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Where do we go from here?

 
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: January 23, 2006 1:39 PM    Post subject: Where do we go from here? Reply with quote

Excellent question! I guess we have to reprogram our way of thinking, breathing and just living a normal life. Well, what is a normal life for a nonsmoker? I really don't know because, I've never lived it. Everyday I wake up and try and keep myself busy so I wont think and dwell on the cigs, nasty old Laughing Demon is with me and I want so much to be like a normal person whom never smoked because those folks really cannot and never will understand what we are going through.

I guess we have to keep the fight and take it one day, one second at a time. It really is exhausting though. I'd like some veteran quitters feedback here, does it really, in time go away? Are we going to feel content ever again? I truly hope so and I know I'm to early in my quit to even try and process this type of thought. Sorry, I'm rambling again but, I don't know any other way to express my true feelings. I get so annoyed at the other people in my life whom have not had any experience quitting and to them it's just an oh so simple thing to do. Get over it they say........ well I'd like to respond with Bite Me....pardon the french.

Just a little something for us newbies to think about. We need to refocus and I guess get new lifes. Sounds pretty tormenting doesn't it? I don't mean to be negative, just expressing how I feel. I'm exhausted and I cannot live my life dwelling about wanting to smoke. I quit.......so what's the problem. Laughing Demon Laughing Demon Yes, he won't go away. Let's all make a pact and promise that we won't let this bastard control our lives anymore. Please I pray each day and so far (even though I haven't smoked) he's controlling my every thought and move. It's got to end somewhere!! I just hope this is normal and I'm not crazy or something.

Deb
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: January 23, 2006 2:29 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yes, Deb, it will truly get better and you will honestly be content. Prior to quitting, stress was one reason for me to pick up a cigarette (or two) and smoke. Since the initial, really tough days of the beginning of the quit, I've noticed that I have far less stress than I had previously.

Deb, that's just one benefit of quitting. I'm certain you've read articles outlining all the others. No, it really isn't easy but the benefits far outweigh the trials and tribulations of those beginning days and weeks.

Hang in there and you'll learn for yourself. Happy Freedom Exclamation
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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swaneem



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: January 23, 2006 7:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb,

I was no light smoker for 25+ years. I remember times that I forgot my cigarettes....that would send me into a panic and I would have to leave work to buy some....couldn't possibly work without them Shocked

I can now tell you that it feels NORMAL for me not to smoke....and I believe I felt that as soon as about 6 months. Sure there's times that I get an urge here and there .....a distant memory of smoking during a particular time. I've also been through hell for the last year and the stress doesn't trigger any desire to smoke.

I totally believe that one can make the quitting process much more difficult than it needs to be if that's where they put all their attention and negative thinking.....especially if they're fooling themselves about how wonderful smoking was....and how much they miss it.....and how they cannot live without it. Many of us have done just that.

The irony is.....THERE IS NO LIFE WITH SMOKING.....ONLY DEATH.

Donna
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marw



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3634
Location: Chicago, IL

PostPosted: January 24, 2006 2:08 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb, it feels normal in every way! MOst of the time I never remember that I even was a smoker and usually think of myself as a Non-smoker....like I never smoked at all, I mean! THe rewards are so great...smelling, tasting, and feeilng better than ever...(I mean JUST BREATHING is so great!!!) that I think I tend to remember smoking more as something I'm so thankful not to be doing.

AT first it feels like you will have to get a new Life, and you tend to try to work a bit at filling up the time holes created by not using the cigs. After a while, however, it just becomes totally natural. I kept my old Life, it's just richer now, and has more interesting things in it. Like I became interested in fashion again, since I don't have to keep my coat on during theatre intermissions.

There are a lot of "new Life activities" for the newly quit smoker. A lot of them are listed in that "101 things to do instead of Smoking" LIst that Jim posted, and I think I did too. A favorite is blowing bubbles with that kid stuff. Why don't you try it now. It is soooo calming and fun. I still do it and I don't even need to.

Knitting, painting, baking, scupting....notice they are all things you do with both y our mind and your hands. You will think of more.

Just keep up like you are going now!! I am so proud of you!! And these posts that you think are not important or are not making sense are actually helping so many people. They are very thought provoking! You keep posting them! And do not smoke!! You are almost over the bad part!

