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I don't wanna quit anymore

 
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smokefree04



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 66

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 12:25 PM    Post subject: I don't wanna quit anymore Reply with quote

I am to the point I don't care anymore. I just want a cigarette. This is NOT getting easier.
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 12:35 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah, I care. You have a great 6 months behind you that i know has been hell for you...and yet you still have not given in to the urge. I don't know what will start to make it easier for you....you just have to have faith that that moment will come....when you start to feel the calm and the strength of freedom.

And you know you can't have "a" cigarette. you know that if you take one, you'll shortly be back to full blown smokers hell...with all of the cost, dirt, smell, and disgusting consequences that go with it.

It's all or nothing. Or I should say, it's death or life. your choice....and I know you'll make the right one. And I reallly, really do care what your choice is.
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 12:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah, that's definitely your choice, and one I would hate to see you make.

At least be honest with yourself. That first smoke after 6 months is not going to give you that AHH feeling you remember. It's going to burn like hell, and you'll probably gag and cough.

Sadly, it won't take long for your body to crave that nicotine again, though, so while you're romanticizing that ONE that you have convinced yourself that you want----be sure to include the thousands that will follow.

What I hear more in your voice is that life is still hard for you right now, that you are still feeling pain (or more like it, FEELING it again because you're not medicating with nicotine), and that you want the pain to go away. Smoking is no longer doing this to you after 6 months. This is life, and sometimes we need some help in life. Please see a doctor, depression is a clinical condition that can be helped.

One thing I know is that smoking won't help anything, and you know that, too. Please take care of you!!

2 Cor 1:3-11
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 12:53 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah,

The threes are a nasty trap. Three months, six months and nine months are little traps waiting for us in our quit. You are feeling that overwhelming emotional attachment to the act you have associated with comfort. You are far enough away from the negative health effects (you are breathing easier and there are all sorts of hidden benifits that you can't see but are there none the less). I have experienced this and seen so many others go through this moment.

You don't want to smoke you just aren't ready to make the last change. You know that smoking will never make things better and that it will only steal away your life but you aren't ready to admit that you have to let go of the romantic notion that smoking ever did anything for you. You are fighting the change from smoker to non. In your head you are still a smoker that doesn't smoke. When you realize that you are a non-smoker now and begin to find other ways, truely, to deal with stress you will be home free. If you can't believe me then believe this, if you go back to smoking you will be unhappy, you and I both know that. Hold on a little longer and try and let go. You have come so many miles what's a few more feet?

Please Darlin don't give up now.
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I wish you peace.

alison
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smokefree04



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 66

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 1:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am not depressed, I am quite angry and every day that goes by I get angrier. I am moody, cranky, impatient and if this continues I could lose my job and piss off everyone around me.

I'm tired of not smoking. I'm tired of not drinking and I'm tired of being a grown up. ::grrrr::
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Marvel



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 297
Location: Tennessee

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 1:11 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah,

Please keep taking one step at a time. Don't let negative junkie thinking pull you back down. You're making the right, the best, the only choice for life, one second at a time. Be proud of yourself. This IS hard but it DOES get easier. HOLD ON!!!!
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Marvel
QD 10/21/2003

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alison



Quit Date:
June 3, 2003

Posts: 751
Location: Next Stop, Michigan

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 1:16 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well now Sarah the grown up thing is not avoidable, unfortunately we all have to be grown ups. Sounds like you are just having a bad time in general. How about looking at it this way. No matter how bad it is it is temporary. Good or bad never lasts so you should enjoy the heck out of the good and ignore the bad since it can't last. If you don't like your job change it, or change how you do it, but smoking will not make your job better now will it? Idiots in your life will remain idiots whether you smoke or not right? Some days are better than others and the song is so true sometimes:

"Mama said there'd be days like this there'd be days like this my Mama said"
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I wish you peace.

alison
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 1:18 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah, there are times I'm moody, cranky, impatient and angry. However, they have nothing at all to do with my smoking or not smoking. They are just there. These emotions may be more apparent now that you are not smoking. Just deal with them one at a time. Understand that smoking will not make these emotions lessen, go away, or be easier. They will still be there. You will just deal with them.


