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I'd walk a mile for a camel

 
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Turtle2000



Quit Date:
July 9, 2004

Posts: 10
Location: AlbQ, NM

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 9:40 PM    Post subject: I'd walk a mile for a camel Reply with quote

Oh, the nicodemon's lies Shocked Picture this: Here i am fresh from the hospital, on O2-half way into my third day in detox. Cold Turkey detox. There is a little mini mart type thing prolly half a mile or so up my street. Yup, they sell sickeretts, and know me well. My partner has my car (hers is broke down)....so.....I would have to WALK up there-of course to buy a pack. Nicodemon has me in a headlock. I was actually thinking about filling my tank, dragging it in its cart-ember now, i get short of breath walking from the recliner to the bedroom--and i'm thinking about walking a total of 2 miles, for Scowling Demon <------crazy

Gosh, the emotions that can be felt in the matter of seconds.

I have injured my back from cleaning and puttering the past couple of days, and today i am unable to 'putter'---my way of dealing with Scowling Demon
I believe that has made today much more dreadful, and also it being day 3.

It is true--the craving passes. I dunno about the 3-5 minutes--i guess i need a timer, as it felt like a good hour. I have to do a lot of planning if i'm going to get anywhere with this o2 and body i've got---

I need to remember--i'm not going to smoke this second. This minute. This 5 minutes. ....this morning....to make it through this journey.

Thank you for giving me the space to rant here--i am greatful and blessed by all of you. Good luck to all with the Scowling Demon Good luck to me. Hmmmm.....i don't think luck has anything to do with it....it is sheer determination.

Hugs to all...
Turtle.
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The Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
-

Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 10:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

don't fight the cravings, turtle, they're a normal part of the process. there's an old saying that says, "what you resist persists", and i think that's doubly true for craves; the more you resist them, the stronger they feel and the longer they seem to last.

my suggestion is that you just observe the crave, as if you're standing outside of yourself. there's no need to react to it at all, since you've already decided in advance that you are in no way, shape, or form going to smoke in response to it, so just observe it. try to describe it objectively to yourself, as if it was happening to someone else.

what i think you'll find is that it's not as scary as it was when you resisted it; in fact, it's not that bad at all. what makes a craving difficult for us to deal with is not the pure experience, it's all the extra stuff we add to the experience.

you can do this. you're doing fine.
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keep choosing life!

kevin

the zen of the quit
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Turtle2000



Quit Date:
July 9, 2004

Posts: 10
Location: AlbQ, NM

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 10:44 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kevin, you are more than wise about this whole Scowling Demon --You help me find that 'Zen' place that i need so desperately. For every post i have recieved from you is like a cool hand on my forehead, or a pat on the back...Thank you so much Kevin.

Your words of advice and encouragement are fine, emerald cut gems.


Thank you,
Turtle.
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Mindy



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 1074

PostPosted: July 11, 2004 10:46 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Turtle,
One day at a time..........Embrace the craves....that sounds silly I know......Kevin is very wise and always gives the right advice!
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