WTG!!!!

Tomorrow maybe you can tell us any new things you have discovered? Just a thought. YOu can also recite how many things you threw at people! Laughing Both are acceptable. Do not smoke!

Love and hugs,
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Margaret
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Melody



Quit Date:
August 19, 2004

Posts: 1103
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: January 24, 2006 7:38 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb it happened all without me even noticing at first. Just somewhere along the path I became a non smoker. As Jo says the stress also seems to be part and parcel of smoking. I think it has something to do with hiding ones true feelings behind the smoke screen(to coin a phrase). The hardest part for me was learning to take a break just because rather than the excuse of I'm taking a smoke break. You need to give yourself permission to take a break and do nothing. After all it is more productive than smoking. Wink


Deb said
"I get so annoyed at the other people in my life whom have not had any experience quitting and to them it's just an oh so simple thing to do. Get over it they say........ well I'd like to respond with Bite Me....pardon the french."


Now don't get mad but you see I've gotten to that point with my fellow Quitter's who have at least a year in(Not fighting words just something I'm dealing with right now). It often runs through my mind they should just get over it. Are there not days when a person is stressed and it runs through their minds they would like to leap from the tallest building toss in the towel and give up????? Well to most of us I think we have those days where enough is enough. Since we are still here we likely never acted on it so why when those thought pass through our minds are we able to put them aside? Smoking is the same put it aside. Yes it was a passing thought but let it pass. It's when you stop to ponder you run into trouble. Be sure of your path and kick off any stone in your way. This is as easy or as hard as you make it. The day that the saying makes sense you will be a non smoker not just a smoker who Quit.
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Simone



Quit Date:
April 28, 2005

Posts: 953
Location: Australia

PostPosted: February 22, 2006 11:41 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb I smoked for 28 years & only quit last April & even though I may whine as the old nico Scowling Demon still chases me a bit but I can say it does get better & better.

The rewards are unreal to really ''smell'' fresh air & taste fresh fruit small things like this are gifts given back Smile

Lots of Love,
Simone Wink
smoke free 301 days YAY!!
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: February 22, 2006 12:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

It will come, Deb. It will come. You're at that nasty stage where you don't want to smoke, you just want to KILL Laughing Demon and say "enough already.'

Reading your post brings back memories of how I felt as well (just like you), but it now takes an effort for me to remember what it was like. I see smokers everywhere, but I can't dredge up the memory of what it felt like to smoke!

i don't know when it comes.........it does just sort of happen. But it definitely will become NORMAL to not smoke. Just keep hanging in there.
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FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
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Wanda



Quit Date:
March 15, 2004

Posts: 425
Location: Carlisle, PA

PostPosted: February 22, 2006 12:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb,

I believe that is your addict trying to talk you into smoking. There are many stages to this process. As long as you react the same to each stage(don't smoke) you will make it to the promise land.

I remember early in my quit, how i would think well today i didn't think about a cigarette until after my morning tea, or today i made it the whole way through my shower until it hit me. It was almost like a contest, and I would get angry when someone did something to remind me(I was angry alot).

Anyway less than a month and I'll have acheived the two year mark. In that time I went from the constant feeling of loss to the feeling of freedom.
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Wanda
Quit Date 03/15/04
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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: February 22, 2006 12:42 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb,

At almost two months quit you are exactly where you are expected to be. There is a let down that comes at this point. The cheering squad has returned to their own problems and they can't understand why you don't just move on. The touble is that you still struggle and you will continue to struggle on and off for the next few months. It will not last forever and you can (and will I'm sure) make it through. During this time it is important that you remember that no matter what the people in your world say or do you can always, ALWAYS, find a sypathetic ear here at woofmang. We understand what it feels like to know that as happy as people are for your quit they lose interest long before you truely become a non-smoker.

Someday you will wake up and realize that you haven't thought about smoking in, well, you can't remember when. You will have ordered your life around other things and instead of looking at smokers with a little envy you will feel sorry for them trapped in their addiction. Until then you will always have a home here. Every person here has walked a similar path.

You have joined a group of people who have taken back their lives and it is a special group. We are honest with ourselves and loyal to our fellow quitters.

