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LANEY
Quit Date: January 12, 2011
Posts: 322 Location: OHIO
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Posted: June 20, 2004 3:48 AM Post subject: FATHERS DAY IMAGE |
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Everybody tells me to write, instead of smoking, Right now I'm so mad and no way to blow off steam, (Its almost 4:00 A.M.) and i just came real close to lighting up. I just went out in the livingroom to turn off the tv. I had to climb over my son and 2 little grandsons. We had bad storms last week and he still hasnt gotten his lights back on yet. his x (and the boys mom) Is too busy with her boyfriend, she wouldnt let the kids stay at her house even though they should have them this weekend. She never even bothered to check on them, she doesnt even know or care where they are.When I saw all 3 of them, young dad and his 2 little boys all cuddled up on sleeping bags. kids arms wrapped around him, like they're hanging on for dear life. Normally it would be a great pic but I am so furious at her . They are only 3 and 7, they dont understand. I could just scream, or worse yet, let her get to me, she is a big trigger to me. My sons pack of cigs are with his keys. (and he smokes the good ones) very tempting. I took one, but put it back. It doesnt help that i just took a step down on the patches either. Im just glad times are changed and they realized dads can raise kids theirselves. I just needed to vent instead of smoking. Laney |
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jkolako796
Quit Date: May 16, 2004
Posts: 222
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Posted: June 20, 2004 12:03 PM Post subject: |
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Laney-
I don't know if there are any words that can comfort you, but be assured that those children will have a much closer relationship with their father because of trials like this. As a father, in times that are difficult, there is no place that I would want my children other than right by me, holding on for dear life. That way I know they are safe. A fathers job is to provide for and protect his children when they are that young. As they get older, that role will switch to teaching the children to be self sufficient, boys to be tough, girls to have self respsect so that they are not taken advantage of.
But for now, your grandchildren are safe with their father- and as a father, that is the best place for them.
Joshua _________________
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. |
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Snowlover
Quit Date: -
Posts: 566 Location: Northern California
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Posted: June 20, 2004 7:39 PM Post subject: Great |
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You did so great.
Hopefully your son will get remarried so the kids have another mother figure in their lives. You know you can't change their mom - have to let it go as best you can.
Next time she bugs you it should be less of a trigger if what I've read is true about this addiction thing.
K |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: June 20, 2004 8:15 PM Post subject: |
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you did the right thing, Laney; keep doing that, and you're home free! _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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Wanda
Quit Date: March 15, 2004
Posts: 425 Location: Carlisle, PA
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Posted: June 20, 2004 10:43 PM Post subject: |
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Laney,
My son just walked into the room and said mom you know I don't believe in Santa Clause any more, but what if I had pointy ears.
Its her loss, keep remembering that. _________________
Wanda
Quit Date 03/15/04 |
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merry
Quit Date: August 15, 2003
Posts: 167 Location: Liberty Missouri
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Posted: June 20, 2004 10:59 PM Post subject: |
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Laney,
Celebrate big for that decision you made not to smoke your son's cig!! You did sooooooooooo good! Smoking changes nothing and it will not make your grandson's mother change her ways. Just keep telling yourself that everytime you are faced with the choice of whether to light up or not......will smoking change the situation....NEVER!!! All it will do is make you more upset because you won't like yourself for doing it.
We've all been where you are at with the struggles and the major cravings. My husband still smokes so I know only too well what it's like to have cigs within reach. Everyday I still make the decision not to smoke. I'm not saying it's always easy...it's not, but as the months pass by I promise you it will get easier to choose life and kick that nicodemon to the curb!
You can do this and we're all here for you. Keep venting, we'll respond
Keep choosing a smoke free life! _________________
Mary
Q/D: August 15, 2003 |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: June 21, 2004 9:02 AM Post subject: Good for you |
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Dear Laney,
You did a fantastic thing for yourself by choosing not to smoke. Those wonderful grandchildren want you to be around to watch them grow up and you're doing the best thing possible to assure that.
Hang in, Laney. I know how you feel about your x-daughter-in-law; we have a son-in-law who has basically ignored our granddaughters for years. They're now in their teens and doing beautifully with their Mom and Step-Dad.
Keep that quit going.
Living free for 2M, 1W, 3D, 11H, 30M _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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Tammy
Quit Date: February 16, 2004
Posts: 2565 Location: Florida
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Posted: June 21, 2004 9:03 AM Post subject: |
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Laney, You did real good by putting that cigarette back. That shows strong commitment to stay quit. As far as the son's ex I'd say forget her if she didn't care enough to check on her kids the are better off with your son. Somethings in life we will never understand. Focus on your love for them. You give them extra love that they aren't getting from mom. _________________
Tammy
Free and loving it! |
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Leona
Quit Date: June 1, 2017
Posts: 1838 Location: Alpena, Michigan
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Posted: June 21, 2004 10:19 AM Post subject: |
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Laney
Congragulations on putting that cig back and not smoking it and for coming here to vent instead of smoking. That mom sounds alot like my x and his Not caring attitude. My son is now 21 and I left my x when he was 10 years old my daughter was 4 when I left so she only has a vague memory and that is ok too but what I am going to be getting at is even though i have not been with him for 11 years he has never sent my kida birtday, chriistmas easter or any kind of gift card phone call nothing. So don't let her get to you and you need to remember
Grandma's are mom's too so give those little guys all that you would of given your own children be mom and grandma to them. AT least until dad gets another partner.
Two months, one week, two days, 23 hours, 19 minutes and 13 seconds. 2838 cigarettes not smoked, saving $489.70. Life saved: 1 week, 2 days, 20 hours, 30 minutes. _________________
Quiting smoking is like a fine wine ......
It just gets better with age. |
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