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I am an old fool
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 14, 2009 2:34 PM    Post subject: I am an old fool Reply with quote

As you all know I had plans on moving to Virginia to be with te man I love. I found out yesterday he is "dating" somone else and would throw me over in a second without a blink of his eye. For 3 years I have given my life for this man. Loved him stuck by him through everything. We had plans on getting into three way relationship(yeah you probably will look down on that.) but that didn't work out because of the third. Then he took this other woman and btw he is 28 years younger then I am and yes I know I should of figured.

Anyway. I believed him when he said he loved me that I was everything to him that I would be by his side forever. Then yesterday he gives me the "choice" of whether to stay with him or not. I choose to stay but It will now be on a very limited basis. I now feel like an old fool with no hopes of ever finding love. Because this man I did love with every fiber of my being. I was going to throw away this life and make a new one with him. Now I don't know.

I don't know what I want to do. I have been invited to move to Ohio and live with some freinds (X lover of my love). She I do trust for she has been there for me through all of this. She Knows my love as well as I do.
I feel like I wasted my time and money going to Virginia now don't get me wrong I loved Virginia I just don['t know if I want if I want to move to a state and city where I dont' know anyone now. Or do I want to stay in Michigan or move to Ohio.

Anyway I have to go and get off to work now and well I will check on this later.

Thanks guys for being there I think I may be spendng time on here trying to get my head straight and to keep from smoking yes thoughts of doing so have crossed my mind from time to time lately.
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1665
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: February 14, 2009 5:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

obviously hes not worth moving for.
look out for yourself, take your time
and think this out.
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 14, 2009 5:53 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona, you're far more important than you think. He has taken advantage of your good nature and, when it came right down to it, decided to behave like a spoiled little child. You're far too good for him.

Where you decide to live is now a decision you need to consider. Just know that we're all here for you. Whatever you do, do not smoke!! There's no one or no thing on this earth worth picking up a cigarette for.

((((((((Leona))))))))
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 15, 2009 2:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Pink and Jo as of right now we are talking but I don't really feel as if I trust him anymore. He hurt me more then he will ever know. I may or may not move to Virginia. If I do it will be more for me and getting away from Michigan and this bloody cld weather. I have also been invited to move in with someone and her fiance in Ohio which I am also considering.

I had two guys make a pass at me between yesterdsy and today but I am not interested in either of them and all they both were after is sex(cybering) and I realy am just plain not interested.

Now I am tired and going to bed. I am depressed and have been dreaming of him last night so didn't sleep well when I did finally sleep. So goodnight everyone.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
November 19, 2001

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: February 15, 2009 6:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

actually, he did you a huge favor; how would you have felt if you'd already packed up and moved there before finding out about this?

if a relationship with this guy - on his terms - is not what you want, then don't go there. at least, don't go there to be with him because you're hoping that you can make it work; i think you'll be disappointed. if you want to go to virginia anyway (which is perfectly understandable; virginia's a beautiful place - especially virginia beach) then go; but don't go with any illusions about him and you.
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 15, 2009 10:14 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well the poop hit the fan you might say. He threw me out of all his groups on allpoetry and then blocked me today he is accusing me of deleteing his groups because I USE to have his password I logged out of his account ages ago and never went back and I am sure he has changed the password by now anyway. *shrugs*

I am glad I found out now rather then moving there and being stranded all alone in a city of that size. Especialy being on a fixed in come the good news is though I have been invited to move to OHIO and live there. I am thinking abou tit.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: February 15, 2009 11:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

((Leona))) - Explore the possibilities! You'll know what will be best for you.
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1665
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: February 16, 2009 5:48 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

can you visit ohio first to see if you would like it?
where you would be living ect??
you must not like it where you are or you wouldnt be
looking.
Yes i agree, he did you a big favor.
Your better off staying where you are then moving
there with, or around him.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: February 16, 2009 6:22 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona,

I don't have much time to repsond so I'll try to say what I feel the most important. Stay where you are rooted to in history, friends, aquaintances, and all. Moving to somewhere where there is no history of that sounds like it could be troble. I'll try to chat with you later aftre I get back home.
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Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 17, 2009 12:19 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mary Dude, Pink and Barb,

I thank all three of you for this and I don't know what I am going to do yet. I have to get the money first and then I will completely decide what to do. I really do love this man still and that is what really hurts. I was going to go to him and give up this life I HATE. But now I don't know. I don't know what to do. He has turned his back on me and I am feeling so very alone. History is a problem for me here and no I don't have any freinds, or even aqauntences. I don't have the money to go out and hob knob with the locals or even go to town often. The only people that I talk to or even associate with are David(X fiance), his mother and my daughter.

I don't much talk to any of them at all. I am truely alone and with this bi polar I become more and more reclusive. Problem is that he couldn't handle me. I love to hard, cling to much and am jealous as hell and cannot curb any of it. It makes me crazy because it drives people off but even with my meds it is hard to control it. I do the best I can but.... well this is the results.

It is my Fault... *shrugs*

Yes he did me a favor not doing this when I had gotten to him. I love him and always will. But I don't know if I will ever go to him.
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 17, 2009 9:09 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona...((hugs)) Do what is best for you but do it safely and smart. No man deserves a good woman if he is going to act like that at any time.

If this was your daughter and she was getting treated this way, how would you feel? That is how I would look at it but this only my opinion.

I just want you happy and safe!
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jimotter



Quit Date:
November 19, 2003

Posts: 2409
Location: Everett Washington

PostPosted: February 17, 2009 5:40 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona
Just take care of YOU!
Jim
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: February 17, 2009 9:47 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Jim, take care of you! ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
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4/14/04
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: February 17, 2009 10:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kisseme, Jim, and Essie<

The problem is I dont know how to take care of me... I have been the one that was always ordred around and told what to do. It was different with Travis he atually loved me and I love him. Yes even aftar all of this I stil love him more then I could ever say.

It really hurts to not talk to him, to not be with him and not love him. It really hurts and makes me cry. I miss him horribl and wish that he would come back to me.

My mother said personally she would never talk to him again because he would do it over and over again. I am obsessive I think over him but don't know how to think anymore. I JUST WANT HIM BACK
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Kissimee



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 772
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: February 18, 2009 1:48 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leona...You have to figure out what makes you tick, what makes you happy...all that energy you are wasting on missing him, you need to be concentrating on you.

It's hard and it's not fun being alone but it's not fun being with someone you will wonder if they are going to break your heart again ... You deserve better.

I only say this because I've been there and it took me a long time to get pass the stage of thinking I needed a man to make myself whole....now I have a boyfriend that I enjoy...not need. There is such of a difference.

I hope your saddest times are happier and I hope you see how special you are and I hope your pain goes away....please think of yourself first. You don't need to be ordered around...you are a women with your own brain...You don't need a man telling you what to do.

You are the only You that counts right now! (((HUGS)))
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~Tracy

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