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Exactly what I didn't need
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 2:48 PM    Post subject: Exactly what I didn't need Reply with quote

For those of you who didn't get christine39's email this afternoon, I'll try to recap...basically a scolding email for all of us who joined here (a place she apparently considers anti-FFS and her personally) and have ditched FFS.

I lost it.

I have enough going on in my life, I don't need another mother. I have given SO much of myself to FFS, I'm completely insulted. All FFS has given me since this migration has been headaches and frustration. And I'm supposed to feel guilty for getting some additional support elsewhere???

Anyway, I thought it was extremely insulting, especially since I think ALL of us who left have been seen posting there, even though it can take forever and sometimes longer it seems!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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Angel



Quit Date:
November 11, 2004

Posts: 208
Location: MI

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 3:04 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Be mad. I felt bad leaving FFS, but it is a SELF centered program. I did what I needed to do for mySELF, just like you. In fact, you probably spent more time back at FFS than I did. I made the effort, but when it got to be a pain to log in, etc, I just ditched it. Adding stress to my life is not condicive to a successful quit, and those horrible new boards are stressful. Nobody should feel like it's their business to demand you go out of your way to help others. You are a tremendous support to all of us here and there are several new people everyday. Don't lose any sleep over it.
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Paul



Quit Date:
February 6, 2004

Posts: 125
Location: Portsmouth, RI

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 3:16 PM    Post subject: Oh well!!~ Reply with quote

Hi Lynn~

Is that "Christine39" email a post over at FFS? I guess I'm confused who it was addressed to and where it is.

But I don't think you should worry too much about the opinion of a poster on a message board unless of course it was a close friend of yours whose opinion you value highly.

We all know what you do to support quitters both old and new. If she has a problems with where you or I post and to whom we offer support, well I guess that would be her problem, right? Wink

Lynn, I hope you have a great smokefree weekend!!

ri paul
70 days
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 3:34 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

She did post a "help the newbies" type message at FFS which is totally fine. No, this was an email, if you didn't get it, she mus not have your email...lots of us got it...

I guess it did piss me off because she is someone who has been SO supportive of me in the past, and KNOWS better in my opinion, and I had to hear that someone I admire even more agreed with her. So, it was a little disappointing.

But, just as I advised her to get a life, I should probably get one myself, you're right. Embarassed If it hadn't come directly to my inbox, I probably would have!!!

Thanks for the reality check, Paul. I can always count on you for that Wink
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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Zuzu



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 3:55 PM    Post subject: I think it's funny. Reply with quote

Lynn,

I think it's really funny. Okay, I have a strange sense of humor (it's the Minnesotan in me... too many long winters and too much weak coffee.. you ponder the silliest things and chuckle.)

While I don't have a clue who Christine39 is and I haven't seen the missive and I'm NOT commenting on the content of her character, etc. etc. I just got the best little giggle going on here...

Bad, bad people who stop smoking.. for seeking support that doesn't make sense to me, having thoughts I disagree with, doing things I don't want want to do, having opinions different than my own... bad, bad people who stop smoking. My world has become unbearable because of you. heh.

It slays me.. heh.

-Zuzu
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law_girl_1969



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 626
Location: Freeburg, Illinois

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 4:00 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

ROFL, Zuzu, thank you Laughing

I so needed that...GAWD...I sound about as silly as I accuse Christine for being...man, I need to get outside!!! Now if only my broken toe would allow me to get my running shoes on - THAT's what I need more than anything I think.

Thanks again, just what this silly woman needed this afternoon Cool
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Lynn

"There are those who think they can and those who think they can't and they are both right." Henry Ford
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jlf/Jeri



Quit Date:
November 12, 2003

Posts: 322
Location: Sacramento, CA

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 4:20 PM    Post subject: Lynn I got one too! Reply with quote

Hi Lynn,

I got that e-mail from Christine too. At first it stung me a little and I felt like screaming out at her for being so unfair and judgemental but I've since calmed down. Mad

I feel really bad about my lack of support at FFS. I don't have much time during the day to reply to posts as I work at a CPA firm and with yesterday being the tax filing deadline, my office was a madhouse. I did try to post at FFS but I can't bring up the mods, or I lose my replies when I try to submit them. Becuase I don't have time, I tried, it didn't work so I left. I guess I do feel a little guilty about not trying harder, but in order to keep MY quit, I must do what is best for me. A very wise old quitter once told me to back off if or when posting became a chore. I can only do good work when it is of my choosing or I will lose my effectiveness. I do want to help others but I guess I cannot do it at my own expense or because it is demanded of me. And I know I cannot please all of the people all of the time. I will continue to try to post at FFS but not because someone tells me I must, but because I truly want to help someone and because I truly feel I have something to offer them that may help. Sometimes, I simply don't know what to say.

AS for this site and Kevin, I love this site and Kevin has only been supportive and giving. I do not know of the history of this site or of any bad feeling between him and FFS. I think it's best to leave all that in the past where it belongs and I'm grateful to Kevin for making me feel welcome here. He has opened his heart to all of us and I cannot fault him for that, I admire him for doing just that! He is truly paying it forward.

