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why is this getting harder?

 
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 12:02 AM    Post subject: why is this getting harder? Reply with quote

I really wish I could smoke right now. Why is everything just a little less fun than it used to be? Why did I ever do this to myself? I wish we could put tobacco companies out of business so that no one else will ever have to go thru such pain. What the hell was I thinking? Kerry Crying or Very sad
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 4:52 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good Morning Kerry, I feel your pain and would remove it if I could. You are doing such a great job in your Quit! Hang in there. And this too shall pass.
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 8:08 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was exactly where you were at your point in your quit. It seemed, for a time, to get harder, not easier. Also, the early enthusiam for quitting was starting to fade, and because lost.

time to get your list out of why you quit in the first place. Take a look around...and how much cleaner your house and car are,, how much better you feel, all the good things that have happened to you when you quit.

At this point, if you smoked just one, you might as well smoke thousands, because you'd be right back at it in no time. And shortly, you'd hate it just as much as you did before you quit. And, you'd have to start all over.

think about all this time you have invested in yourself, and just be assured that it does get better, it does get easier, but that you have to be patient1
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FIVE + years of freedom and loving it!
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Marvel



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 297
Location: Tennessee

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 10:45 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kerry,

You can do this. It does get easier, but you have to be patient, go with the flow, and ride the rollercoaster. Life has ups and downs and you're experiencing new things every day without nicotine, so you're not hiding behind a smokescreen and numbing yourself to what's not so great out there. Try to be positive, distract yourself from thinking about and fixating on cigarettes, and keep reminding yourself why you quit smoking. Those are wonderful reasons and they'll help you through the rough spots if you let them.

It absolutely will get better. HANG IN THERE!
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Marvel
QD 10/21/2003

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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 11:26 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Kerry,

We've all gone through those really, really tough times. It's old Laughing Demon doing the temptation thing. We all know we're far better off since we've quit smoking, not only physically better and emotionally better but mentally better too. No, it sure isn't easy but it's so very worth the effort.

Hang in with your quit and post to these boards whenever you feel you're weakening. There will always be someone here to answer your post.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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Ben's Mom



Quit Date:
July 6, 2004

Posts: 322
Location: Paradise, California

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 1:37 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kerry, Hope you are doing better now. These strong urges will pass. I am sure that is true.

When the desperation of my addiction is screaming at me for attention, I take myself to the Mountains of Mordor and throw it into the fire.

At the risk of sounding kinda out there...I so equate my struggle with my addiction to the story of Frodo and Bilbo Baggins. For instance, the accessability of the forbidden and the knowledge that what we desire needs to be destroyed.

One day our story of addiction will be just a memory and our freedom a daily reminder.

Take deep breathes and stay strong. We are all here for you.
_________________

I hope your dreams take you... to the corners of your smiles, to the highest of your hopes, to the windows of your opportunities, and to the most special places your heart has ever known.
unknown author


Last edited by Ben's Mom on July 11, 2004 3:37 PM; edited 1 time in total
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Turtle2000



Quit Date:
July 9, 2004

Posts: 10
Location: AlbQ, NM

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 3:23 PM    Post subject: Hurt my darned back Reply with quote

Gosh! Sad I am now on day three--day one and two i tried to stay so busy, i hurt my darned old back---CLEANING! Today i find myself half bent over, moaning, groaning and "jonesing" for a smoke. Guess i will stay to myself today, as i'm not fit for anyone else's company--my poor partner!! My prayer for Today--God, help me in my indeavor to quit smoking-i know i must help myself. Please let this be the time that i quit forever, and stop putting myself, my loved ones, and you through this torment.~amen.
Feels better.....
Now to take care of my back....
I should post to ya'll why i am called turtle....LOL.
Hugs,
Turtle.
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The Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want.
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essie662



Quit Date:
April 14, 2004

Posts: 3388
Location: MI

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 8:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kerry - It helps me to look back at how many days I have not smoked. Then I ask myself if I really want to ruin all that time now. I think I would rather move on than have to start over. Hope you feel the same, 2+ months is a long time really. Keep fighting the urge, I'm sure you won't be sorry. My best!
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Essie
4/14/04
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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 10:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

All I can say is you will have your ups and downs. I wish I could wave a majic wand and make it all better for all of us........Time and patience is what it takes. I know it's hard....I'm battling this addiction with you. We will endure...We are enduring. One day at a time........
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merry



