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Dang Aggravated

 
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 10:22 AM    Post subject: Dang Aggravated Reply with quote

I mad today...completely and utterly mad, aggravated, ticked, etc

I'm cleaning my house or I'm driving in my car or I'm done eating......and the thought pops in my head...Go have a cigarette...and for a moment I think I should.

This is habit, I know but I want those thoughts to go away...I'm no longer a smoker and I no longer want a cigarette...it's almost maddening....well it is that I want to scream.

Before (first quit) I knew I would have these "cravings" and I dealt with them....I don't have "cravings" this time...just mind provoking thoughts as if I'm forgetting I'm a smoker....it's just stupid.

So while I was cleaning this morning this happen and I got mad...so sorry guys I decided to come here and complain and try to type it all out.

I know...deal with it because it's a part of the quit. And I am and will just had to get it off my chest.
_________________

I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.
~Tracy

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StuartH



Quit Date:
September 12, 2008

Posts: 105
Location: Cromer, Norfolk - UK

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 10:29 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

First of all, sorry you're having a rough day...

Yes, deal with it - but everyone has their own way of dealing with it.

You shouldn't be at all concerned by these thoughts - everyone that has done this giving up lark will have them. Everyone.

And you will have them forever. Not so many as time goes on, but you will have them.

Personally I find the easiest way to deal with them is to face them. I find that if I try to ignore them, they just seem to hang around and ruin my day.

So I find a quiet spot and talk to myself - in a whisper if need be, but moving my lips so I am actually talking.
I talk to the urge. It sounds mad but it works.

I always have the last word though, and that word is always "no".

They almost always go, as soon as I acknowledge them and tell them I'm not interested.
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 10:44 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Stuart...I need someone to be rational. Very Happy
_________________

I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.
~Tracy

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nicfirth



Quit Date:
July 17, 2008

Posts: 383
Location: England

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 10:47 AM    Post subject: Re: Dang Aggravated Reply with quote

Its a real pain when these urges sneak up on us and everyone has them!

Kissimee wrote:
I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.


You have said it in your sig you ARE in control, make the continued choice to beat them.

Think of the battles you have already won against the urge to smoke. Say to yourself "Ha! I won last time and I shall always win!"

Keep winning! We know you can! You know you can!

Nic
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 10:56 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Nic....You gotta love it when you eat your own words.

I'm not afraid of relapsing...I don't want a cigarette....I just want the thoughts to go away too. Smile

And yes, I will win! I have to, it's in my nature!
_________________

I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.
~Tracy

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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 1:23 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Tracy!

Yeah, those nasty thoughts that are soo annoying to say the least. I wrote it somewhere about just shoving aside those type of thoughts and not actually dealing with them...and what it lead to...yeah, we won't go there. But, each thought will leave quickly once you actually have the little showdown with it. Don't just say, one of those thoughts, and let it continue provoking you. You truly have to make a "conscience" choice...that is bring a truth and say it when a thought happens.

Ok, you're cleaning...and the thought happens, tapping you on the shoulder...hey, a cigarette would good right now. Stop, and look at what is happening.....your are cleaning, and no doubt, you've done the same as me in the past....clean for a bit, and stop and have a cigarette break. Bingo....break. So, now consciencely say....no, it's not the cigarette I want, it's a break I want. And with that...go get a drink...beverage, coffee, tea, etc and sit down and have a little break. Maybe flip through those grocery store ads, or read a little magazine article, or write the shopping list while you are resting for just a bit, before cleaning again.

See, you recognized the trigger, spoke to the trigger that it wasn't a cigarette you were wanting, "but"....and replace that thought with something else to take it's place...a break without it. And in this whole process you established a new break habit, and broke an old association with the smoking.

You've been riding high the last few days, and have been going on pure joy and excitement...now, the daily stuff, grind is coming back, and with it those old associations. Something I learned...the strengthen comes from making the choice....a conscience choice...not just hoping it would go away, and pushing it aside...but there is real power in a definite, concrete, and heartfelt choice. It's like facing it down, and shooting it point blank with truths.

