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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: October 31, 2006 8:18 AM    Post subject: Back to the Dr. Reply with quote

I go back to the doctor tomorrow. I'm really nervous about it. It's been three weeks since he threw my world into a tailspin. I don't know what to say or what not to say. I've even been thinking I should go in there say I"m fine and move on with my life! But what if I'm not?

I'm not trying to overanalyze this. I've been doing pretty well for about the last week. A few times life has gotten the best of me but for the most part I keep reminding myself not to go there. Stay out of the pit of dispare. Deep breaths, let's just accomplish something today...(that's the self talk I give myself).

Any thoughts?
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: October 31, 2006 8:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good luck Lady - I suggest you just talk to the Doc...and be honest. Tell him how you feel and try not to minimize the negatives - but talk about both the good and the bad. I think that some of the ambiguity trying to answer the question "how do I feel" is part of the treatment process as the meds kick in and brain chemistry re-levels. So - the "I'm not sure" may really be the right answer. Talk about what worries you most... the positive self talk is pretty good! Now to just believe it...

I find that if I come to a complete halt - its really hard to get moving again...so sometimes I just slow down - and keep moving forward even if it is very, very slowly...overcoming inertia is much harder....just keep moving Exclamation
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Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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kevin
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: October 31, 2006 12:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

you're right, lady; don't overanalyze it. in fact, don't analyze it at all; you'll just go around in circles. amd mary's right, too; just talk to the doctor and say whatever comes to you in that moment:

jesus said, "But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak."

sariputta (the chief disciple of the buddha) said, "...I will speak about what is, not about what is not..."

probably most spiritual leaders have said the same thing in their various ways; just tell it like it is, that's the best way to move through this.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: October 31, 2006 1:03 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Lady,

My thoughts will be with you.
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: October 31, 2006 10:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm really feeling down tonight. I'm nervous about tomorrow and part of me just doesn't even care anymore.

I think the medicine is helping. It's just my life that is all screwed up. I don't seem to ever be able to make good decisions. I keep making the wrong ones over and over again. Some people never learn anything. I think I may be one of those people.

This is a rant room and I feel like ranting. I hope no one minds. Halloween was fun with the boys. I guess no matter what, I've got my kids. I thank God for them. Without them I would really be alone. They love me even when no one else does. Not a good night. That's it for now.
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kevin
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Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: November 1, 2006 12:03 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

of course nobody minds if you rant here; that's what this forum is for.

sorry to hear that it isn't such a good night for you, lady, but i see a ray of light in your post (i wonder if you see it, too): you say that halloween was fun with your boys; life can't be all that bad when you have that going for you...

hang in there; better days are surely coming. Smile
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: November 1, 2006 7:48 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks Kevin. My kids are my life. Always have been. That use to be enough. I guess I'll have to remember that they are still enough.

I'm not waking up good this morning. The tears are already falling. I'm feeling very unimportant. I go back to the doctor and he will probably see me with swollen eyes. He'll be ready to send me to a shrink for sure.

I use to pray that God would send me someone to love me. But then I met my second husband who was abusive. I don't pray for that anymore. I have to keep reminding myself that I am better off alone and that some people are just meant to be alone. Why is it the more I think about this the more upset I get? And Why is it I can't stop thinking about this? There are millions of people that are alone and they live fine, productive lives. I have done the same for four years now.

I have to get ready for work. Thanks for the rant room.
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shevie



Quit Date:
May 23, 2005

Posts: 413
Location: Grants Pass, OR, USA

PostPosted: November 1, 2006 9:18 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lady, you need to tell your doctor exactly what you tell us. He needs to know where you are in this to be able to do what needs to be done. If that means special help, then that's what you should get.

Depression is a disease and needs to be properly treated. Just as you would go to a cardiologist for heart problems or a podiatrist for your feet, depression is properly treated by a psychologist or psychiatrist. There is no stigma to this beyond that which you create to yourself.

I know you're feeling quite alone right now and saying "Look around here, you aren't alone" (which is true) is little help. You should focus on getting you back to good health. That is the most important thing of all. Whatever it takes. Smile

Shevie
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Quit date: May 23, 2005
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Free



Quit Date:
May 12, 2006

Posts: 826
Location: USA

PostPosted: November 1, 2006 11:28 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't add anything better that what everyone here has already posted to you.

I just wanted to add that you're in my heart. God knows my heart and hears my prayers for you.

Fondly,
Free
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