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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: August 5, 2004 8:16 AM Post subject: He would have been 53 today |
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I want to share with my Quit Buds the memory of my cousin, Perry, who died on Arpil 1, 2003.
Perry and I were much more like brothers than cousins. We were two years apart in age, and we spent many, many hours together as we were growing up. We continued to be very close as adults.
Perry got very sick, and it took exploratory surgery to discover that his abdomen was full of cancer. The cancer was not in any organs, but it was around the intestines, choking them. It was inoperable, and the surgeon referred him to some oncologists. The oncologists bought him some time with chemotherapy, but they could not offer hope beyond that. Their prognosis, unfortunately, was correct. The gains made in chemotherapy were lost, and the cancer came back worse than ever.
Perry never once took a puff of a cigarette. He never took even one sip of any kind of alcoholic beverage. He exercised regularly by playing basketball. Boy, he sure loved basketball!
You just have to wonder why things happen. In his case, I guess his genes were his worst enemy. His mother died of breast cancer, and an older brother died from a brain tumor when Perry was only about three years old.
People, they just don't come any better than old Perry. He was a fine man. I miss him so much!
Perry was a man of simple pleasures: if there ever was a person that can be said of, it was Perry. New and fancy things did not impress him one bit. He liked to have two or three older pickups or cars rather than one brand new one. He took pride in having older vehicles that looked good and ran well. He wasn't a mechanic, but he did the simplest of the maintenance items and made sure to have the other items taken care of on schedule.
He kept to his own business. I do not remember even one instance when he tried to convince someone to do something the way he thought it should be done. He did things his way, but he didn't try to impose his opinions on anyone. Wouldn't it be great if we were all like that????
Perry loved animals, especially dogs and cats. He worked for very little more than minimum wage as a security guard, and most of his work was in inactive strip mine lands. The guards would befriend the dogs that people had dumped out there in the mines.
One day, Perry noticed that one of the stray dogs had been hurt, so he took it to the vet. It turned out that the dog had been shot in the jaw. Perry paid for the vet bill out of his own pocket, despite his low income. Some other guards and some of the coal miners that still worked there chipped in and helped with the expense later on, but Perry didn't know he would get any help from anyone when he paid the vet.
When the work ended at one of the mine sites and no one knew what to do about the two stray dogs that the guards had been taking care of, Perry took them and gave them a home.
When he died, Perry was living in the same home that he was brought to from the hospital when he was born. His only residence his whole life was that simple old house, but it suited him just fine. To him, it was all the home that he ever wanted or needed. He took extremely good care of the place and made improvements to it, but he never desired a new home or a fancy home.
Perry loved one woman his entire life. He didn't even date anyone else. He married that gal, but she left him after a few years of marriage, and he never dated another woman. The living conditions were not the best, since they lived with Perry's senile old father in that small house. I don't really blame his wife for leaving, and she continued to care very much about him after the marriage ended. Even Perry did not get bitter towards her after she left him: he loved her until the day he died. He never wanted anyone else. Perry's favorite song, and mine as well, is "He Stopped Loving Her Today,' by George Jones. It's the saddest song ever written, I think, and Perry actually lived it out with his love for Sherry.
Perry would have been 53 years old today.
Tom _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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Pamela
Quit Date: -
Posts: 3542 Location: Gardiner, NY
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Posted: August 5, 2004 10:08 AM Post subject: |
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Well, Tom, I guess Perry is probably looking down at you right now, proud as can be that you have taken back control of your life. As you said, he never told other people what they should do....so he probably wished you didn't smoke, but never butted in.
Always hold on to those memories of Perry. _________________
FIVE + years of freedom and loving it! |
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kannprint
Quit Date: April 10, 2004
Posts: 4988 Location: St. Louis, MO
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Posted: August 5, 2004 11:01 AM Post subject: |
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Dear Tom,
What a beautiful tribute to your friend, Perry. He died at much too young an age. It just makes no sense when someone we love has to leave.
God obviously had a larger assignment for him. _________________
LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN, LOVE MUCH.
Jo |
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PinkLungs
Quit Date: July 19, 2004
Posts: 139
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Posted: August 5, 2004 2:33 PM Post subject: Thank you. |
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Thank you for sharing Perry with us. |
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kevin Site Admin
Quit Date: -
Posts: 9538 Location: cincinnati, oh
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Posted: August 5, 2004 5:14 PM Post subject: |
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you're a lucky man to have had a friend like Perry, Tom.
and he was just as lucky to have a friend like you. _________________
keep choosing life!
kevin
the zen of the quit |
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ms_tapestry
Quit Date: October 21, 2009
Posts: 2574 Location: Seminole, TX
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Posted: August 5, 2004 7:24 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks for sharing your friend Perry with us. _________________
Tonya
You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt |
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londa
Quit Date: July 28, 2004
Posts: 2469 Location: new york, USA
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Posted: August 5, 2004 7:38 PM Post subject: |
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What a wonderful, greatful, content man Perry was. How thankful you must be to have had a friend like him. As he too, was very lucky to have a friend like you.
Tom, you have a warm heart. God Bless ya!
Love, Londa _________________
My name is Londa. I am 57 and I act like I'm 20. I love to laugh and smile. The more the better. Being kind to someone is the best thing you can do. |
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Mindy
Quit Date: -
Posts: 1074
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Posted: August 5, 2004 8:07 PM Post subject: |
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Tom, My thoughts and prayers are with you as you remember Perry. He sounds like he was a great man---
Six months, three weeks, three days, 19 hours, 3 minutes and 8 seconds. 8271 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,447.26. Life saved: 4 weeks, 17 hours, 15 minutes. |
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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: August 5, 2004 10:25 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks, Mindy and all.
We are all a little poorer for this loss. The world is not as bright as it once was. Of course, those of us who knew and loved him are suffering the greatest loss.
Tom _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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Marigrrl
Quit Date: December 1, 2010
Posts: 894 Location: New York
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Posted: August 7, 2004 6:19 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story about Perry. He truly sounds like an angel . _________________
Follow Your Bliss |
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Kerry
Quit Date: May 4, 2004
Posts: 862 Location: Illinois
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Posted: August 7, 2004 11:08 PM Post subject: |
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What a cool guy. We should all be so lucky to have such peace within our lives. It seemed he lived his life fuller than a lot of people who die at 100. I'm sorry you're missing him so much. |
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justdebbie
Quit Date: August 1, 2004
Posts: 494 Location: iowa
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Posted: August 12, 2004 5:30 PM Post subject: |
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Thanks Tom for sharing Perry with us!
Hugs to you, wishing we could all have a friend like Perry.
Deb |
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Ken
Quit Date: December 11, 2003
Posts: 138 Location: Estacada, Oregon
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Posted: August 19, 2004 6:39 PM Post subject: |
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Tom,
Just run across this today, sorry I'm so late.
That was an outstanding tribute to Perry. He was undoubtedly an outstanding person. A cousin that you call your brother. I too have cousins like that and I can relate to what you are saying.
Thank you – that was outstanding
Ken |
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skiermom
Quit Date: July 25, 2003
Posts: 148 Location: Long Island, NY
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Posted: August 29, 2004 9:34 PM Post subject: |
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Wow Tom. You were lucky to know him - and he you. I'm sure he's proud of you now! _________________
Today is a gift........enjoy it!
Eileen |
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tsjay49
Quit Date: January 1, 2004
Posts: 1863 Location: Kentucky
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Posted: August 6, 2005 7:35 PM Post subject: |
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BTT _________________
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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