PS. My quit date is June 3rd and in a little over a week on the same day you celebrate 2 months (whatcha gonna do for you?) I will be celebrating 33 months. Someday you will stand where I am and pehaps reach out to someone standing where you are today. All you have to do is keep the quit.
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I wish you peace.

alison
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 22, 2006 1:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, this hits home in a big way! Good post, Deb! Very Happy

It is irrating and aggreviating to think that we will be controlled by the thoughts of smoking with no end in sight. And I know, I get fed up with Scowling Demon pushing buttons and dredging up memories and so forth. But I like what Melody said the best. It is all about a frame of mind. I mean...she is absolutely right about having a thought and just going on about business instead of pondering on that thought. Totally correct in saying it's where we get into trouble...the pondering. And it is nothing more than the addiction attempting to lure us back to smoke. Damning situtation, I will agree!

During the second week quit, I thought on these things, knowing from past quits what happens. And you know what....I had a real heart to heart with myself and told myself, that everything in life is a separate issue from smoking. The issues of life don't revolve around a smoke....it's the opposite, the smoke is a past reaction to the issues and stresses of life. So, I constantly have to remind myself and figure out just exactly what to do in any given situtation. Man, talk about reprogramming a life, it's a job, to say the least. Kinda look at it as a learning adventure. Laughing Laughing It's not always easy. I'm still not sure to do with myself first thing of a morning...but it is getting better. Wink

I just keep hanging on to the focus of other things instead of dwelling on a smoke. It scared me to start this quit, because "what if" I couldn't do it again? But remember what you said...it's all about figuring out what to do with ourselves...and that is true. I think about people I know who don't smoke, and who never had...I study them, I guess you could say....what do they do? You know what...they just live. That's all. It's just living each and every moment in the here and now. They have the same emotions we do, put their pants on the same way, and don't have to have a cancer stick as a crutch to do the things of life. That is the only difference. And we just have to get use to not using a crutch any longer.

I agree with Melody...it's as hard and as easy as we make it. We can acknowledge a thought and urge and know it's just a temptation that will pass, or we can dwell on it...making ourselves miserable in the process. I've been there and done it both ways....and the first way is definitely better. Wink Have a new motto with this quit....look beyond and forward, not back to the past. Look on to the benefits and freedom....concentrate on that...not the past that's dead and buried now.

We are new people! We are non-smokers...we just need to walk in it now! Wink Cool

Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Deb



Quit Date:
February 5, 2010

Posts: 967
Location: North Carolina (Originally New York)

PostPosted: February 23, 2006 8:54 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all of the great advice everyone. It's been a month since I posted this thread and believe it or not, I'm still struggling an awful lot. I guess I'm just learning not to complain as much. Embarassed

I know that it will get better but, I have to realize that I practiced smoking for 30 odd years and it's going to take some time to be content with my quit. Today, is only day #50, compare this to how long I smoked, this is nothing. I'm hanging on though because it's the longest I've been without one and I'm darn proud.

Yes, there are still days when I swear that I'm going to buy cigs because I can't stand my mood swings anymore. I find myself angry and ready to explode over the littlest things........it's scary. I am trying to control this and I pray everyday that it will be over soon and tell myself that it's still better than smoking. My Husband is so amazing, I personaly could not handle me, if I were him. Confused

Thank's for listening. Very Happy

Deb
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 23, 2006 8:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Deb,

Take a moment and give your husband a huge hug. He deserves it. I know what mine went through during the beginning weeks;months of my quit. He was a saint.

Just make all his love and attention worthwhile. STAY QUIT. Exclamation Exclamation It won't only be worthwhile for him but so wonderful for you.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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mtwilsonranch



Quit Date:
January 20, 2006

Posts: 1863
Location: nevada

PostPosted: February 23, 2006 11:10 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deb,

I found that giving my husband Thank You Cards, and expressing my gratitude, helped not only him, but me as well Wink

Those mood swings will grow dimmer, yes we have been smoking for many years, so we are learning to live with us without that beast.....

You are doing so good with your quit, 50 days is awesome........ Wink Very Happy

Keep on deep breathing and keep on keeping this strong quit,

Pam
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