quit smoking support @ woofmang.com
people helping people beat the addiction to nicotine
 
help support our communityDonate FAQFAQ SearchSearch RSS FeedRSS Feed MemberlistMemberlist RegisterRegister ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in

Still Here

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 17, 2007 10:37 AM    Post subject: Still Here Reply with quote

I'm still around and still not smoking. I have been taking my medicine but haven't taken it this morning. I really don't think it is doing me any good and I'm still very upset about the doctor.

My counselor is calling me every day which makes me feel more "needy". Typically I'm not a needy person. I stand on my own two feet and do what needs to be done. I spent a lot of time in chat last night letting out stuff that I have been keeping to myself. I really thought that telling someone else would help make me feel better but I felt worse. Now someone else knows my secrets and thoughts. He says I need to let them out. He probably thinks I'm totally insane now. This morning I'm wondering why I didn't just keep my big mouth (or busy fingers) shut.

I'm really starting to worry about "me". I've got to figure out a way to be happy with who I am. The counselor says I expect to be perfect and that isn't ever going to happen. I know I"m far from perfect. Too many thoughts running through my head.

I'm off to get busy. A productive day would really help.

Lady
_________________

I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 17, 2007 12:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lady,

Your last statement about having a productive day is a mouthful! Sometimes, we just need to do something and see some results of accomplishment to build confidence inside. A while back...actually over a year ago, I read a little snip in a magazine about confidence. It was one of those little short diddies...it said when we have confidence in one area it spills over to other areas in our lives. I believe that. I know, for me, it feels so immensely good to accomplish a project or some little thing I've been meaning to do. Achievement just seems to ooze confidence and a good sense of well being. Now, don't get me wrong...I don't believe living an achievement based drive to life is necessarily healthy...in other words, to be driven all the time to achieve or accomplish. But an accomplishment when feeling down does help to perk us up.

And letting those feelings out...it does need done. I think you just need to find someone who you feel comfortable with to share with. Someone that you feel won't judge you and draw conclusions about your life. That's important. If we don't feel comfortable sharing, it feels counterproductive, because then we worry about being judged and looked at funny and weird. God knows the world is full of that kind of stuff already. And that's why people put on what I call a mask....this wall that says, hey, I'm ok...got it together. All because of the perception other people may have of us.

Even though you feel bad now about sharing last night....you took a step to give the pus of the wound inside a way to escape and relieve the infection and pain. So, don't beat up on yourself so much. Keep on looking, you will find the answers you are searching for.

Big Hugs Lady!!!
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 17, 2007 1:42 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I was going to take a little nap, but when the head hit the pillow this thought popped up.

Clutter! Could it be that there is so much just stuff going around in the mind, that it's hard to concentrate or deal with just one issue or thing? I think the writing exercise Kevin suggested would help to get the stuff out of the mind and on paper where you can take a good look at it. A way to sort through all that is pinging around inside of you.

Then you can take each "thing" and think about it only...one at a time. Very Happy

Just more food for thought.

Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 17, 2007 11:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Seabreeze.

I did write the three pages today and let go of what was on them. I helped with kid golf lessons and working with the teens always makes me feel better. My day was actually pretty good. I stayed busy but tried to stay unstressed at the same time. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers and thank you for thinking of me.

My problems seems to be that I set too many unobtainable goals and keep setting myself up for failure. I'm trying to learn to go with the flow and take one step at a time. Not an easy thing to do but I'm sure I will ge there.

Hope all is well with you.

Lady
_________________

I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: February 17, 2007 11:32 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

glad to hear you're still free. i've got a story for you (paraphrasing myself here):

imagine you're taking a walk in the woods and a big man dressed in a realistic bear costume comes running towards you, roaring like a bear. if you believe he really is a bear, your body and mind will react exactly the same way it would if he really was a bear: you'll feel the exact same fear, the adrenalin will pump into your blood, your heart will pound, you'll run away as fast as you can.

because you believe the bear is real, it is real, for you, and in that moment your body and mind do the appropriate things. but in this case, the bear isn't real (it's just a guy in a bear costume), so you've just wasted all that energy and gotten all worked up and frightened for nothing.

the thing is, none of our thoughts are real; they're only thoughts. it's our own (very often misguided) belief in our thoughts that gives them power and convinces us that we should waste energy on them. then the fear feeds on itself.

stop giving the thoughts power, and they'll stop. all by themselves.

eta: apparently i was writing this reply at the same time you were writing yours. glad to hear you've started doing the morning pages; they're a great way to take the power away from those thoughts.
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 18, 2007 12:35 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kevin.

I like you analogy. Kind of like when quitting smoking and giving the nicotine addiction a persona ... i.e. the nicodemon and having a battle against the nicodemon to stay smoke free. The negative, bad, self destructive, degrading, thoughts and fears are just the same. Perhaps we could come up a name for them and then I could battle them like I did the nicodemon.

I worked hard for my quit. I struggled so much to maintain it. I wasn't a member of this site in those days but those that were around know how hard it ws for me. I guess this is fighting the next demon in my path. God has great plans for me and i just have to trust that His will is being done every single day. So much easier said than done.

Thank you for the support.

Lady
_________________

I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 18, 2007 8:37 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morning Lady!

It's good to hear your day yesterday was good. Cool You sounded alot better in your post. Relaxed! Wink

Keep walking forward like you are. Hope today is a good one like yesterday.

Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 19, 2007 12:57 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yesterday I spent a lot of time with the Lord. I was surrounded by my church family as I knelt at the alter asking God to please help me work through all this. I was amazed at the support that surrounded me. I cried practically all day. Went to lunch with a couple of girls from church, cried some more. I bared my soul a bit more of things in the past that just seem to haunt me, which of course, brought more tears. Last night, I sat a talked to a lady at church that was like a mother to me when my kids were younger. I told her that I felt like she just didn't care about me anymore. Pretty much like no one cared about me. She told me she loved me, we cried together, talked and she informed me of the way I have secluded myself over the last few months. She aslo stated that she had admiration for me and all I have accomplished. What a day of revelation.

Oh what kicked it all off? The sermoun about the man whose friends lowered him through the roof so he could be near Jesus and he healed him. I felt like the man on the stretcher. The point of the service was people are silently screaming and we need to be able to tell them... "you are not alone, we are going to make it"

I'm going to make it folks! Thanks for all your support
_________________

I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: February 19, 2007 1:12 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Smile
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: February 19, 2007 1:21 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tears are welling up in my eyes, as I read your post Lady. Thanks be to Him.

Lady, you are going to be ok. To know that you are being touched, and a rekindled relationship with a dear lady you've been closed with in the past. It's God! Just so amazing and cool.

Praying for wisdom and revelation for you. Want to add some punch to that prayer and be totally blown away? Pray it for yourself too. Cool Wink It's in Ephesians 1:17-23 make it personal by putting your name where it says "you". It's the prayer Paul prayed for the Ephesians. Hold on, cause once you begin to pray it....God will show you stuff like never before.

Now, this has made my day! Very Happy Wink To see you touched!! Love to you, Lady!!

Huge Hugs
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: February 20, 2007 11:54 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Conseling again today. A lot of revelations. A lot of understanding and more confusion. I am writing. I'm keeping my journal. I'm lost in the forest but I know eventually I will come out.

Traveling the quit road was difficult and I did that. Now I'm lost in the woods and I am trying to find my way out. It is painful. It hurts, I cry and I'm still fighting.

Lady
_________________

I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    quit smoking support @ woofmang.com Forum Index > and rants All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

quit smoking support
woofmang dot com