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He would have been 53 today
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 8:16 AM    Post subject: He would have been 53 today Reply with quote

I want to share with my Quit Buds the memory of my cousin, Perry, who died on Arpil 1, 2003.

Perry and I were much more like brothers than cousins. We were two years apart in age, and we spent many, many hours together as we were growing up. We continued to be very close as adults.

Perry got very sick, and it took exploratory surgery to discover that his abdomen was full of cancer. The cancer was not in any organs, but it was around the intestines, choking them. It was inoperable, and the surgeon referred him to some oncologists. The oncologists bought him some time with chemotherapy, but they could not offer hope beyond that. Their prognosis, unfortunately, was correct. The gains made in chemotherapy were lost, and the cancer came back worse than ever.

Perry never once took a puff of a cigarette. He never took even one sip of any kind of alcoholic beverage. He exercised regularly by playing basketball. Boy, he sure loved basketball!

You just have to wonder why things happen. In his case, I guess his genes were his worst enemy. His mother died of breast cancer, and an older brother died from a brain tumor when Perry was only about three years old.

People, they just don't come any better than old Perry. He was a fine man. I miss him so much!

Perry was a man of simple pleasures: if there ever was a person that can be said of, it was Perry. New and fancy things did not impress him one bit. He liked to have two or three older pickups or cars rather than one brand new one. He took pride in having older vehicles that looked good and ran well. He wasn't a mechanic, but he did the simplest of the maintenance items and made sure to have the other items taken care of on schedule.

He kept to his own business. I do not remember even one instance when he tried to convince someone to do something the way he thought it should be done. He did things his way, but he didn't try to impose his opinions on anyone. Wouldn't it be great if we were all like that????

Perry loved animals, especially dogs and cats. He worked for very little more than minimum wage as a security guard, and most of his work was in inactive strip mine lands. The guards would befriend the dogs that people had dumped out there in the mines.

One day, Perry noticed that one of the stray dogs had been hurt, so he took it to the vet. It turned out that the dog had been shot in the jaw. Perry paid for the vet bill out of his own pocket, despite his low income. Some other guards and some of the coal miners that still worked there chipped in and helped with the expense later on, but Perry didn't know he would get any help from anyone when he paid the vet.

When the work ended at one of the mine sites and no one knew what to do about the two stray dogs that the guards had been taking care of, Perry took them and gave them a home.

When he died, Perry was living in the same home that he was brought to from the hospital when he was born. His only residence his whole life was that simple old house, but it suited him just fine. To him, it was all the home that he ever wanted or needed. He took extremely good care of the place and made improvements to it, but he never desired a new home or a fancy home.

Perry loved one woman his entire life. He didn't even date anyone else. He married that gal, but she left him after a few years of marriage, and he never dated another woman. The living conditions were not the best, since they lived with Perry's senile old father in that small house. I don't really blame his wife for leaving, and she continued to care very much about him after the marriage ended. Even Perry did not get bitter towards her after she left him: he loved her until the day he died. He never wanted anyone else. Perry's favorite song, and mine as well, is "He Stopped Loving Her Today,' by George Jones. It's the saddest song ever written, I think, and Perry actually lived it out with his love for Sherry.

Perry would have been 53 years old today.

Tom
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Pamela



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 3542
Location: Gardiner, NY

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 10:08 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, Tom, I guess Perry is probably looking down at you right now, proud as can be that you have taken back control of your life. As you said, he never told other people what they should do....so he probably wished you didn't smoke, but never butted in.

Always hold on to those memories of Perry.
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kannprint



Quit Date:
April 10, 2004

Posts: 4988
Location: St. Louis, MO

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 11:01 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Tom,

What a beautiful tribute to your friend, Perry. He died at much too young an age. It just makes no sense when someone we love has to leave.
God obviously had a larger assignment for him.
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo
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PinkLungs



Quit Date:
July 19, 2004

Posts: 139

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 2:33 PM    Post subject: Thank you. Reply with quote

Thank you for sharing Perry with us.
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kevin
Site Admin


Quit Date:
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Posts: 9538
Location: cincinnati, oh

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 5:14 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

you're a lucky man to have had a friend like Perry, Tom.

and he was just as lucky to have a friend like you.
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kevin

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ms_tapestry



Quit Date:
October 21, 2009

Posts: 2574
Location: Seminole, TX

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 7:24 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for sharing your friend Perry with us.
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Tonya

You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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londa



Quit Date:
July 28, 2004

Posts: 2469
Location: new york, USA

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 7:38 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a wonderful, greatful, content man Perry was. How thankful you must be to have had a friend like him. As he too, was very lucky to have a friend like you.

Tom, you have a warm heart. God Bless ya!

Love, Londa
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My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do.
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Mindy



Quit Date:
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Posts: 1074

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 8:07 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tom, My thoughts and prayers are with you as you remember Perry. He sounds like he was a great man---

Six months, three weeks, three days, 19 hours, 3 minutes and 8 seconds. 8271 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,447.26. Life saved: 4 weeks, 17 hours, 15 minutes.
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: August 5, 2004 10:25 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Mindy and all.

We are all a little poorer for this loss. The world is not as bright as it once was. Of course, those of us who knew and loved him are suffering the greatest loss.

Tom
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Marigrrl



Quit Date:
December 1, 2010

Posts: 894
Location: New York

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 6:19 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story about Perry. He truly sounds like an angel Very Happy .
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Kerry



Quit Date:
May 4, 2004

Posts: 862
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 11:08 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a cool guy. We should all be so lucky to have such peace within our lives. It seemed he lived his life fuller than a lot of people who die at 100. I'm sorry you're missing him so much.
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justdebbie



Quit Date:
August 1, 2004

Posts: 494
Location: iowa

PostPosted: August 12, 2004 5:30 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Tom for sharing Perry with us!

Hugs to you, wishing we could all have a friend like Perry.

Deb
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Ken



Quit Date:
December 11, 2003

Posts: 138
Location: Estacada, Oregon

PostPosted: August 19, 2004 6:39 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tom,
Just run across this today, sorry I'm so late.
That was an outstanding tribute to Perry. He was undoubtedly an outstanding person. A cousin that you call your brother. I too have cousins like that and I can relate to what you are saying.
Thank you – that was outstanding
Ken
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skiermom



Quit Date:
July 25, 2003

Posts: 148
Location: Long Island, NY

PostPosted: August 29, 2004 9:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow Tom. You were lucky to know him - and he you. I'm sure he's proud of you now!
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Today is a gift........enjoy it!

Eileen
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tsjay49



Quit Date:
January 1, 2004

Posts: 1863
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: August 6, 2005 7:35 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

BTT
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