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Not easy lately

 
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 24, 2004 8:38 PM    Post subject: Not easy lately Reply with quote

I swear, lately I think the only reason I have not relapsed is you guys here and a couple people at work, whom I believe were at least to a small extent encouraged to quit smoking because I had been quit for a little over four months at the time. Those people are dear friends that I have worked with for almost 30 years, and they are a married couple. I am SO PROUD of them for quitting, and it would really upset me if they relapse, and especially if I thought I might have been partly to blame.

I don't want to hurt someone else's chances of making it by failing in my own quit.

I am not having those crazy, overpowering urges to smoke, but I am having more of a constant sadness, sense of loss, whatever.

Maybe I got off the happy pill too soon, but I didn't think it made any difference when I started on it, and I didn't think I could tell any difference when I got off of it. I was taking one Bupropion (150 Mg) per day.

I was telling you guys about my financial problems and my wife's Mother Teresa Complex the other day. Things are the same as far as that situation, but now my daughter and son-in-law are having trouble, so I have that to deal with.

I know there are about a zillion people with much more serious problems than mine, so I need to just suck it up and go on with life.

Tom

I have been quit for 6 Months, 3 Weeks, 1 Day, 20 hours and 40 minutes (205 days). I have saved $771.97 by not smoking 6,175 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Weeks, 10 hours and 35 minutes of my life.
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Ben's Mom



Quit Date:
July 6, 2004

Posts: 322
Location: Paradise, California

PostPosted: July 24, 2004 8:53 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tom,
Your "problems" are important to you and therefore, important to us. That is why this site gives us strength to carry on when it just seems like carrying on isn't worth it. I am sorry to hear about your daughter and what is the hardest is sometimes realizing we can do nothing to help.

I am amazed, really, at all of us who are experiencing these real depths of depression or sadness after a quit. I just don't remember reading so much on this topic and it is an important one. Sometimes, I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread and all it will take is the one weak moment to pull into my cig store. Alas, this has not happened and for the reason that I too now feel accountable to not only myself, but others. Many of whom I have never met. Who would have thought that total strangers would give me the strength I needed on a daily basis? I know if it weren't for all of us here I would not have made it.

Hang in there Tom and keep sharing. Your insight and humor is so important to us.

Laurie
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 24, 2004 10:13 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Marg... will check out your ramble. Smile

Tom
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 24, 2004 10:15 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your post, Laurie.

It's sure nice having such good buds! What would I do without you guys?

Tom
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: July 25, 2004 11:18 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Tom,

Please don't give in to Laughing Demon . No matter what you're feeling and dealing with, you know he isn't going to make it any better. Oh, and by the way, REAL MEN DO CRY! If you feel unhappy and depressed, go have a good cry. Sure can't hurt anything to "let it out."

As for the problems your daughter and son-in-law are having, you can do nothing to "fix" it. Our daughter went through a divorce 9 years ago; he left her with two adorable little girls ages 10 and 6. My husband and I were heart-broken for her but watched as she picked up the pieces of her life and provided a happy, loving home for our granddaughters. Naturally we did all we could to help. She is now re-married to a fantastic man who adores her and honestly loves "our girls." So, you see, God may have something in mind that we know nothing about. Marital problems are the pits, I know. But would smoking fix anything? I think not.

Tom, you've been such a wonderful inspiration to me and to others. Please let us help you. If you think the medication would helo get you through this, go for it. Like Margaret said, it's better than smoking.

Take care and post often. We all love you.


---
3m 2w 13:47 smoke-free, 2,948 cigs not smoked, $570.29 saved, 1w 3d 5:40 life saved
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 25, 2004 11:40 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Jo. Wink

I'll take all the help I can get! That's what we are all about in here. Thank God we all don't have our weak moments at the same time! When one of us is having a particularly bad time, there are many who are doing OK and can give support. Pretty cool arrangement, huh?

Jo, I really could not tell that the Bupropion was making any difference in my quit. I didn't even start using it until I was having that bad time at three months, and those urges stopped before the Bupropion had even had time to build up in my system enough to do anything. They say it takes a week to ten days for that stuff to become effective. Also, I was already having my current depression before I stopped taking the stuff. I can't say it is any worse without the happy pill than it was with it. (I've been off long enough now that it should be out of my system.)

Tom

I have been quit for 6 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days, 11 hours and 57 minutes (206 days). I have saved $774.36 by not smoking 6,194 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Weeks, 12 hours and 10 minutes of my life.
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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: July 25, 2004 11:57 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tom, sorry you haven't been up to snuff lately. I just had a conversation with a co-worker who has been Quit for five years. Can you imagine how wonderful that is going to be? She says it took about a year for her emotions to stabilize completely after her Quit. The first days, weeks and months were the worst and then it gradually got better and better as she approached the one year mark. She says quitting was the best thing she has ever done for herself mentally, emotionally and physically. She says that never again has she experienced the emotional highs and lows associated not only with her Quit, but associated with smoking as well. Her tesitmonial really helped me today and I wanted to share it with you.

Hang in there Mr. Tom. WE can do this!
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 25, 2004 12:56 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tonya:

Thanks! That is definitely good info and very timely for me.

When I was going through the toughest part of withdrawal, it was very important for me to know that there would be an end to the suffering. I could stand it as long as I knew I had something to look forward to... an end to the cravings, or at least the cravings becoming very infrequent.

Now in this new phase, it is good to know that it will also come to an end. I really will become comfortable again it sounds like. If that takes a year, then I am a little over halfway there. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever really be able to feel "complete" again.

Thanks a bunch, Quit Buddy!