I just wanted you to know that I got the same e-mail and yes, my feelings were hurt. But to you I can only say, you are an awesome source of help and support and I could NEVER find fault with your genuine concern for others trying to quit smoking. You have always inspired me.

Thanks for being you! Very Happy

Jeri
Five months, three days, 15 hours, 11 minutes and 37 seconds. 4668 cigarettes not smoked, saving $977.89. Life saved: 2 weeks, 2 days, 5 hours, 0 minutes.
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lbuz



Quit Date:
May 29, 2007

Posts: 254
Location: New York

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 4:33 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't get the e-mail, but I did see the boards that the newbies needed help and went right over to mod 1 to post a few. I spend less and less time over at FFS because 1. I just don't have the time and 2. it takes so long to maneuver that I would rather be happy and comfortable over here. Anyway don't feel bad about ANYTHING!!! Isnt that what FFS teaches us all along is to how to keep our quit and do whatever we need to to get that done. The longer we are quit the less time we spend on the boards and we shouldn't feel guilty about anything. Just wanted to put in my two cents ( I took them out of my piggy) Very Happy

Lisa
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Tammy



Quit Date:
February 16, 2004

Posts: 2565
Location: Florida

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 4:41 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh Lisa, you are really on today. Yesterday paul was cracking me up and now the both of ya. I can't take it Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Food for thought (wonder why I have food on my mind? maybe all my Gif's?) Laughing Anyway Christine did post in another post that she was having a rough day she had just found out that yet another friend of hers was diagnosed with lung cancer. Crying or Very sad
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Tammy
Free and loving it!
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Rach



Quit Date:
February 7, 2004

Posts: 270
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 5:11 PM    Post subject: Lynn Reply with quote

Hello.

Yes, I received the email this afternoon and responded. This is what I had to say. I do not intend to expend any more energy on this. I've watched people stir things up from time to time since I've been on the boards and I've never taken part in it. I don't intend to now, but because I felt her message was directed at me (since I sent the original e about coming here) I responded.

Christine:

I am glad to hear that some of the issues at FFS are being resolved. I will be happy to check that out. My time on the computer is limited and therefore I choose to use it to best serve MY quit, since that's the only quit I have to answer for. I have never engaged it the skirmishes that have come up because I don't care to use my energy that way. However, in this case, I feel like your comments have been directed at me, since I was one of the first to suggest Woofman to others.

I don't think that anyone anywhere denies the benefits of FFS, nor do they deny the need for newbies to have encouragement from some that have quit for longer. It has been extremely difficult for me to post there or even VIEW the new boards, MANY others have said the same, including newbies. Quite frankly, I've been extremely frustrated with FFS and felt that the entire changeover was handled very amateurishly for an organization with such a great reptutation. THAT is a shame...not the fact that quitters sought another forum where they could exchange with one another without constant frustration. Clearly, this level of chaos was not anticipated by FFS/ALA. I'm not here to finger point or blame anyone for the choices they have made SINCE the disastrous changeover. I know that myself, and others were torn when we left. What difference does it make which board we post on and which newbies we embrace anyway? If you have read posts at Woofman as of late, you'll see that not only has Kevin voiced his support for FFS, but many, many others have as well. In addition, Kevin said himself in a recent post that his intent was NOT to have another smoking cessation program, but to have a "module 8" type forum, if you will. He also stated that FFS was the best program out there. I know that I, as well as many others at Woofman have encouraged newbies to seek out FFS and work the modules as that is the best program out there.

I was not aware of anyone at Woofman "talking smack" about FFS. Obviously, the issues you have with Woofman occurred long before my time. This has not been my experience with Woofman. I guess I just don't understand this extremist mentality that you MUST stay with FFS no matter what happens. Things just don't work that way in my world when it comes to my quit. Surely you can agree that a quit is a very self-centered thing. Giving back is DEFINITELY theraputic, but putting yourself in a situation that is time-consuming and unproductive is ridiculous to me and I'm not going to feel guilty for placing my energies elsewhere and giving back to newbies at another forum.

Furthermore, the fact that I'm having to defend myself over which smoking cessation message board forum I choose or encourage others to use a little bit silly. I'm not diminishing the importance of FFS or any other program, but PLEASE...there are much bigger issues in the world to expend energy on. I agree with Peggy that one thing it HAS done is remind me that my life IS 3D.

This is all I have to say. I don't want to engage any further on this issue. To those who felt abandoned at FFS and are reading this, I apologize, my intent was never EVER to do that, but I think most of you know me and know that by now.

With warmest regards,
Rachael
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Rach
Three Years and counting
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Zuzu



Quit Date:
-

Posts: 962
Location: Marin

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 5:29 PM    Post subject: Glad you're laughing Lynn! Reply with quote

I had no idea that you broke your toe.. can we all say OUCH!! I'm so sorry to hear it! I'm glad you can laugh at the situation too. It is funny...