You are a fighter, so don't pretend you're not. If you weren't strong, you wouldn't be this far, and would have given in long ago. Keep that quit going, lady!
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howardl



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 32
Location: Elkhorn, Wisconsin

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 1:40 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hiya Sarah,

Ask yourself this........
"Do I wanna feel a little crappy now and a lot better later or do I wanna feel a little better now and die a slow horrible painful death fighting for my every breath while some fat slimey tobacco executive bastard takes his family skiing in Switzerland on my dollar while I die and then he claims cigs don't hurt people?"
Your choice Sarah.

Hey - everyone here knows exactly where you are - every one of us has been there. The towel is about to be thrown in at any second ........ what keeps us going? I'll tell you what it is it's called guts, it's called determination, willpower, it's called not giving into this any longer. Rolling over and dying is FAR too easy - quitting and taking respnsibility for yourself takes work. This is the price we pay for wanting better for ourselves.

Hang in there - you ARE strong - you've come this far. If nothing else just remember this guy:

http://whyquit.com/whyquit/BryanLeeCurtis.html

Stay Strong Sarah.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 2:52 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

there are some bible verses that are ambiguous (and therefore open to interpretation), but there isn't any equivocation in the words of paul in the passage you quote in your signature, Sarah: it doesn't say, "I can do some things", it says, "I can do all things"...
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Zuzu



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: July 8, 2004 3:32 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh.. hey Howard, I'd lay odds that the fat slimely tobacco executive is on oxygen in the next bed... you know, while we're skiing with our new friend, the trust fund daughter of the tobacco exec who's rebelling against her father and taking former smokers to Switzerland on vacation.

I think Sarah's dilemma is so important and gets to something Margaret was writing about about "inbetweeners" - for folks new in their stopping smoking there's wisdom in these words here.... As someone stopped for about the same length of time as Sarah, for me it's much easier.. I am not grumpy and moody daily due to not smoking and I don't really crave.. it's not easier to smoke than to not smoke. We're each different.. likely dealing with differing levels of physical and psychological addiction/dependency, at different stages of recovery and the whole process is different for each of us.

Does that mean that one of us did something right and the other something wrong? ABSOLUTELY NOT.. it means that we're each facing unique challenges and there are no predetermined outcomes in this effort. It means that stopping smoking is hard work and not all of that work is simply about resisting urges to not smoke - but also work in investing and engaging in recovery from addiction - and that looks and feels differently for each of us.

I'm with Kevin on this one... he does say ALL things.....

-Zuzu
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: July 9, 2004 12:58 AM    Post subject: Don't toss in the towel Reply with quote

Sarah...you can keep this quit. Don't cave to the craves. Alison is right about the 3's being a tuff time to get through for some of us.

I can feel your fustration and those feelings of longing to smoke. For some reason you are thinking about your smoking years as a warm and fuzzy time. You are forgetting what brought you down this non smoking path. The why's...

Six months is an awesome quit, something enternal has driven you to get this far. You must have wanted to quit so bad to have held on for so long. Reach back in your mind and look for what motivated you to make it to this stage of your quit.

Take the time (before you smoke) to write down all the things that will change for the good when you go back to feeding your addiction.

Make another list what positive changes being a non smoker has done for you.

If you are going through a bad time...will smoking fix it? Will you again long to be a non smoker? Will you beat yourself up knowing you made it half a year then took that puff? Ask youself what good will come from being a smoker again. How will it help you as a person? Will it make your problems go away?

If you are tired of being all grown up...be a child at heart. No one made the rule that just because we are aging in years that we must feel that age in our thinking. We can think child like by looking at each day as a mystery. Something new and wonderful waiting with every new day. I may age in years but I never want to lose the wonders this life has to offer.

You're only as old as you allow yourself to feel. Do something child like...run through the rain, jump in a puddle of water, run through the house, jump on the bed, toss stones in a creek, kick a can, crush a soda can with your shoe and walk hearing a clicking sound...laugh & laugh some more.

Start a journal counting at least five things you are blessed with each day. Never forget this little time we are here is just a speck in time in the grand scheme of things.

