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Letting Go...

 
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 27, 2010 2:09 AM    Post subject: Letting Go... Reply with quote

is so very hard to do. Letting go of cigarettes, letting go of relationships, letting go of grudges, letting go of children, or anything else that was or is a big part of our lives is hard to do. Tonight I have come to the conclusion that letting go of my 3-D family is probably the best thing for me to do. I had done just that for so well until my older brother invited me to facebook. There I got a slimmer of hope that my younger brother and I could get back in good graces. So I sent him this poem I wrote the day before Mother's Day.
--------------------------


Holidays

Written 5-8-10 in the early afternoon:

When you donít like TV and your radio is all static,
I just sit and stare at the walls like they are mystic.

The loneliness brings my mind to good and bad,
Sometimes Iím productive but mostly Iím sad.

The booze takes the boredom out of my day,
When thereís no word from others what to say.

In this world where people are so misunderstood,
I go back and think of the shoulds and the coulds.

Sometimes I write in words that rhyme,
Sometimes I cry over things that arenít mine.

Families seem to be the biggest part of what makes your day bright.
I sit alone all Holidays because mine are no where in sight.
--------------------------------------

I saw this younger brother of mine whom I sent this poem to this past Sunday on Facebook tonight so I know he's been online for sure. He never answered my mail to him on Facebook or answered the emails I sent to his email addresses. I swallowed my pride and tried to break the ice. I didn't know how else to do it as I do not communicate well except when writing poetry. For the past 4 days I waited, checked over and over, for a response from him but nothing. It got me so down every day not hearing from him that I could barely function. I stayed in bed most of the time and lost all interest in things. Tonight I told myself that I am going to just have to let it go and accept that my 3-D family will never be there for me. I'm going to have to let the idea of family go and realize that it's just me like it has been for the longest time. At least I won't be continually getting my heart broke by my family no longer. It was this type of behavior from them that made me break ties with them before. So even though letting go is hard to do sometimes it just has to be done.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
November 19, 2001

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: May 27, 2010 11:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

(((barbara)))
_________________

keep choosing life!

kevin

the quit guru
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: May 29, 2010 3:03 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry your family isn't there for you...I wish they were.
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Rusty



Quit Date:
December 13, 2004

Posts: 497
Location: North Florida

PostPosted: May 29, 2010 5:06 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

BK, I completely understand that feeling. I am not close to my family, and after 60 years it still hurts, but I am very grateful that I have friends who are now my family. I would like it to be different, but it isn't and it never will be. Hugs to you.

Rusty
_________________

The Buddha says: Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: May 30, 2010 6:04 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the hug Kevin.

Mary, thanks for the thoughts.

Rusty, I have one friend whom I feel close to like she's family. Hopefully over time I will have more than her. My boyfriend is rather cool also but I haven't been going with him long enough to feel that connection of family like I do my girlfriend. I'm glad you have friends who have become your family.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: June 23, 2010 11:20 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've come to gripes now with not having my blood family in my life. My bf and I have had some rough times but we still prevail. Because of a lot of my baggage I carry before my relationship with bf I have been very mean to my bf in the now. He's really the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. He's stuck by me through thick and thin. To me he is my best friend, my lover and my everything. Even though I've let others in the past persaude me into thinking my bf's no good and acted negivitively with him becuase of it I now see the truth. I did him terribly wrong awhile back and even though he broke it off with me he still held me and stroked my hair the whole time he's breaking up with me. I don't know what I did to make him care for me so much but he does. I think that for the 1st time since my ex husband I am falling in love.

I didn't know that I would ever have someone in my life like I do now with my boyfreind. God has really blessed me. My bf does not smoke so that is another added plus with him. I have all of you to thank for putting up with all my whining in the past and supporting me in the processs. The Woofmang family and my bf is all the family I could ever need., Thank you all on this quit lunaverary of mine today of 6 1/2 months today.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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Mary Dude



Quit Date:
June 15, 2004

Posts: 4803
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: June 25, 2010 11:17 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy Lunaversry and Happy Life!
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Mary D.
Smoke-free one day at a time!
Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness!
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: June 25, 2010 11:40 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Mary.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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pinkpearl



Quit Date:
June 30, 2007

Posts: 1667
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: July 7, 2010 9:32 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

the poem is sad and touching,BUT WHAT WONDERFUL WRITING!
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Barbara K.



Quit Date:
December 23, 2004

Posts: 5977

PostPosted: July 8, 2010 12:09 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pearl,

Thank you. I read the poem to a friend last night who was on the outs with her son. She wanted to use my poem to give to her son. That made me feel good and it makes me feel good what you said about it. Thank you.
_________________

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn arouind and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Blessings,
Barbara K.
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