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4 month rant

 
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Wanda



Quit Date:
March 15, 2004

Posts: 425
Location: Carlisle, PA

PostPosted: July 15, 2004 9:10 AM    Post subject: 4 month rant Reply with quote

My goodness, I wonder where this rant will take me. I'm starting a journey with these words just as I did 4 months ago when I threw my smokes away. I didn't know then if I would make it, I'm not sure I even planned to make it. I quit every 2 or 3 years the whole time I smoked. 8 weeks was about my max before. I'm at double that, I just might make it.

I recently posted my fortune from a cookie that said something about a roller coaster ride, well yesterday I was thinking about my roller coast ride, and I though I'm teetering. Which made me think my journey wasn't really any longer a roller coaster but more like a teeter totter. I'm up and I'm down, I'm never down for long, and when I am there's always someone to pull me back up(that would be you guys, Thanks).

I like being smoke free, most times, but sometimes Laughing Demon makes me think I'm missing something. Then its pity party, party of one, right this way. It never lasts long anymore, I have things to do, I'm a busy lady!

I just clicked on my quit counter, and then the milestone window. It doesn't seem to offer many milestones, but it always has a little something to keep me going. This morning it showed me pink lungs . Everybody take a deep breath, there's just somethings that sparks me to do that sometimes. I guess its kind of like a reward, look at me I can breath.

What advice do I have at four months, don't smoke. No seriously do anything but smoke. The more time passes, the farther away from it you get. My back door was always my weight, but at 4 months I'm starting to feel like I can take on the challange of losing it. In my previous quits I would always crack at two months because of the weight. I would panic and the only way I could think to lose the weight was to smoke, thats a hell of a diet. I'm fat, i think I use a weight loss product that will kill me.

My son is a smoker, he's at our house this week. He's in the army and home on leave. We hadn't seen him for a year and a half. One year of that was spend in Iraq. We're very glad to have him and his wife home. It has been a new challenge for me. You quitters that live with a smoker, you have my vote for the strongest people in the world. No way I could quit with cigs laying around, my hats off to all of you. I know some send them for a circular bath. I'm just really glad I was so far into my quit, before I had to deal with this.

I don't know what I'm going to do for me, I haven't been rewarding myself so much anymore. I never really have, now that I think about it. Here are some rewards. I can kiss my husband w/o thinking about cigarette breath. I don't have to rush out of a restaurant lighting a cig, so i can get a few drags in before i get to the car. I don't have to stand outside like a homeless person to smoke. My son will give me lots of hugs cause I don't stink anymore. I can travel with my smokefree friends, without being pissed that they put me in a non-smoking room. I can spend 35 dollars a week on something that isn't killing me. My car doesn't stink, or have ashes all over it. I don't do that awful throat clearing anymore, and I can take a deep breath.

That's it, thats my rant, now I have to get to work.
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Wanda
Quit Date 03/15/04
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leen



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 199
Location: wisconsin

PostPosted: July 15, 2004 9:59 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Way to go. Love the rant. Happy for you that your son is home. Keep up that great quit. I am looking forward to my fourth month. I am looking forward to getting off the rollercoaster and on to the teeter totter. lol
Happy for you. Have a great day.
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: July 15, 2004 10:03 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Wanda,

You said in your rant that weight gain is an issue for you. It is for me as well so I have a suggestion on how to reward yourself. I purchased a treadmill with my cigarette savings. That was my 3-month reward. I'm up to 1/2 mile at a time now. I don't know if this is going to help me lose the weight but it sure can't hurt. I'm trying to watch my diet too.

I really enjoyed reading your rant. You hit the nail on the head. I'm thinking and feeling so many of the same things you are. It's great not to be smoking, isn't it?

So happy to hear that your son is home from Iraq. We have a family member in the Army 1st Cavalry who is stationed just outside Baghdad. It's a worry but he tells us that the Iraqi people are happy to have them there; very different from what we're hearing on radio and TV. What does your son tell you?

Hope everything continues to go well for you and your quit.

Living free for 3M, 4D, 12H, 30M and loving it.
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Jo
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: July 15, 2004 10:29 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Wanda, what a lovely, positive rant! Thanks so much for sharing your rewards.
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: July 15, 2004 10:41 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Wanda, that's a great ramble.

Quote:
I like being smoke free, most times, but sometimes Laughing Demon makes me think I'm missing something.


You are missing something, Wanda. You're missing the chain that kept you imprisoned to Laughing Demon. I think that as smokers we are like prisoners who never really adapted to life on the outside. Life was dictated by our captor, Laughing Demon and we never had to make hard decisions without him. One day, our sentence ends....the prison door is unlocked and open, and we are free to go.

But, do we rush out the door, eager to take advantage of our full freedom? Some of us stay behind, because we're afraid of being out in the world thats so big and scary because we have to make our own choices and create our own destiny.

right now you are still in the cell, but the door is wide open. you are free to go anytime you choose. There are no more chains tying you to a life of inprisonment. Soon, I think you'll find that you are able to cross the threshold of that cell and emerge on the outside of that prison, and that you'll be able to deal with everything that's out there on your own.

You keep going, Wanda....you're almost there.
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