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My sanctimonious SIL

 
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lakelynn



Quit Date:
August 15, 2007

Posts: 4

PostPosted: July 31, 2007 9:54 AM    Post subject: My sanctimonious SIL Reply with quote

My sister-in-law and I have never been the best of friends. We are so very different, in every way. I love animals....she could care less about them. I am direct and do not put on airs or pretend to be someone I'm not....she is so fakey-sweet and goody-goody it's enough to gag you. I am a Buddhist and she is one of those who claims to be such a Christian and preaches all the time but doesn't act very Christian if you ask me. And on and on and on ....

On Sunday we had to drive 2 hours from our home to Hagerstown, MD to pick up my MIL and stepson who had been at the beach with SIL all week. She was not willing to drive them back to MIL's house....my BIL was supposed to pick them up since my husband is not supposed to be driving long distances since his stroke and I have been tending to a very sick pig.....but he finked out, and his wife wouldn't do it (NOTE that they live one hour closer to Hagerstown than we do...but it was 'too inconvenient' for them). Anyway....not smoking in the car is soooooooooooo difficult for me and I did pretty well but as we approached the place where we were meeting SIL I rolled down the window and lit up to get a quick fix before the long ride home (can't smoke with MIL in the car). And SIL saw me. And copped a major attitude. When we got out of the car she gave everyone a hug but me. She would hardly speak to me. My stepson later told me that when she saw me with the cigarette she started making nasty comments.

ACK, this ticks me off. Technically, I understand her thinking: her baby brother just had a stroke and she thinks if I smoke around him it will make it harder for him to stay quit (actually not the case...my husband said it doesn't bother him at all to be around cigs, the stroke scared him straight)....and she is a cardiac nurse, so she is big on the Secondhand Smoke thing. However........She doesn't know if I'd been sucking down 80 cigs a day under his nose or if that was my first one in 4 days. She doesn't know what it's like to try and quit smoking after 24 years. How my husband and I handle our quitting is between US. And if she has an issue with it, it would be so much more adult to discuss it with me rather than act like a snot and give me the cold shoulder.

I guess I just don't like her.
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alleghany



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 2049

PostPosted: July 31, 2007 10:37 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quiting smoking is such a journey. I found out a lot about my friends and family in this process.

Your quit is your quit. Just hang on to that no matter what! Cool
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Quit date: June 6, 2004
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: July 31, 2007 12:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lynn...first off Huge Hug!! {{{{{Lynn}}}}}

She's the one with issues....don't let it get to you...even the Christian side of it...cause I'm one too...but, there's two types...the religious one (legalist..do's and don'ts) and the grace one's (God,we know we've screwed up...thank you)

Anyways..that's not the point. You are quitting for you and that is the all that matters. People who have never smoked do not...I repeat..do not understand the whole process of breaking free or what it takes. She should be jumping for joy that you and hubby are quitting. Stay on track with your plans...and please, do not dwell on her or others like her. It's self-defeating and just creates stress you don't need right now. And the whole hubby thing and his quit...he had to make the same decision you did...whether to quit or not...and whether to smoke or not at any given moment. It is easier when we quit to not be around smokers for a period of time....but hey, let's get real...we can't avoid them all the rest of our lives, and we need to know how to handle those situtations also and not give in.

Lynn...keep going...on the 15th...it's freedom day!!

Hugs
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Zuzu



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: July 31, 2007 1:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm..... my guess is that actually you'd probably prefer if she not discuss it with you (do you really want to have that conversation with her???) Maybe, oddly, strangely, the way she dealt with it was best.... make a few comments behind your back but keep her opinions away from you. Who needs 'em anyways? I can't imagine she'd have anything supportive to say - and you probably don't need to hear what she does have to say. Look on the bright side, you didn't have to hug her.
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