Quit Date:
August 15, 2003

Posts: 167
Location: Liberty Missouri

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 10:02 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kerry,
I will be celebrating 11 months of freedom this week. I've been where you are now and I can honestly tell you it will get better. I lived on these boards during the first several months of my quit and see, I'm still here! You'll get through this one day, one minute, one craving at a time. Keep posting, reading, and keep choosing life! Each time you experience something without the nicodemon in your life, you will become stronger and more able to kick him to the curb!
Chewing gum has been a lifesaver for me and I was never a gum chewer before. Get your list of reasons for quitting out and read them again. Don't forget to reward yourself for a job well done. You sooooooooooooooooo deserve it!
And here's some flowers to brighten your day!

_________________

Mary
Q/D: August 15, 2003
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 10:43 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kerry:

I'm late in responding, and I hope you got through the tough spot you were in a couple days ago.

I had breezed along pretty well for a few weeks and then ran into a buzz saw at about the three month mark. I had about four bad days in a row, and I actually bought a pack of cigs and lit one up. All I could handle was three puffs, and they were so TERRIBLE and made me cough SO BAD that I just tossed the stupid cigarette down. I gave the rest of the pack away and have not had another puff since then.

Seems like that was the last major battle I have had to fight. I have not struggled much at all since then. So, cheer up, cause it really does get better. There really is an end to the real bad cravings.

Tom

I have been quit for 6 Months, 1 Week, 3 Days, 11 hours and 12 minutes (193 days). I have saved $725.49 by not smoking 5,803 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 3 hours and 35 minutes of my life.
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If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 7:54 PM    Post subject: MADE IT THROUGH!!! Reply with quote

Thanks so much everyone for all of your support. Saturday was such a hard day for me. It also happened to be the 2 year anniversary of my last quit (which obviously failed). What made the day so hard was that I was at a non-smoking party that day and still struggled. That is the third time this has happened this summer. I don't get that. Most of my friends don't smoke, you'd think that would make life easier. I'm one of the last people I knew who smoked and was a closet smoker when I was with new friends I had made. It SUCKED always wondering if, when or where I could smoke. I don't have to do that anymore and yet I still struggled. That was what made me so sad. If I struggle when in non-smoking situations, how will I handle smoking ones? Anyway, Sunday was a little better. I read some info on smoking related illnesses and that always keeps me grounded. Today I took my kids to the pool. My first thought was, 'my first time here with out a smoke Sad ' Then I actually heard myself. I was actually hit between the eyes!! I realized what a piss poor attitude I had. So I made myself have a new dialogue. It went like this, "I was a closet smoker around my kids so this year, I won't have to go into the parking lot and hide. Secondly, my husband isn't here with me today so I couldn't go into the parking lot anyway which means by about 3:00 I would have been a royal beast. For once, I have the freedom to stay at this pool and play with my kids and talk with all of my non-smoking friends." It's amazing what a little attitude adjustment will do. Will I still miss smoking from time to time? I assume that I will. But I need to keep readjusting my attitude and having a different dialogue. It's time I grow up and say enough is enough. I am a 42 year old woman who has done enough damage. I have three children and a husband who rely on me. And life, without a doubt CAN be just as much fun as it ever was. Onward ever onward. Thank you again so much. Kerry Wink
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: July 12, 2004 9:13 PM    Post subject: Re: MADE IT THROUGH!!! Reply with quote

Kerry wrote:
And life, without a doubt CAN be just as much fun as it ever was.

in fact, it can be more fun than it ever was. good for you for realizing where the adjustment needed to be made (in here, as opposed to out there). Very Happy
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Ben's Mom



Quit Date:
July 6, 2004

Posts: 322
Location: Paradise, California

PostPosted: July 13, 2004 5:09 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kerry, Your story is exactly like mine. Non-smoking friends and closeting myself when meeting new friends. Kerry, we are going to be so blessed now that we have quit. No more secrets, no more lies, no more hiding for any reason.

Kerry, for years I have isolated myself at times from my children, friends and coworkers because I knew I could not not have a cigarette. I am so thankful that my quit gives me a chance to really "be there."

It sounds like you have already changed your self-talk and again proven to yourself how courageous you are for quitting.

Keep up the good work!
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I hope your dreams take you... to the corners of your smiles, to the highest of your hopes, to the windows of your opportunities, and to the most special places your heart has ever known.
unknown author
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