Tom

I have been quit for 6 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days, 13 hours and 26 minutes (206 days). I have saved $774.59 by not smoking 6,196 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Weeks, 12 hours and 20 minutes of my life.
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 27, 2004 9:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here we go again!

It would have been very easy for me to go buy some cigs and fire one up this evening. Mother Teresa has been at it again!

She took her damned daddy to the doctor, and he thinks he is too good to use the local doctors, so MT has to drive him 50 miles round trip. It seem like he has to go to the doctor about once every two weeks, maybe more often than that on the average. Well, since the baby seat is in our car, and because MT keeps the granddaughter, our car gets driven the 50 miles every time the father in law goes to the doctor. I asked MT if her daddy gave her any money for gas, and she said he said he would, but then didn't ever get around to doing it. That's the way it is EVERY FRIGGIN TIME! (Well, sometimes he will tell her to pull into a gas station and he will pay for some gas, but the car is too near full. Instead of giving her some money, he just forgets about it.)

Now I want you to know that my father in law has virtually NO monthly bills. He eats just about every meal at my house, so no grocery bill. He has no car payment or house payment. He pays only utility bills. He draws a TVA pension, Social Security (from his work before TVA), and he recently qualified for black lung benefits. He is so well off that he lets his pension checks sit around uncashed until they go out of date and have to be re-issued!!!!!! So why in the HELL does my wife think she needs to do all the stuff she does for him for NOTHING! He could afford to pay her something as a salary for all she does for him. My mom and dad used to pay her $100 per week to come out to their house for 4 hours a day, five days a week and do stuff for them. They also turned their car over to her to drive. But it sure ain't like that where my father in law is concerned.

Also today, our car was driven on a 100 mile round trip to take my daughter and the granddaughter to the doctor in another town. Of course, no gas money was asked for and none was offered. My daughter's perfectly good Explorer sat here in our driveway while they were gone in our car.

Now you know that last week MT drove our car about 200 miles round trip to take my daughter to see her out of town friend. No gas money was given then either. My daughter VOLUNTARILY took a day without pay to go see her friend, but MT thinks she needs to drive our car so that my daughter won't have to spend money for gas.

DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!! I AM SICK OF THIS!

Tom
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Leona



Quit Date:
June 1, 2017

Posts: 1838
Location: Alpena, Michigan

PostPosted: July 28, 2004 11:43 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tom,

Do you have the availability of another car besides MT"s car? IF so let hers sit on empty and see if she fills it. YOu said before you were living on your income only. Well take and make sure she has to ask for money and then ask her what it is for. If groc then fine if something for her then fine otherwise tell her to get a job and do her MT impression with her income.

Three months, two weeks, three days, 43 minutes and 28 seconds. 4321 cigarettes not smoked, saving $745.41. Life saved: 2 weeks, 1 day, 5 minutes.
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: July 28, 2004 8:01 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tom,

Boy, I can sure understand why you're really ticked off. Who wouldn't be? I have no solution to your problems; sure wish I did. You're such a wonderful person, you sure don't deserve this kind of treatment.

Is there some way you could call a "family meeting" to let everyone know what's been going on and that you and MT can no longer afford to be everyone's financial support? Surely everyone knows what your financial situation is but MT sure isn't acting like there's a problem so her father and your daughter find it very easy to take advantage.

Sure wish I had a better solution, Tom. You've been such a huge help to me I'd like to be able to help you. Just hang in there. We're all with you.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: July 28, 2004 9:48 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, you guys.

I'm hanging in there, and I still have my quit. I am fairly calm tonight.

I'll make it, with the help of my friends.

Tom

I have been quit for 6 Months, 3 Weeks, 5 Days, 22 hours and 18 minutes (209 days). I have saved $787.23 by not smoking 6,297 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Weeks, 20 hours and 45 minutes of my life.
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If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
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16Ocean



Quit Date:
April 16, 2004

Posts: 400

PostPosted: August 2, 2004 1:18 AM    Post subject: Hey!!!! Reply with quote

Oh my gosh, this was strange reading from you, YOU, who ENCOURAGE so many, and who IS there for others, YOU really do help so many here, and that is SO COOL about the couple you work with!!!! Hey, I smoked for about 30 years, and my new thinking is, maybe the want, to have one will stay until I am gone, this month, have wanted to smoke alot. Or at least, not what I really want to do, smoke, just old tapes playing in the head maybe?? Gosh, I dont think you will smoke, I read what you write to others, and I am very thankful for you, we all are very lucky to have you here with us all. Besides I just LOVE YOUR JEEP!!!!!! Its a jeep, right??? I grew up in one, I believe. Hey, Tom, I think it is possible to feel a loss, alittle down, I felt that way alot after I quit, it is a loss, it just is a VERY GOOD LOSS, the good news about grieving a loss, it does not last forever, it is for a time, then we become stronger, and we move on to the positive things in our lives, we start back at doing LIFE again, and since life is filled with many challenges for us all, just maybe in different ways, of course, it seems natural to think of smoking, and to think, we want one, which I do not believe we really do, not when we know all the facts about smoking, etc.....Hey, this is the good life, NOT SMOKING!!!!! I am coming to the conclusion, that maybe, it is just a FACT, there will be those times, we (think) we want to smoke, knowing it will pass, makes it a little easier, just have to let some time go by, until that all consuming thought is GONE! Hey, I think you are one AWESOME GUY, okay????!!!!!!! Yes, do believe we surely do all need one another, isnt so cool we have this place to come, say how we are feeling, and people respond, then, we realize, hey, I am not alone in this feeling I am having, someone else felt this way too, or just the knowing there are so many people on here that truly care about you, and would truly feel sad if you smoked, we all want you around for our selfish reasons, you actually write back to so many, and that means alot, and says alot about you, take care Tom, God be with you, Heidi
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