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Guilt!!

 
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MorgandyMorgance



Quit Date:
June 28, 2004

Posts: 36
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: July 5, 2004 3:34 AM    Post subject: Guilt!! Reply with quote

I feel so bad... I've been snapping at everyone and everything today. I got it under control after about three hours after waking up, but I still wanted to bite off everyone's head. I was at my Aunt Tommy's house all day today, swimming, and I wore the anger out of me FINALLY...
But then I had to make a trip to my niece's great aunt's (the great aunt isn't related to me. long, long story) to spend the night here. Trish (the niece... she's 17. Another long, long story) was feeling so lonely she was crying, and she needed some help taking care of Linda (the great aunt). Linda has three different types of cancer, the main one being bone cancer. She was in the hospital for a week, and they weren't taking her on walks, so, of course, her bones stiffened, and she can hardly move now, so she requires 24 hour care until it's fixed.
Her children live here, but, surprise surprise, the jerks left her to go out and have fun on their own. That's why Trish is here.
Anyway, on the way, I stopped for gas. I stood out by the pump for 15 minutes, and the guy inside never got around to authorizing it, so I finally just had to leave to go to another gas station. I was SO angry about it, I was driving like a maniac, and that's just not like me!
*sighs*
I was even getting a little annoyed with Linda, and she's just such the sweetest woman...
How do I handle these irrational outbursts of anger?! I almost kicked one of my dogs this morning!! Crying or Very sad
That's really not a road I want to go down... I'm just glad I stopped myself, or I'd have spent the rest of the day in bed crying from guilt.
HELP!!
_________________

Nicotine withdrawal can cause depression, bodily pains, nausea and, above all, a desire to kill the entire human race.
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: July 5, 2004 7:34 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good morning Morgandy, and welcome to hell week. I am so in tune with exactly what you are feeling. During the first 10 days of my Quit, the song Purple Haze kept running through my mind. And the only things that would break through the purple haze were these incredibly intense emotions, anger, joy, sadness, giddiness, depression, quilt, laughter, tears (okay laughter and tears at the same time.) It has an unbelievable roller coaster ride.

Just try to take some precautions. I told everyone I encountered on a day to day basis, and sometimes perfect strangers on the street, depending on the circumstances, that I had Quit. Per the suggestions from the lovely Quitters in this support group, I learned to apologize, prefacing my apology with the statement, I have just Quit smoking and I am temporarily insane. I get my husband to drive me everywhere, so as not to needlessly endanger the lives of others. I pace in the office, I walk around the building at work, I yell at my hubby (he lets me), I take long hot showers. I promise myself rewards if I don't commit murder that day (and then follow through with the rewards.) I hung a bird feeder in the backyard and I spend hours in my Purple Haze watching them make a mess (pig birds.) I eat cake (chocolate being my favorite.)

I revel in my sense of taste returning. I ate a whole round of herbal bread at midnight one night and tried to identify each and every herb baked inside. I enjoy my newfound sense of smell. I bought some aroma therapy shower gel which I use for my long hot showers. And I post.

You are doing an awesome job Morgandy. You can get through this. One minute, one hour, one day at a time.
_________________

Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: July 5, 2004 9:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Morgandy,

Yes, Tonya said it all. Welcome to hell week. You're doing very well, though, so don't beat up on yourself.

Just remember to post, post, post.

Living free for 2M, 3W, 3D, 23H, 40M and loving it.
_________________

LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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MorgandyMorgance



Quit Date:
June 28, 2004

Posts: 36
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: July 5, 2004 11:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Starting week # 2 now! Day 8! very excited because this is the farthest I have ever gotten. I was in Walmart with my quit-muse, and when 6pm hit, we had a mini celebration in the middle of electronics.
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Nicotine withdrawal can cause depression, bodily pains, nausea and, above all, a desire to kill the entire human race.
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Zuzu



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: July 6, 2004 12:19 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

WAY TO GO, Morgandy!!! ONE WEEK is AWESOME! You totally ROCK! Keep hanging in there... it gets easier, but just deal with it where you're at.. one day at a time. YAY you!!!

-Zuzu
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bjj



Quit Date:
April 7, 2004

Posts: 1056
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: July 6, 2004 1:50 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Morgandy,
Congratulations on making it through hell week! It is indeed a rollercoaster ride. We are here for you. Post frequently. Everyone has given you such great answers, I have nothing to add except hang in, it gets better.


_________________

Bonnie

"Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so".
Emile Coue
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: July 6, 2004 11:50 AM    Post subject: This too will pass Reply with quote

Wow...I remember hell week. Hang in there, this all will pass.

For now cry if you need to...it does help. Sleep...your body is healing. Hang on for the roller ride of emotions...this is normal.

Just don't kick the dog.

You can do this...one day, one crave, one moment at a time. Every day it gets better.

Sandyz
Eight months, one week, five days, 18 hours, 49 minutes and 12 seconds. 11555 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,577.30. Life saved: 5 weeks, 5 days, 2 hours, 55 minutes.
_________________

"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."

~Anonymous
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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: July 6, 2004 12:41 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morgandy,

Just remember sweetie this is temporary. Practice saying I'm sorry I didn' mean that I just quit smoking." People will understand. You will get over this and you will feel better. Please trust me Hell week and the following heck week are aptly named. You can persevere though.

You can do this.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh

When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest, you must - but don't you quit
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns

And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow
You might succeed with another blow

Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst, That you MUST NOT QUIT
_________________

I wish you peace.

alison
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MorgandyMorgance



Quit Date:
June 28, 2004

Posts: 36
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 2:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much, everyone, for the support. Very Happy
Today's a very special day! This is the first day I did not experience morning cravings!
_________________

Nicotine withdrawal can cause depression, bodily pains, nausea and, above all, a desire to kill the entire human race.
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Girlphoenix



Quit Date:
June 29, 2004

Posts: 28
Location: Boston

PostPosted: July 9, 2004 4:49 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Morgandy -
Your quit date is the day before mine!!! And I see that yesterday you posted that it was the first day you didn't get morning cravings - and today I had the same thing happen to me!!! I got up, carried on with my morning ablutions and realized 2 hours into the day - I didn't ONCE have a craving. Amazing, a gift, a blessing!!!

Yay, us!!!!

I have been quit for Ten Days, 9 Hours and 18 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 17 Hours, by avoiding the use of 208 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $51.96.
_________________

Sarah
-----------
You never have to quit again!
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bwick18



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 580
Location: Florida

PostPosted: July 9, 2004 6:35 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morgandy,
You can't help how you feel now so there is no point in fighting it. You are learning how to live a whole new life and this is not easy- your anger will not hang around forever. Just remember this too shall pass. This does start to get a bit easier. You will learn new ways to deal with the things in life you never dealt with because a cigarette was your answer to most problems in life. Now you need new answers. You will find them. Keep trying. Don't give up. Hell week and Heck week just plain suck. Don't let Laughing Demon get to you.
_________________

Barb
After the rain comes the rainbow- I will get my rainbow back
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bjj



Quit Date:
April 7, 2004

Posts: 1056
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: July 10, 2004 12:24 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morgandy and Sarah,
Congratulations on your first crave free morning! I had to wait a little longer into my quit for my first crave free morning, but I definitely remember how great it felt! Very Happy
_________________

Bonnie

"Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so".
Emile Coue
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