs to you, Leona, and don't let them get to you. It's sad but true that people around us can really bring us down sometimes. It might be that you are not clinically depressed, but environementally depressed. Wink ...if you know what I mean!!

Here's hugs for you. ((((((((((((Leona))))))))))))
Love,
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Simone



Quit Date:
April 28, 2005

Posts: 953
Location: Australia

PostPosted: February 15, 2006 1:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Leona,

I wish you health & a big Break!! illness is so tiring as well as everyday life is a stuggle just to get through but I know you can do it.Here is a poem for our 'Unicorn Queen'

''The Lost Unicorn''

Oh how in our childlike hearts still we mourn
The passing of the Unicorn.
Of gentle beauty and infinite grace,
A creature unfit for our worlds pace.
Yet Wait! For who's to say?

Perhaps even now in some far distant forest glade,
There still moves quietly in the cool and leafy shade.
That timeless creature of a golden age,
That spirit of a shining dawn,
That magic beast The Unicorn.

By...~Anonymous~

Love,
Simone xoxox
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: February 15, 2006 1:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aaahhhh, Simone, that was so nice, a poem for our Unicorn Queen and Leona, you can stay Queen for as long as you wish and you can use my shoulder any time! Stay strong!

(((((HUGS)))))
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4/14/04
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 16, 2006 10:23 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Essie 662

Thank you for the shoulder I may need it in the future but for right now I am staying put and defending myself alot and also our poor dog. They are being nasty to her. Not exactly mean but nasty. I am getting to the point where I am thourghly disgusted with them both. They seem to be two peas in a pod and I am sick of it.

Simone

I love the poem and I love that everyone thinks of me as Unicorn Queen. That is so awesome and so kind of you all. As I told Essie I am sticking it out for the moment and this is more for the dog then for me and I need to find a house so I can buy it. I don't like renting also I need a car right now I am without one. There are so many little details I need to take care of first and also I want to see if either of them actually straighten up or if I will have to take and go my own way.

He claims to love me but hey I don't see the actions. And I am tired of being the one blamed for it. Yes I have problems but they aren't all mine.

Margaret

Wow what a glowing review. I feel so honored. Thank you for saying I am not a whinner but let me tell you I feel like one most of the time and yes it is not just clinical depression but also enviromental depression too. But like I told simone I have some things I need to do before I an actually decide on leaving. As for the potential mother in law I don't know if she does have early dementia or not or if she is doing this as a ploy to get attention once again. I have been doing alot of thinking about marrying him with his attitude also with the fact she and her kids come along with the package. His sister is a drunk and his brother was in jail for drugs and is a smart aleck and a bigot and I can't stand any of that. I thought though he was better then that but maybe I was wrong.
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Pamela



Quit Date:
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Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: February 16, 2006 12:36 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Leona. Sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking. One thing I know for sure, is that when you love and accept someone, usually (not 100% of the time), the "family" comes as part of the package, and that this is where most couples have their "issues"...not with each other.

If you are having this much trouble with his family now, it sure won't get any better if you get married.

You are a strong person (that's why we like you Exclamation ) and I know that you will think things out before committing yourself (and the dog) to any more heartache.

You deserve to be treated like a "queen", and if you aren't, then I know you won't let them walk all over you.

Whatever decision you come to, I'm with ya girl!
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: February 16, 2006 11:55 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: February 17, 2006 4:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

{{{{Leona}}}}

Oh boy can I relate to the better half's mothers issues. I think a lot of mothers are just jelous of their son's girlfriends or wives. I never thought of you as whiner either, you have always been real supportive to me.

Hang on my friend. Let me know when would be a good time to call you or you can call me and I'll call you back.

Blessings,
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 18, 2006 3:27 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pam,

I get so confused so much of the time but then that is the disease I have talking so I have to take a while to sort things out especially when my mind won't shut off which is another part of my disease. But yes I will do what is right for me and no I won't let anyone walk over me ever again. I put up with that for 15 years and then turned right around and got into another relationship with the same crap but this one I thought would be different and it was good or at least fair before his mother came to live with us and I hate to say it but alot of the time I wish she would just die so I could have him back to myself and retrain him without his mothers influence. That and I would not have to listen to her whinning about how sick she supposedly is. I know you guys are all with me on this and that is one of the things that keeps me going. Thank YOu

Tammy,,

Oh I needed that hug.
\

Barbara,

Don't you still have my cell number? Most of the time I am available but sometimes I am on the run or just run down to the point of giving up. I will hang on especially when I know I have people in my corner and there to give me that special shove when I need it.
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