Once you get through this one, there will be another. It will continue to happen....it's looking for a kink in your armor...it's fishing for an opportunity and way in. Just keep slamming the door shut. And instead of viewing it as a bother (it is annoying), but viewing it as just shutting one more door, and getting excited about doing it, it'll be easier, less maddening, and actually you'll really begin to get hyped about doing so. Wink
Hugs!

Big Hugs!!!

ps...if this isn't written well, forgive me...I'm operating on just a couple of hours sleep. Rolling Eyes
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 3:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Deb...you are so right and I didn't see it that way. I was too busy trying to convince everyone (myself included) I didn't want a cigarette to see the simple answer.

Get some sleep, hun! and thank you

((HUGS))
_________________

I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.
~Tracy

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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: November 14, 2008 6:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, we decide to quit....but the addiction always wants a smoke. So, to say I don't want to smoke...just didn't seem to work for me. I didn't want to continue smoking....but when an urge or thought happened it was hard to attempt to tell myself I didn't want one, when it was raging and screaming for one. That's when I began to realize...when I stopped and said, I choose not to smoke. That something clicked, and the thought urge disappeared. See, one has these feelings and such for a smoke, and they are real feelings we experience. So, to say, I don't want...when your body or mind is telling you otherwise, just doesn't seem to work. Personally, I believe it's this occurness where people quit on "willpower" and suffer thru it. It does eventually leave when you don't smoke either way. But for me, it's a whole lot simplier and easier when facing these to say...well, I might feel like having a smoke, but one will lead to going back to smoking full time, and I don't want that. So, I choose not to smoke.

I'm writing this, and hope you understand what I'm trying to convey, cause all the words just don't seem to do justice to what I'm try to say. There's a confidence that happens, and a power, that shatters those thoughts. It's like they leave knowing they are defeated.

And thanks, Tracy...did manage a small nap this afternoon.

Big Hugs
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Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 15, 2008 4:54 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have told myself all day "You can crave all you want but you are NOT going to smoke...NO NO NO!"

So yes, I can completely understand what you mean Deb...and I know I just have to keep closing those doors. But this was the first hard day...and I found it unfair. (which is quite silly..when has Laughing Demon ever been fair?)

Of course I can't sleep but I know this too will pass.

Thanks for the support guys....again
_________________

I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.
~Tracy

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Seabrez



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 4458
Location: Gulf Coast

PostPosted: November 15, 2008 8:39 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kissimee wrote:
But this was the first hard day...and I found it unfair. (which is quite silly..when has Laughing Demon ever been fair?)


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Yeah, isn't that the truth!! Wink He/It never fights fair! You did it, though. Standing your ground!! Good for you, Tracy. Very Happy

There was a time I used think that too.....it's unfair...just wish I didn't have to deal with all these ugh...thoughts and stuff. But, then realized, it's better than dealing with the other thoughts of hating smoking while being a smoker, and dealing with the guilt, the doubts it brings, and the havoc it imposes on the self-esteem. So, either way, it's a battle in the mind. Just decided, if I'm going to have to face and deal with something regardless, I'd rather face the thoughts of temptation and such, instead of the thoughts of guilt, etc.

Really....addiction is a back stabber....it'll smile in your face one minute to convince you that it's ok to smoke for whatever reason it uses at that moment, and then once done, it'll come back and accuse you for doing what it suggested in the first place. The definitely biggest catch 22 I've ever saw.

You know it's just a temporary condition...it gets better, which I know you know. Wink Just keep on going....and posting getting all those thoughts up and out...released.

Hugs Tracy....you are doing an awesome job with your quit!
_________________

Living in Freedom
Deb

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corn 5:17 NASB
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: November 15, 2008 10:02 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

WTG Tracy!! You've got it going on!! Smoking is NOT an option! kick old Laughing Demon to the curb....
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: November 17, 2008 12:22 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Weekend is coming to an end and I made it through. Cravings and Emotions were a little wacky this weekend but it's all good.

Thanks Everyone!

Tomorrow...2 weeks!
_________________

I can NOT control the addiction because if I could, it would NOT be an addiction...BUT I can control ME, the addict.
~Tracy

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Gidget



Quit Date:
March 14, 2008

Posts: 693
Location: New Haven, CT

PostPosted: November 17, 2008 1:26 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yayyyy, Tracy!!
2 weeks, you go girl!
Gidget
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My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.
-Elaine Maxwell
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