And if you can't get outside you can take a lesson from Ms. Secret Agent Dog... have your husband/partner/lover/friend take you for a drive and just stick your head out the window, drool a little on yourself and BREATHE deeply. ((If you lick their face a bet you dollars to donuts they'll have a pleasing reaction.. or at least a reaction that will be pleasing to you.. try it.. go on.. come on.. try it.. heh.))

It's beautiful outside today, Lynn.. and beautiful inside too, eh? Laugh and keep it all in perspective.

-Zuzu
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Carol



Quit Date:
December 9, 2009

Posts: 631
Location: Wisconsin

PostPosted: April 16, 2004 8:48 PM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lynn
I too was one of the chosen ones to get the scolding. I have to say I just read them and replied so I have not had a chance to cool down or realize any objectivity. It's one thing to have someone post a message like that on the boards where we can choose to ignore them if we wish, but when it comes into my living room. Well I am not at all happy with that. As I said in my reply...I came to FFS to find help with MY quitting smoking. I did not come there to help others. As it turns out that has been an extra special bonus that I have gotten, but if I don't take care of my quit first I will have nothing to post to the newbies....except maybe how to relapse. And if I don't reach out my hand to help out of my love and concern for others, but rather and obligation stemming from guilt and shaming, well I am nothing but a hypocrite and have nothing genuine to give. Yes I am P.O'd and maybe I just need time to cool off. I too know about her friend that has cancer and I am sure her fear and anger about that is spilling out all over the place. And I am sure there is an urgency for her to help as many others as possible to prevent them from going through that same suffering. But we have to step back and realize there is only so much any on person can do.
Well now that I have vented, perhaps I can go back and read some of your replies,,,,maybe now I too can get a smile and a laugh.
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CAROL
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LadyHouck



Quit Date:
January 4, 2004

Posts: 195
Location: Texas

PostPosted: April 17, 2004 12:24 AM    Post subject: What a deal! Reply with quote

I had no idea that anyone was offended by others coming to this forum to keep in touch with one another. I do think that the people who got the email were probably ones who put their address on the message boards that first day or two so that everyone could keep in touch if the site were to crash, etc. I didn't post my email address and didn't get any emails from Christine.

I have tried and tried to work that message board over there, but I'm using a dial up connection and it takes a good 30-45 seconds to load a page over there now and then I also have to log in every other message. It took me about 5 minutes to get one message posted the other day and I simply don't have time for it. With the old message boards I could put out about a message a minute.

I would love to be able to post to the newbies like I used to, but the time it takes to post is just ridiculous. As someone else mentioned, I have a 3D life with 2 children and can't devote much time to any message board.

Hugs to all!
Tonya
Three months, one week, five days, 52 minutes and 34 seconds. 4081 cigarettes not smoked, saving $411.98. Life saved: 2 weeks, 4 hours, 5 minutes.
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Tonya
3+ years!

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

Erma Bombeck
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july26judi



Quit Date:
July 26, 2003

Posts: 233
Location: No. Calif.

PostPosted: April 19, 2004 12:13 AM    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Lynn,

I didn't get an e-mail either. I did see the post over at FFS to help the newbies...and I went straight to Module one to help as many as my time permitted.

Like everyone else has said...FFS is very frustrating and slow right now! You really have to be "determined" if you want to post there...I am "determined"..."determined" to keep my quit. Unfortunately, my time and energy do not allow me to spend the time necessary to respond to several newbies. I try to respond to at least 3...but even that can take more time and energy than I have.

I just want you to know, that I think you are one of the best supporters around!!!

I think we are all doing our best for ourselves and for the newbies! I am sure that as soon as things are fine tuned at FFS, many of us will enjoy being there again and helping the newbies to hold onto their quits.

Please know that I think you are one great "quitter" as well as a terrific supporter!

Let me see you smile Very Happy !
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So happy to be quit and REALLY want to stay that way!!!

judi
quit date 7/26/03
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Fightn4life



Quit Date:
October 23, 2003

Posts: 1573
Location: Loysburg, PA

PostPosted: April 21, 2004 1:43 AM    Post subject: Yes...I too was a lucky one Reply with quote

I got the e-mail too. I was hurt and started to respond but decided it wasn't worth any more anger on my part.

I have done the best over the last 5+ months to post when my 3D world wasn't ambushing me. I was unable to get on the FFS boards and posted here. I didn't feel the need to defend myself then or now. I believe we all do the best we can.

I hadn't a clue what she was talking about when it was mentioned the people over here were laughing because FFS was like a rival? I couldn't make a lick of since out of that as I feel all support groups are linked to a common goal.

If we can beat the Nicotine demon we are brothers and sisters in battle. I could give a hoot where someone calls home. If they beat the demon they beat the odds and we are all one in this battle for freedom together.

I have read nothing but positve comments from Kevin about everyone invading his smokless world. The Tales Of The Quit have been motavation and inspiration for me.

All I have to say is, thank you Kevin for giving us a place to voice and connect with other quitters when we needed a boost.

Not smoking in a world full of smokers has been a battle in itself for me and I am so grateful for all the smoking support groups. No matter where they are.

Sandyz
QD 10/23/03
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