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It's a good thing

 
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: September 29, 2007 11:45 AM    Post subject: It's a good thing Reply with quote

It's a good thing my boyfriend doesn't want a pretty, smart woman who has it all together because he would be SOL with me.

I'm a mess today. I'm broke, I can't get it together. It's his birthday and I'm not even doing anything for him except falling apart.

Lady
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I cannot change the past, but the future is waiting for me.
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: September 29, 2007 6:35 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((((HUGS))))) Hang on sweetie. Gee who has it together ever day? Wish him happy birthday and give him a kiss.
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: September 29, 2007 6:59 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've got it more together now. I hate days like this. You know, nicotine covered all these emotions for 23 years. I don't like to feel this much. There are times I really miss the Strong "me".

The only one upset was me. Crazy. Emotionally disturbed woman!
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: September 29, 2007 9:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hang in there Lady! Like Tammy said, "Wish him a happy birthday and give him a kiss." {{{{{Hugs to you}}}}}
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Essie
4/14/04
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: September 29, 2007 10:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lady wrote:
There are times I really miss the Strong "me".
The only one upset was me. Crazy. Emotionally disturbed woman!


Lady!!! Just who put the thought in your head that the "strong" you is gone? The strong you is still there! The strength is underneath all the bull crap those emotions are dishing out to you.

The smoking did create this mini escape/coping tool we relied on. But, frankly, really,...did we "want" to face the issues and feelings at the time back then and used it as a way to just avoid the whole issues of life. Heck, it's a lot easier to sit and puff...and become a zombie sorta. Heck...why not go get mashing drunk and avoid the troubles that way. It's the same results....numbness and escape....and avoidance. But does that make the troubles go away? A huge "no"! If anything it complicates and compounds them.

Ok..back to the issue of emotions....how to deal with them. First off, I've found that recognizing them and accepting them as they are. If you're scared...ok you're scared (this is an example only). Don't try to fight it or squash it and pretend it's not there. Face it....fact is scared. Ok...have the issue clearly in focus. Now what? Know start asking yourself "why"? and keep asking yourself that question until you get to the whole cause/root/core of the whole matter. Then once you have the main reason of such a feeling or emotion, then you can deal with it....usually by realizing that it may be a huge mole hill made into a mountain by assuming things that aren't true...or hurt feelings that need to be forgiven and released, fears and doubts of the future and that needs to be counter with faith and planning. To disperse negative feelings and emotions they need to be changed and reprogramed by positive ones. There can be no void...it's either one or the other....and the choice is ours to make! Yes, I'm finding that we do feel and have emotions, and emotional times, but after the initial time of experiencing them...then we need to make a choice...either to live in them or choose to not let them have a control over us and change the outlook.

Lady, the strong you is still there!!! Believe that and believe in you!

Love and Big Hugs
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Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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nichole



Quit Date:
April 14, 2007

Posts: 455
Location: So Cal

PostPosted: September 29, 2007 10:35 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hiya Lady! Good thing your bf chose such a sweet, beautiful, intelligent and strong woman!! Now, as a quit bud I'll say that you can get through anything without smoking. It won't make you prettier, smarter or more together. Quite the contrary. Now, as a fellow female... have a little pity party, then throw on an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself and have a date with bf!! It's okay to feel crappy... as long as it's not for long!! Celebrate all that is great about you!! Very Happy
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Lady



Quit Date:
July 1, 2005

Posts: 378
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: September 30, 2007 5:55 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Deb. You are so inspirational.

I'm better today. The emotions and dealing with life on a day to day basis get the best of me. I went to church today and I know that I'm so blessed.

I think I need to spend less time in my own head and more time on my knees. I'm still trying to find that person that God sees and loves unconditionally. I'm still trying to believe that others can really love me just the way I am and that I AM good enough just as I am. Do others learn this at the age of 17?

Thank you for the responses and for not making me feel like an idiot for being out of control.

Lady
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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: September 30, 2007 7:32 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lady wrote:
Do others learn this at the age of 17?


Nope!!

Don't feel lonely, Girl! I'm in the same process myself!!! Wink

Big Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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