Yes, I believe..."I can do all things..." Ask for help Sarah. The Lord will help his children. We are all children still learning in our creators heart.

You will get through this down time if you can figure out what triggered it. I can't believe it's just the smoking. Some where in your thinking you are convincing yourself all things will feel right if you smoke. It's not going to happen.

Find some peace within your thinking and listen to the silence. Listen to what really matters in this life.

This is your quit, your choice, and your life. I pray you will continue to choose life.



Sandyz
Eight months, two weeks, one day, 7 hours, 47 minutes and 1 second. 11669 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,592.90. Life saved: 5 weeks, 5 days, 12 hours, 25 minutes.
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Carol



Quit Date:
December 9, 2009

Posts: 631
Location: Wisconsin

PostPosted: July 9, 2004 1:57 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah
A trick that I have learned has helped me through tough time on several occasions.
I know that if I give in and start smoking again that 2-3, maybe 4 weeks down the road I am going to want to quit again. I am going to be tired of the coughing and the irregular heart beats and the fear that I am having a heart attack. I am going to be unwilling to serve the Lord in the ways I am sure he wants me to, because I don't believe I present myself as a good example of a Christian woman, .....thus ,shame/guilt/ sadness. And I do not want to disappoint my Lord. He has given me so much. I do not want to make him sad. I want him to look at me and say "well done good and faithful servant."
And then when I decide again that I have had enough and I quit AGAIN...I have to go through everything I have already gone through. I have to do hell week again, heck week again, all the body adjustments again and this 3 months blahs and yes the SIX MONTH BLAHS again.
You are fully aware that the choice is yours and if you choose to smoke well,,,,just be sure you know what you are giving up and the consequences you are choosing.
May God give you the strength to endure and the strength to stay smoke free.
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CAROL
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lbuz



Quit Date:
May 29, 2007

Posts: 254
Location: New York

PostPosted: July 9, 2004 8:10 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah,

6 months is quite an accomplishment. I am at 4 and had a terrible time with the threes, they passed and I went on. Although I am expecting a rough time with the 6 month issue, I think we are all different. Personality type, reasons for quitting, how long we smoked, etc. I think that plays an important part in our quitting process. The one thing that got me about your post is that your post was so straight to the point, there was no in between. I hate to say this, but you need to go over your reasons for quitting, all the positives that have come out of it so far, forget about the negative for a minute and just write down the things that have improved since your quit. Believe me I have had many days like yours, I had an experience a month ago when it was very hot and humid outside, I always had problems with my asthma and allergies on days like that. Well I decided to cut the lawn and before I realized it I was done. I sat down and realized that I had just done this without stopping, something before would have consisted of about 10 breathing and smoking breaks, many glasses of water breaks and I felt great, I could have done the neighbors lawn too. I focus on that a lot, it's my little accomplishment that means so much to me that anyone else would look at it and say "so?" Find something in yourself that you are proud of (quitting for 6 months is a major accomplishment) re-train your mind to focus on that instead of wanting a smoke, you have to change your whole thought process or it will take a lot longer for you to get used to being a non-smoker. Don't waste all your energy fighting the demon, and start giving him a reason not to come around anymore.

You CAN do this!!!! Take care.
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Lisa
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bwick18



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 580
Location: Florida

PostPosted: July 9, 2004 6:45 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarah,
Don't give up your quit! You will be kicking yourself if you do. This is too special and too important. You have come to far. Yes it is hard but it looks like from your post message you have the most powerful force in all the world on your side! Trust that Sarah!!! You can do all things through Christ!!! Keep hanging on- don't quit quitting!!! Remember your health. Remeber how horrible it feels to wake up in the morning coughing and not breathing well. Remember the colds that were magnified by 10 because of smoking. Remember trying to cover up the smell, or not eating properly because you needed to smoke more. So many bad things- remember all the money down the toilet for something that will kill you in the long run. Remember Bryan Curtis (whyquit)and his small cell lung cancer leaving behind those he loved. Don't do it to yourself. please.
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Barb
After the rain comes the rainbow- I will get my rainbow back
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