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I feel so Terrible
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: September 1, 2007 1:04 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all again.

This weekend is starting out on a very sad note. Doug was having a real hard time breathing and wanted to go to the hospital. The hospice nurse said he just needed to do his breathing treatment 45 minutes apart so he did. Doug asked me to sit in the bed with him and hold him I know it is looking bad for him to ask me that. We both cried and then sang some hymes and that's when I really cried. Doug comforted me. When I left he was almost asleep and seemed fine. It is a good thing I stocked up on food this past week so I could be home all weekend to be close by in case Doug needs me.
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1667
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: September 1, 2007 4:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Im so sad for you and doug both.....
You are a wonderful friend, and he
knows that. You are doing everything
you can for him and that is a wonderful
thing.
Im still sorry though......sorry that he
has this sickness and sorry that you
are so sad..
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swaneem



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1298
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: September 1, 2007 6:17 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have a lot of courage and heart, Barbara, and you're giving Doug a great gift by being there for him.

Hugs to you,

Donna
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Just when the caterpillar thought his world was
coming to an end..........God made him a
BUTTERFLY.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: September 1, 2007 8:57 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

keep hanging in there Barbara...You are one special lady...
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: September 4, 2007 8:31 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara,

How are you doing?????
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: September 4, 2007 8:16 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Thank you all.

Lady, I am doing well today. I've told Doug I would check on him often when his nursing asst. is not with him. She is with him from 9 to 1 p.m.
M-F. Doug had thought about going to a nursing home over the weekend because he would wake up with no one to help him. His adopted step-son is of no use to Doug at all almost. That boy sleeps all day and parties all night with some of the neighbors. The boy got so drunk about a month ago he fell off the toilet and went to the emergency room from hitting his head. Doug does not want anyone in his house who is drinking or has drunk and now I can see why. This has started to turn into a somewhat rant. Doug seems to have a somewhat better day today than others. I helped him pay a couple of bills this afternoon and helped him with his breathing treatment.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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Rusty



Quit Date:
December 13, 2004

Posts: 497
Location: North Florida

PostPosted: September 4, 2007 8:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara, Doug is so lucky to have you. Just be sure to take care of yourself, because caretakers need care, too.

Rusty
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The Buddha says: Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: September 8, 2007 5:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Thank you Rusty.

This school issue has really gotten me down and I have seemed to be broken at the moment. I know this is off topic to this post but with Doug so close to the end of his life and all the other pressures like the school issue, I just want to crawl under the covers and forget.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1667
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: September 8, 2007 10:59 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara K. wrote:
Very Happy Thank you Rusty.

This school issue has really gotten me down and I have seemed to be broken at the moment. I know this is off topic to this post but with Doug so close to the end of his life and all the other pressures like the school issue, I just want to crawl under the covers and forget.


You wont crawl under the covers...
From what I know of you that isnt your
style, and doug needs you, (and so do we!)
Your a strong woman, and a non-smoker dammit!!!
you conqurered that, you can do anything!!
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: September 9, 2007 1:43 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Thank you Pink,

I went to church today and the sermon was about Jesus fixing us when we are broken. Jesus is the molder and molds us like clay. It spoke right to me. I had to use the bathroom and bawled like a baby in the restroom and asked Jesus to fix me. I felt so much better after leaving church and then came home and had to deal with Doug being in a real fowl mood. I am a lot better though now than before.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1667
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: September 9, 2007 2:02 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad the sermon helped you.
Doug, i imagine, has his up and
down moods as can be expected.
hopefully if you see him later, he
will be feeling a little better.
Ill keep my fingers crossed.
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: September 10, 2007 9:24 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara,

Keep leaning on the Lord. He will get you through all this. He won't give you more than you can bare.
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I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: September 10, 2007 11:48 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks you two. I have written Doug a letter last night telling him I had to stop being his care giver because of how broken I have begun. I felt bad and it was one of the hardest things I had to do but I am of no use to Doug if I end up in the hospital with a total breakdown. I have sacraficed and done without for so long now and it's time to take care of me. I explained to Doug how it tears me apart to watch him being mistreated by his roommate and even the nurses. I also have my own issues now that need to be worked on after the disturbing harrassement I got in the meeting at Goodwil last week. This morning I worked on getting MY LIFE BACK! I ordered the daily newspaper for job hunting, made my apointment with the abuse counselor, got on a waiting list for older adults to have a job, called my voc. rehab. counselor, among some other things.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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daggy12



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 678
Location: Palm Bay, FL

PostPosted: September 10, 2007 9:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barbara,
Its one step at a time, always foward. You can not give if you are empty.
Take the time to breathe and let it surround you. ((((((hugs)))))))
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Life can only be "understood" by looking backward, but must be "lived" by looking forward.

Patty
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